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  A Prayer Diary

Being hard on myself

6/30/2019

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“In the beginning Jesus Christ by His Spirit has to check you from doing a great many things that may be perfectly right for everyone else but not right for you.”  
     This quote from Oswald Chambers that I just posted as the daily quote has me thinking. Throughout adulthood people have told me that I am too hard on myself. I never agreed with them, always feeling and knowing that this is the way I should be. Chambers helps me clarify that I am on the right track in being hard on myself.
     He goes on: “See that you do not use your limitations to criticize someone else.” I would add, ‘or to compare yourself with someone else.’ We are all on our own journey, and by grace some of us hear the call from God. That’s on only guidance I need to follow.

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Who is God in Edinburgh?

6/19/2019

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     As I walk the streets of Edinburg I carry Krish Kandiah’s question in my mind and heart: Who is God?
       I ask it as I smile at the statues of Oog Willie placed throughout the city. Who is God for the designers of these hopeful statues celebrating children.

      

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​       I ask it as I enjoy fish and chips and a beer. Who is God for me, so fortunate to be able to take this trip?
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​       I ask it as I watch waiters and waitresses clear tables. Who is God for people who have steady jobs? 
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​I asked it yesterday as I wandered Inchcolm Island in the Firth of Forth. Who was God for the Augustinian monks who lived here from the 400s to 1450? 
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           I ask it as I pass homeless men and women on every block of Princes Street, along the Royal Mile, and places in between. Who is God for those whose home is the street?
      I offer no photos, not because I want to avoid the sadness of it all, but in deference to these human beings. I am a tourist but these folks, with their blankets and jars where I can place a coin, are not tourist attractions.
    Who is God for them? Who is God for me as I walk by, sometimes dropping a coin, but usually ‘passing by on the other side’?


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Who is God at St. Cuthbert's?

6/16/2019

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​   St. Cuthbert’s Church is located at the west end of the Princes Street Garden. To the south, towering above, is Edinburgh Castle at the end of the Royal Mile in Old Town. To the north is New Town with its Georgian homes and private gardens.
    St. Cuthbert’s represents both the old and the new Edinburgh. History has it that a church has been standing at the site since 850 CE. Today it is an active parish church of the Church of Scotland.
     I love to walk about St. Cuthbert’s graveyard, reading the headstones and wondering, “Who were these people?” Over the years new sections have been added to the graveyard, providing extra intrigue and mystery.
     Yesterday as I was wandering about, I was distracted by a few garbage bag bundles left here and there; then when I looked around a low wall, I was startled to see scattered trash on the ground. Around another corners a man was coming out of tent.
     St. Cuthbert’s has been a sanctuary throughout the centuries and now it is one for homeless people!
     In such situations we are apt to ask, “Where is God?” But Krish Kandiah, in God is Stranger: Finding God in Unexpected Places, suggests we ask, “Who is God?” And so I ponder: Who is God for these homeless people? For the administrative staff of St. Cuthbert’s? For me, a tourist wandering through? (I refrain from taking pictures of homeless people.)

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Wanting a "God church"

6/9/2019

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     ​I attended the memorial service for a dear friend yesterday at the UU Church in town (the church we attended when raising our children). The service was one of the most heartfelt I have ever experience, and for that I am very grateful.
      Gratitude, good memories, and  sense of community, however, were not enough as I went out the door. I missed the mystery and the hope inherent in a Christian service. The absence of any God reference brought home, once again, why I had left that church to return to my roots in the UCC church that I can see from my upstairs window.
     When asked, I say that I left the UU church because I wanted a “God church”.  Amen.

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As Christians we....

6/1/2019

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A member of our church led the service and gave the sermon the other Sunday. He began by stating,  “As Christians we….” Those three words were my biggest takeaway because I have very few friends who acknowledge that out loud (and maybe to themselves). Even at church we (not the pastor) skirt around the topic of being a Christian.
     In this political climate those of us church goers in New England are afraid our Christianity will be judged with a conservative veneer; so we don’t say a word. In many circumstances we are probably wise to be cautious about proclaiming our faith, and yet, in being cautious and afraid we will be misunderstood, we may be diminishing our faith in our very own being. There are times when speaking out loud as a Christian is the right thing to do.

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