Prayer Diary

Asking Jesus

6/9/2021

My morning routine, at least most mornings, includes Bible reading; the Psalms, Old Testament, the Epistles, and the Gospels.
Usually we read about Jesus asking someone if she/he wants to be healed, So, today I was startled to notice in Luke 5:12-13 that it was the leaper asking Jesus if he chose to heal him: Once, when he was in one of the cities there was a man covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you choose, you can me me clean.” Then Jesus stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, “I do choose. Be made clear.” Immediately the leprosy left him.
Think of something you need help with right now, some healing in your life—a situation, a physical problem, yours or someone you know. I’m sure something comes to mind. Ask Jesus if he can help you, if he chooses to do so.
Can you listen to his response. Can you let him help you? How
does it feel to ask?
If it was hard, or even impossible to ask Jesus or to listen to him, don’t worry. He has heard heard you anyway. He has chosen.

More prayer questions

5/18/2021

I have been praying with Br. Keith Nelson’s (SSJE) April 24, 2016 sermon, “Marks of Love (Where Nails Have Been): Reflecting on the Third Mark of Mission. Br. Keith quotes the SSJE Rule of Life: Our intercession does not call down the divine presence to come to the place where we have seen a need, for Christ who fills all thing is already in that place. It is his Spirit who calls us to join him there by offering our love in intercessory prayer and action, to be used by God for healing and transformation.
As I’ve mentioned previously, intercession is at the core of my Christian practice because I know and have come to believe that God has called me to be an intercessor, or to use a more colloquial phrase, ‘to pray for people.’
Here are a few of the questions that Br. Keith’s message brought up to me: 1) If Jesus is already in the place of need, then for who or what am I praying for? 2) What place does my prayer play other than making me feel good? 3) Does this mean that through prayer we become co-creators with God? It’s about control. Mine? God’s? God and me healing and transforming together?

Grief and moving forward

5/13/2021

I called my friend yesterday to see how she was doing. Her husband of 27 years died two weeks ago in a tragic accident when a tree he was cutting down fell on him. My friend is strong, competent, and loving; she is surrounded by family and friends. She is doing fine, and she said so. She is also grieving, and she said so. We talked for a bit about these two sides of a coin, both incised with clarity.
My friend expressed how deeply grateful she is for my prayers; that God’s peace surround everyone in the midst of this tragedy. Then she turned the coin turned over and she broke down, admitting how hard, sad, and incomprehensible it all is.
She will keep turning the coin, examining both sides. In doing so she will get through this. She will continue both to grieve and move forward with her life. If we don’t grieve, we won’t move on. We do both over and over again until the moving on side becomes the shinier of the two, and grieving side expresses memories. The coin takes on a new look.

Praying for my enemies

5/11/2021

This is what I am hearing today about praying for my enemies. The enemies I am considering are those who in the political arena are not speaking with honesty nor with love. Jesus tells us to love everyone, which means Jesus calls me to love people who do not love everyone (of course that includes me). Enough said. You get my point.
My prayer is simple, short, and frequent. It is more visual than with words. I pray Jesus walking with everyone, which includes individuals, and surrounding them with love. That’s it. That’s all. Anything more leads me to telling Jesus what I think they should do. Love is enough.

How do we pray for our enemies?

5/8/2021

How do we pray for our enemies? Enemy is a strong word, a drastic category. In my everyday life I don’t really have enemies, although in my personal orbit and in the political area there are many who annoy me and with whom I disagree. Regardless of the degree of animosity or disagreement, Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. To do this involves stripping away many of our ideas about prayer until we come to the essence of who God is and what God wants: LOVE.
If love has no judgement, it follows that prayer be free of judgment. So hard! Maybe, when I pray for those I love, I feel I can get away with some specifics positive judgements, which I think of as good suggestions, but it doesn’t work that way for my enemies because I want them to change in big ways so that their ways become my ways, completely. The best I can come up with to pray that love surround them. And, of course this is all that anyone needs, those I love and, yes, those I hate.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48

First and Second Commandment

5/5/2021

‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with al your mind.’ This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like it: ’You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these commandments hang all the law and the prophets’ Matthew 22:37-40
As Christians we believe that God is love, that God loves everyone, that we are to love everyone, ourselves and our neighbors. In each gospel these are the two commandment Jesus tells to follow. So why don’t I? Why do I judge people as bad and evil, and not worth of love? Why do I live my life as though God doesn’t really love everyone, and therefore I don’t have either?
We’re not going to get this perfectly right, but we can work toward being perfect in love. Start with the mystery of God’s grace. It is available for the asking. I pray that my mind/body/spirit will act with love; that my mind will release judgments, that my body will act in loving ways, and my heart will love my neighbor as myself.

Loving God

5/3/2021

A friend is taking an online course on examining one’s values. The assignment is to choose four important aspects in your life that you value and then work to align your actions with them . For example, if health is important to you, then you would try to eat healthy and exercise regularly.
The values my friend listed were: health, caring for her marriage, being a life-long learner, and attending to her faith life. As we talked about this, I realized that I was viewing and interpreting this exercise through a different lens.
I started with my faith, and then listed three attitudes I lacked: patience, presence, and being non-judgmental. I started with the greatest and first commandment as proclaimed by Jesus’ : ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind,’ Matthew 22:37, and then went on to the fruits of the spirit.
For me I need to be patient, present, and non judgmental in order to love God. When I work to attain those, my health, family, learning, and whatever else is important to me in my every day life, will work out and fall into place. My values are not specific events. Rather, it is through life events, that my values, if I attend to them, will align with loving God.

A Hallelujah sunrise

4/7/2021

Easter was comforting and exhausting for me. I started the day with two sunrise services, the first live-streamed by SSJE (Society of St. John the Evangelist) at 4:30. The brothers began chanting at the entrance to their chapel on Memorial Drive and then processioned in where they sang the psalms and read scripture—Genesis, Exodus, Ezekiel, Mary’s magnificat, all interspersed with psalms. They were in no hurry to get to the most important moment in Christian faith when we all shout Hallelujah.
I left before the Hallelujah to walk up the street to the sunrise service at my church (the sun had fully risen by then). About twenty of us stood in the church parking lot, worshipping for the first time together in over a year, shouting hallelujah.
By the time I got home, the brothers had shouted Hallelujah, and a magnificent postlude was concluding the service. Exhausted, I took a nap before putting on my Easter bonnet to return to my church, this time on-line, to shout Hallelujah one more time.

Virtual feet washing

4/2/2021

Last evening I watched the live-streamed Maundy Thursday service in the chapel of the Society of St. John the Evangelist. I say watched, but I really mean that I participated in it. The brothers washed one another’s feet. I felt I was there, that it was happening to me, that I was participating, washing and being washed.
I’m rather surprised my visceral reaction to this intimate orthodox experience.It was nothing we ever did at UCC church when I was growing up (nor is a tradition now). It might be part of the reading of John 13, but I recall we focused more on the breaking of the bread featured in the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke), not on Jesus washing the disciples feet, which only John records.
But here I was, sitting at home, witnessing this very intimate experience between the SSJE brothers, witnessing an expression of love that encourages me to let go of the many excuses I have not to do whatever loving thing I am called to do.

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life

3/26/2021

Here are seven “I AM” sayings that the writer of John’s Gospel choses to describe ways that Jesus presents his divine nature to us.
      “I am the bread of life” (John 6:35).
   “I am the light of the world” (John 8:12).
   “I am the gate for the sheep” (John 10:7).
   “I am the good shepherd” (John 10:11).
   “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25).
   “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6).
   “I am the True Vine” (John 15:1).

   Although Jesus is all of those things to me, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6) is my default ‘I AM”. When my life is steady, which is it is most of the time, I call on Jesus to walk with me so I will be more honest, loving, generous, available, and humble, and thus be less self-centered.
The challenge is to remember that the “I” is Jesus, not me. Truth be told I want want my way, my truth, my life with Jesus as my disciple.