Category: Forgiveness

The Prodigal Son and God's forgiveness

3/29/2022

On Sunday I sat in my apartment overlooking the Duomo and attend morning Eucharist on line from SSJE www.ssje.org. Br. David preached on the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 13: 11-32). He talked about the choices we make, some good, some not so good. We all know the choices the younger son in the parable made; we know the choices his father made; we can understand why the older brother chose to be angry. We also understand the array of other choices each could have made.
God forgives. God welcomes us home from our wrong choices. God understands when we hold onto our anger. God will always be with us: Son you are always with me and all that is mine is yours (13:31b).

Forgive yourself

7/27/2020

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness these days. Not the big ones that involve national and worldwide retribution, nor even the acts against democracy that are occurring as I write. No, I’m thinking about the little acts of self- forgiveness that are part of being a Christian; those thoughts and judgments about others that hold me back from living my life for God.
    When I think disparagingly of another, I knock them off the pedestal and put myself on instead. Of course, neither of us belong there; God does. I know this; we all know this.
    What comes first to get forgiveness going? Remember God, or remember that judgments are about ME, not God? At the moment I notice that my judgments often lead me to God, which leads me to forgiveness.  Knowing God forgives me isn’t enough. I must do my part; God and I as partners, friends, co-creators.
   As I try to make sense of what I’ve written, I realize that this self-forgiveness is not a sequential process. I hope some you get some glimmer of understanding. Just writing this has helped me. Thanks.

Forgiveness and humility in pandemic times

5/19/2020

No better time to let go of unnecessary judgments than during this pandemic time. There are myriad opportunities to analyze what everyone is doing, and then disapprove because they are not acting the way I think they should. I’m not talking about appropriate actions to avoid catching or spreading the virus, but about how people are personally responding emotionally and psychologically.
     Yesterday, in talking with a friend, I blurted out a negative comment about a mutual friend. Immediately God appeared, reminding me that this is precisely what I have been praying to let go of in my life. Also, immediately, Jesus walked away from my presence. Throughout the rest of the day I prayed for understanding and healing, and it came in the form of God’s forgiveness; God forgives and in accepting that radical gift, I can ease closer and closer to forgiving myself.
    God had another gift for me: the gift of humility, a gift I sorely need. Humility is a simple gift. It is neither fancy nor complicated, but it is hard to grasp or accept. It is not a gift I always want. And so I lose it, or put it away for Sunday morning. To be humble is to know and believe that I am not in charge; that good I want to do I can only do by praying Thy will be done.
     I leave you with two scriptures that continue to lead me to forgiveness and humility.

Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same thing.
Romans 2: 1

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Roman 7:19-20

Forgiveness is from the heart

6/13/2017

     Lately I’ve been thinking about forgiveness, but I must admit nothing new has come to mind; just questions and feelings. Maybe forgiveness has no definitive definition or modus operandi; maybe it is found in the heart.
     Whenever I hear of a situation in which someone asks (insists) that someone apologize as a condition for forgiveness, I get confused. Who is to forgive whom? Does it matter who forgive first? Does the other person have to accept the forgiveness to legitimize the transaction? Is transaction the right word to us?Whew, I give up! Too much language, too much in my head.
     Here’s today’s simple thought. I can’t make someone else forgive; I’m only in charge of what I can forgive, which is contingent on what is in my heart. A place to start is to explore the likely possibility that I have to forgive myself. It might be something I have specifically done—that’s the easy part. Very likely it includes an attitude of judgment, superiority, pride, jealousy—you know the list. As Jesus tells us: take the log out of your own eye first.
     Then, maybe, but maybe not, say, “I forgive you; please forgive me,” and leave it at that!

Fruit of the spirit~

1/18/2016

Cousin John died yesterday. He was in his early 80s. My words that describe him are acceptance, forgiveness, and faithfulness, the fruits of the spirit given to him by God. Yes, he was an accepting, forgiving and faithful man.
Each of us has some signature word or words that describes our best selves. Maybe you know yours, maybe not, but your friends and family could probably tell you. My mom’s was gratitude.
Paul’s fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5 offers an excellent list for meditation; love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Which one resonates as true for you? Which one is your challenge? This is worth praying on, as a humble way of offering gratitude for our gifts, and acceptance, forgiveness and intercession for our failures.

Forgiveness~

2/12/2015

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness. We know how fundamental it is to Jesus’ message: God forgives, we must forgive, too. I notice that Jesus never says that my forgiveness is contingent on the other person giving me. That is his/her responsibility and personal relationship with God. All I must do is forgive myself for the part I have played, which usually involves ways I have judged, blamed, and envied.

The other day during a prayer program at church, we were led through an exercise to pray for an enemy. I was surprised that the person who came up as my enemy is someone who had never done me wrong. I had to forgive myself for projecting my inadequacies onto her.

How do I do forgive myself, or anyone else? As Jesus said, “This can only be done through prayer.”

Thank you, I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you~

12/8/2014

A new prayer grouping has formed in my prayer book: families members who are estranged from one another, mainly grown children from their parents, but it can happen the other way.

    We all have had times when we have been close to our parents, and times when we have needed distance. Children need to get away to become independent, to become adults, and we know that some parent/child relationship are closer than others. All of this is part of the normal human condition.

    But it is not normal for grown children to cut themselves off and disappear from their parents. It is certainly a deep heartache for the parents, and I have to assume that it is also so for the children who have chosen to isolate themselves.

    God knows there are reasons, and thus much to forgive. I pray that everyone can make the leap to forgiveness, for when families are cut off from each other, time, which can never be regained, runs out. Grandchildren grow up, grown children get older, parents can count a limited number of remaining years, and the call comes too late.

    Here is some universal wisdom for a peaceful end: thank you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, forgive me, I love you. But don’t wait until the end; don’t wait until it’s too late.

Forgive but not forget~

5/13/2014

Praying for the girls continues. This is huge for each one of them, huge for Nigeria, huge for Africa, huge for the world. And here I am working out a little tiny hurt that I received recently, working to forgive someone for what appeared to me to be insensitivity. What would it take these girls to forgive their abductors? I’d better get with the program of life and forgive; I don’t have to forget, but where’s the hope in the world if I can’t forgive.

Forgiveness again~

12/22/2013

Here is what I experienced about forgiveness the other day. I had made a negative/judgmental comment about someone. Not really bad but let me just say that it didn’t make it through ‘the three sieves’—Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?. Oh, it may have been true and it really wasn’t unkind, but it definitely wasn’t necessary. So what’s the big deal? I asked myself. Well, the big deal was that it didn’t sit right with me; I kept thinking about it; I couldn’t let it go.
As you know, I’m always trying to relieve the burdens and guilt that pop up in my life, and I’m always willing to try a new approach. So I decided to talk it through with God.. First I told the truth about it to myself. Then I confessed it all to God, and asked God’s forgiveness. Voila, the big deal lifted. It didn’t go away. I still think about it, not as guilt, but as a lesson learned.
Maybe I’m beginning to discern what “O Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” might mean, at least on a personal level.

Seasons of faith~

4/22/2013

I aware that catastrophic news events can detract from my prayer life. On one level I’m praying all the time, but on another I am distracted from my usual prayer and meditation routine. Maybe I need to remember that Christianity is a seasonal faith with the yearly church calendar of Advent and Christmas, Lent and Easter, and Ordinary Time, Our lives, and surely our prayer lives, reflect this in an arbitrary and seeming random fashion—anticipation, birth, suffering, little deaths, resurrections, and all those time when nothing much seems to be happening.

Last week I discovered how easy it is for me to let go of my usual prayer practice. As I forgive myself (once again), I want to recommit (once again) to the stability that the monastic tradition that passed on through the centuries. We are told to stay in our cell, for it is there that we will come to know all that we need to know. The Rule of St. Benedict tells us, “Listen carefully with the ear of your heart.” That calls for attention to the seasons of my faith.