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Grief and moving forward

5/13/2021

I called my friend yesterday to see how she was doing. Her husband of 27 years died two weeks ago in a tragic accident when a tree he was cutting down fell on him. My friend is strong, competent, and loving; she is surrounded by family and friends. She is doing fine, and she said so. She is also grieving, and she said so. We talked for a bit about these two sides of a coin, both incised with clarity.
My friend expressed how deeply grateful she is for my prayers; that God’s peace surround everyone in the midst of this tragedy. Then she turned the coin turned over and she broke down, admitting how hard, sad, and incomprehensible it all is.
She will keep turning the coin, examining both sides. In doing so she will get through this. She will continue both to grieve and move forward with her life. If we don’t grieve, we won’t move on. We do both over and over again until the moving on side becomes the shinier of the two, and grieving side expresses memories. The coin takes on a new look.

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Praying for my enemies

5/11/2021

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This is what I am hearing today about praying for my enemies. The enemies I am considering are those who in the political arena are not speaking with honesty nor with love. Jesus tells us to love everyone, which means Jesus calls me to love people who do not love everyone (of course that includes me). Enough said. You get my point.
My prayer is simple, short, and frequent. It is more visual than with words. I pray Jesus walking with everyone, which includes individuals, and surrounding them with love. That’s it. That’s all. Anything more leads me to telling Jesus what I think they should do. Love is enough.

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How do we pray for our enemies?

5/8/2021

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How do we pray for our enemies? Enemy is a strong word, a drastic category. In my everyday life I don’t really have enemies, although in my personal orbit and in the political area there are many who annoy me and with whom I disagree. Regardless of the degree of animosity or disagreement, Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. To do this involves stripping away many of our ideas about prayer until we come to the essence of who God is and what God wants: LOVE.
If love has no judgement, it follows that prayer be free of judgment. So hard! Maybe, when I pray for those I love, I feel I can get away with some specifics positive judgements, which I think of as good suggestions, but it doesn’t work that way for my enemies because I want them to change in big ways so that their ways become my ways, completely. The best I can come up with to pray that love surround them. And, of course this is all that anyone needs, those I love and, yes, those I hate.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48

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First and Second Commandment

5/5/2021

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‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with al your mind.’ This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like it: ’You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these commandments hang all the law and the prophets’ Matthew 22:37-40
As Christians we believe that God is love, that God loves everyone, that we are to love everyone, ourselves and our neighbors. In each gospel these are the two commandment Jesus tells to follow. So why don’t I? Why do I judge people as bad and evil, and not worth of love? Why do I live my life as though God doesn’t really love everyone, and therefore I don’t have either?
We’re not going to get this perfectly right, but we can work toward being perfect in love. Start with the mystery of God’s grace. It is available for the asking. I pray that my mind/body/spirit will act with love; that my mind will release judgments, that my body will act in loving ways, and my heart will love my neighbor as myself.

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Loving God

5/3/2021

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A friend is taking an online course on examining one’s values. The assignment is to choose four important aspects in your life that you value and then work to align your actions with them . For example, if health is important to you, then you would try to eat healthy and exercise regularly.
The values my friend listed were: health, caring for her marriage, being a life-long learner, and attending to her faith life. As we talked about this, I realized that I was viewing and interpreting this exercise through a different lens.
I started with my faith, and then listed three attitudes I lacked: patience, presence, and being non-judgmental. I started with the greatest and first commandment as proclaimed by Jesus’ : ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind,’ Matthew 22:37, and then went on to the fruits of the spirit.
For me I need to be patient, present, and non judgmental in order to love God. When I work to attain those, my health, family, learning, and whatever else is important to me in my every day life, will work out and fall into place. My values are not specific events. Rather, it is through life events, that my values, if I attend to them, will align with loving God.

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More prayer questions

Grief and moving forward

Praying for my enemies

How do we pray for our enemies?

First and Second Commandment

Loving God

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