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  A Prayer Diary

Convent of San Marco

10/30/2015

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The Convent of San Marco is one of my favorite spiritual places, not only in Florence but in all my travels. If I were a privileged nun I would pick the cell with Fra Angelico’s fresco of Jesus and Mary Magellan in the garden outside the tomb. According to John’s gospel, Jesus is telling Mary not to touch him because “I have not yet risen.” We know that the Holy Spirit has not yet been given. This mystery gives hope to all of us that Jesus’ saving message is not only for those who knew him in Palestine, but for future generations throughout the world--including you, including me.
Every time I visit San Marco I take pictures of every fresco in every room, keeping their beauty and message alive for me in new ways. Today I have selected some to tell Jesus’ story, from Annunciation to Resurrection. I have included the cell windows in the hope that you will enter and feel the Holy Spirit.


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Madonna and Child at the Uffizi

10/28/2015

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I took sixty pictures of the Madonna and Child at the Uffizi this morning, and I know I didn’t get them all. Here are a few, more or less in chronological order, starting with the ones by Duccio, Cimabue and Giotto, painted around the end of the thirteenth century, and ending with one painted in the seventeenth century.
Although the interpretations move from religious to secular, in all the paintings I am aware of the impersonal and distant relationship between Mary and Jesus. For me, this is not a message of mother love but of the sacrifice of Mary as the mother of God, and the foreshadowing of Jesus’ death on the cross.


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St. Thomas and Jesus at Orsanmichele~

10/26/2015

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This morning I visited the Church of Orsanmichele. The second floor, which is only open Monday mornings, displays the originals of the statues in the niches on the exterior of the building. The building has beautiful statues and incredible view of the Duomo.
Today I was attracted to the bronze statue of Jesus and St. Thomas by Verocchio. Doubting Thomas, as we often refer to him, speaks to me, as I’m sure he does to many. We doubt this miracle of Jesus, God with us. We want proof. In this statue Thomas’ reluctance to touch is not unlike my reluctance to believe. I am willing to try from afar, but not up close. Give me some distance, please. Jesus understands this and seems to be waiting and allowing Thomas to move his hand just as close as is comfortable. This waiting with love is there for us as we dare believe with full hearts.
(A disclaimer: I have chosen not to take the time to offer histories of the places I visit, nor to identify the works of art and the creators. The internet is at your fingertips.)


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My prayer church in Florence~

10/25/2015

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I’ve found my prayer church for my time here in Florence. Santi Apostoli, Piazza del Limo, tucked in along the Arno, was built in the 11th century and has kept its Romanesque style. It is small and intimate, just right for prayer.
I have visited the church many times, but for the past few years its opening hours were sporadic. This time I’ve noticed a renewed activity, including a Mass in English on Sundays.


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Gratitude replaces negativity~

10/24/2015

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Here’s a little spiritual practice that I have started while in Florence. Whenever I think a negative, judgmental, cynical thought, I stop and shift to a gratitude. For example, yesterday I passed a store displaying a leather golf bag, with a sign that said in English, “Do not touch!” Negative thoughts—“Who would want such a bag that is too expensive and too heavy to carry around the golf course? People are trying to buy happiness.”
“Stop. Thank you, God, that I can afford to be here in this beautiful city.”
It is an huge challenge to erase thoughts that continually float into my consciousness. I keep forgetting but, as the saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”I keep trying because I believe that they are toxic to prayer, not to mention that they prevent me from loving my neighbor as myself.


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Walking around with God in Florence~

10/21/2015

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I am at the Philly airport, on my way to Florence, via Rome, for two weeks. When people ask me what I'm going to do there, again (you go there all the time), I say that I'm just going to walk around with God. I can’t believe that I'm bold enough to blurt that out, but I am, more and more, and guess what? People don't see to bat an eyelash. Maybe they know me, maybe they long to do the same, maybe they are too self-involved to care.

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Fall foliage, praise God~

10/15/2015

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Another post on my cottagebythesea blog, and then a few added comments.
 
“It’s beautiful.” Make the comment about fall foliage in New England and everyone agrees. Have you ever found someone who didn’t? I bet not. During my walks this past week I’ve been thinking about beauty and the idea that there is universal agreement that sun on the turning leaves is beautiful. 100%. Nobody neutral. There are other: sunrises and sunsets; sun on mountains. All from nature, all with sun. All exuding silence, solitude and simplicity.
Undisputed beauty generates from beyond the senses, beyond what my eyes see and what my mind can choose. It comes from deep inside where God (Truth, Soul, the Ineffable, our core, our essence, the Holy) is. Call it what you will, that place and part of us beyond the senses and intellect where the Good resides.
 
The universal beauty is from God. God’s creation without human meddling or fixing up. God’s creation is beyond judgment. “Be still and know that I am God.” Start with praise for God’s creation. Fall foliage reminds us to do just that. So do sunrises, which is maybe why I have over one thousand beautiful, unique sunrises on my computer and why I miss the cottage by the sea.
One more thought: sun…son..light…Jesus: I am the Light of the world.


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Joan Chittister on prayer~

10/12/2015

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Why pray?

The function of prayer is not to obliviate the self. It is to become the utmost of what we are meant to be no matter what situation we are in. Prayer is the process that leads us to become what Jesus models for us to be.
 
We watch Jesus confront the leaders of the day. He calls the priests and Pharisees to cleanse the temple and lift from the backs of the people the laws of the synagogue that burden them. He calls the leaders of the state to stop living off the backs of the poor. And he calls us to do the same.
 
We listen to Jesus jeopardize his social approval, risk his very life by speaking out in public against the oppression of people in both synagogue and state. And he calls us to do the same.
 
Being immersed in prayer, really immersed in prayer, sears our souls. It forces us to see how far from our own ideals we stand. It challenges the images of goodness and piety and integrity we project. It confronts us with what it really means to live a good life. It requires courage of us rather than simply piety.
 
It is in following Jesus down from the mountaintop, along the roads of the world, through the public parts of the city, into the ghettoes of the poor and the halls of government and the chanceries of the churches, saying with John the Baptist, “Repent and sin no more,” that prayer gets its hallmark of undisputed credibility.
 
—from The Breath of the Soul: Reflections on Prayer by Joan Chittister (Twenty-Third Publications)
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Passing away to a better place~

10/3/2015

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Here is today’s cottage-by-the-sea blog.
 
Four years ago my mom took her final breath, died, passed away. There are myriad ways of saying it. Died feels final and clinical; final breathe softens it. For me, however, passing away feels more like what my mom did, but I want to add ‘to a better place’, whatever that means? I don’t know, no one knows, but many of us believe that something beyond this earthly exist, and that it is good. Christianity declares it, and those of other faiths, as well as agnostics and atheists, have a sense that death is not final. For many believing that death is a big black hole is too frightening. For everyone, there are the memories.
 
As a Christian I want to add that I definitely believe that physical death is not the end. I have no idea what this means or what it is like, other than to say that it is of the spirit, not of the mind/body. Afterlife is not for the living to know, understand or experience. Having hope and faith is enough. It is the peace of God that passes all understanding.

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Dialog with Jesus~

10/2/2015

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Sometimes I feel extremely vulnerable writing this blog. Do I want to share how desperately (Yes, I chose that word carefully) I long for, pray for, and try to create intimacy with God? Intimacy and vulnerability. If I don’t admit to that, I will never write honestly. And yet, I seem called to be called to do just that, with the hope that a reader will create his/her intimacy and vulnerability with God. So here I go.
 
I have a little notebook in which I write down dialogs I have with Jesus. This is what I wrote today. M=me; J=Jesus
 
M:I just sat here and felt close to you; I wanted to say; I teared up. Writing you keeps the feeling going and keeps me close; keeps us close.
J:Stay there, stay here, stay with me.
M:My call is to pray, to be with you, to be. Is that enough?
J:Yes, it is enough?
M:But then I need to go out and be with others, to listen. Is that enough?
J:Yes, enough.
 
I try not to think about what I’m writing. Out come the words, mine and Jesus’. Jesus never says much; just a few words.


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