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  A Prayer Diary

December retreat at SSJE

12/7/2022

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Tomorrow I’m off to Cambridge for a three night, four day silent retreat at the monastery of Saint John the Evangelist (SSJE).  Along with a room with a bed, desk and easy chair, the guest quarters include a communal kitchen where I can get breakfast and snacks throughout the day, public rooms for reading and mediating, and a lovely garden. Together with the other guests, I will join the brothers for  silent lunch and dinner, as well as attend the daily office (5 of them) with them. 
    Silent retreat, yes silent. None of the guests will expect to talk with me, nor I with them. Although SSJE is a Christian (Episcopal) order, there is no formal expectation that the guests be Christian. Most, like me, are trying to follow Jesus; everyone is trying to love. After all, if I were not wanting and trying to be loving, why would ever sign up for four days of silence?

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SSJE Covid closing

7/18/2022

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The worship services and the guesthouse at the SSJE Monastery in Cambridge, MA is again closed to the public. Two brothers and a guest tested positive for Covid. Hopefully this will be a short term ruling; hospitality is one of the callings of the society. SSJE is not an inclosed group of monks, but a group of men who are called to do God’s work out in the world, which implies being in community with others. 
    Maybe that’s why I feel so drawn to SSJE. It gives me a model of how I might live my life. I can learn from their daily routine of worship, which is their foundation in preparing to help others in myriad ways—by praying, listening, speaking, helping, teaching. Notice those general words—something is there for everyone. 
     The good news is that worship services will continued to be live- streamed. August, however,  is ‘an away time’ for the brothers, but I can listen to past services, and, of course I can create my own.

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SSJE Retreat

6/20/2022

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On Thursday I will be on retreat for three nights at SSJE (Society of St. John the Evangelist), a monastic community affiliated with the Episcopal Church, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. 


We are a community of men giving our whole selves over to living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Rooted in the ancient monastic traditions of prayer and community life, and critically engaged with contemporary culture, we seek to know and share an authentic experience of God’s love and mercy. We live a common life shaped by worship, prayer, and our Rule of Life.


    I will stay in a room in their guest house, eat meals in silence with the brothers, and attended the daily office with them. That’s all I know. I assume I will spend time in silence, praying reading, walking, and sitting in the guest garden along the Charles River. That’s what I assume. I have nothing planned other than that.

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Worshipping in person at SSJE

4/25/2022

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On Sunday I worshipped in the chapel of the Society of Saint John the Evangelist (www.ssje.org) in Cambridge. Worshipping in person, eye to eye, even with masks coving the rest of our faces, always take me to a deeper place with God. The communal love of God becomes transparent. 
    After the intensity and excitement of Holy Week services, this Second Sunday in Easter service was calm, routine, and welcoming. Although church ritual and creeds were present, the service was about each of us coming to faith—personal, no fanfare, no hierarchy The brothers were present, and except for a few, were sitting amongst us, worshipping among us. It made me smile to think that very likely they were grateful for that. 
    Brother Geoffrey was presider and preacher, a role he knows well. This day he was especially relaxed and comfortable. He preached on John 20: 19-31, about Thomas coming to faith. Yes, coming to faith was the theme of the sermon, a theme that Br. Geoffrey often mentions. Coming to faith does not come from the mind, but from God when we open our heart to God. 
     I know that I can’t make myself come to faith, even as much as I try or wish. But how to let go of that? I don’t know how, but I know that it happened. I feel free.

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Prayer and Service

8/3/2021

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 The Society of Saint John the Evangelist in Cambridge, MA will be closed for the month of August. The brothers do this every year so they can have some personal retreat time, visit family, and gather together to make plans for the coming year. Because of their new/pandemic initiated ministry of live-streaming their services, they especially need the time to regroup individually and collectively and to step out of the limelight. 
    I will miss attending the in-person Sunday services and social hour in the cloister that follows, which began in June. Chatting with the brothers has opened up examples of ways we lay people can create a monastic life for ourselves. These monks are not ‘cloistered’; they live a social life out in the world. They are called to prayer and service.  
     The call to prayer and service! Isn’t that what all God’s children are called to do? I believe yes; I certainly can’t offer any reason to refute it. One of my challenges is to remember the call to prayer and service in the midst of all the ego stuff I want to accomplish. The brothers are the first to admit that ego stuff gets in their way all the time, and that they have each other to call them to account. That’s no excuse for me—if I only lived in a religious community I’d be without all those living problems! We learn in whatever community we live in. My family, friends and church community is a wonderful place to learn it all.

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More prayer questions

5/18/2021

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     I have been praying with Br. Keith Nelson’s (SSJE) April 24, 2016 sermon,  “Marks of Love (Where Nails Have Been): Reflecting on the Third Mark of Mission. Br. Keith quotes the SSJE Rule of Life: Our intercession does not call down the divine presence to come to the place where we have seen a need, for Christ who fills all thing is already in that place. It is his Spirit who calls us to join him there by offering our love in intercessory prayer and action, to be used by God for healing and transformation.
      As I’ve mentioned previously, intercession is at the core of my Christian practice because I know and have come to believe that God has called me to be an intercessor, or to use a more colloquial phrase, ‘to pray for people.’
       Here are a few of the questions that Br. Keith’s message brought up to me: 1) If Jesus is already in the place of need, then for who  or what am I praying for? 2) What place does my prayer play other than making me feel good? 3) Does this mean that through prayer we become co-creators with God?  It’s about control. Mine? God’s? God and me healing and transforming together?

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