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You Do Not Answer, by   Mary Luti

7/31/2013

Mary Luti posted this today on Stillspeaking Devotional dailydevotional@ucc.org. So powerful, so thought-provoking. Too powerful? Too thought-provoking? It leads me to a new level of faith where I may not want to go.

You Do Not Answer, by  Mary Luti  
"Why have you forsaken me? I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest." - Psalm 22  Sometimes we think that if we work hard at our spiritual practices we are bound to experience God, to feel God within us. But not everyone feels God, no matter how hard they try or how much they want to. Many know only the ache of absence. The truth is that God is often silent, dark, and distant — so much so that it can be painful to be around people for whom God is cheerful, close, and chatty. There's an old slogan that says, 'If God feels far away, guess who moved?' You're supposed to answer, 'Not God.' But whoever thought that up never read the psalms. Jesus, who probably loved saying "Surely goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life" as much as we do, didn't pray Psalm 23 on the cross. He prayed Psalm 22: "I cry to you, but you do not answer. "You know this, but hear it again: the Christian life isn't about feeling feelings or acquiring spiritual experiences. Baptism ushers us into a life of greater depth than that — a life of faith. And faith is almost always a journey through the desert and the dark. If Deus absconditus is your God, you are not a second-class Christian. You have a gift. A hard one, but a gift all the same. Your heartache — faith's heartache — can lead you straight to the heartache of others, to neighbors whose abandonment is human, not divine. With them you can keep company. With them, mourn. With them, persevering, wait out the darkness 'till the Coming Day. Was there really anything else you wanted when once upon a time you said yes to a fierce and mysterious God? 

"Prayer: Hidden One, they say you are still speaking, and even if it isn't to me right now, give me faith to trust that you are as real as the poor, as close as the suffering, as audible as the cry of the abandoned; and let me find you there."

About the Author Mary Luti is Visiting Professor of Worship and Preaching at Andover Newton Theological School.

'Thanks much!'

7/28/2013

Most Sundays I pick up Olive at her assisted living residence and give her a ride to church. If you ever have the opportunity to help somebody out in this way, please give it a try. It’s definitely one of those ‘you get more than you give’ situations. I hear her life stories, over and over again, and I hear her thank me for the ride, over and over again. ‘This has been my church for so long; I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t go every week. Thanks much.’ Olive may forget some of the details, but not the general feeling of well-being that going to church reinforces in her every Sunday.

Sometimes Roger comes along. He is Roman Catholic, but as he says, “God is God.” Today he had another plan, but when I told him we’d pray for him, he answered in his jovial way, “ Good, I can always use prayers.’

Gift of solitude~

7/25/2013

This morning as I read this meditation on solitude by Henri Nouwen, it occurred to me that I often treat solitude as a goal, and end in itself, not as a gift that leads to a greater purpose beyond me.

In solitude we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us. In solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared. It’s there we recognize that the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we can express is part of a greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be received.

Doing the right thing~

7/23/2013

On Sunday I led worship at church. I planned most of the order of service from the Iona Abbey Worship Book; my meditation, both to the children and to the adults, was in the form of stories from my experiences on Iona. I had one message: listening to God’s voice.

I rarely hear God’s voice in words. In fact, how limiting that would be. I hear it in the waiting. When faced with a problem, I ask God what I should do… I wait… and then in God’s good time, I hear the right thing to do. I don’t hear words, but more like a knowing. How do I know? Immediately I relax about the issue and stop thinking/worrying/perseverating about it; and then I act upon what God has told me is the right thing to do.

At the end of Sunday’s service, the mother of two young children told me that doing the right thing was what she had been talking with her children about. Um, it seems that the most profound messages we hear from God are same messages children can here. Didn’t Jesus tell us to be like little children?

Knitting on track again~

7/19/2013

I continually get off track with this prayer call of mine. Lately it had to do with knitting. Without realizing it, my mind started planning all kinds of items that I would knit using all kinds of intriguing stitches. I started reading knitting books (right now I have eight library books) and marking patterns I like; I started going on line to check out various yarns and yarn shops. I was having fun, but of course I was making no progress on my two prayer shawls.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Nothing I was doing was bad, and I’m all for having this kind of fun. But something didn’t feel right; I was straying from God’s call, and it was God who was calling me back. Knit prayer shawls, learn new stitches, discover new yarns, but pray prayer shawls.

I picked up the needles and began.

Iona Healing Prayer~

7/18/2013

Spirit of the living God present with us now,
Enter you, body, mind and spirit,
And heal you of all that harms you,
In Jesus’ name, Amen

This was my prayer for people today while I was on my walk. I’ve written about this prayer from Iona worship before and undoubtedly I’ll do so again because it seems like just the right prayer for so many situations.

Today I was praying for people who are not feeling good about themselves--in the low self-esteem category. I can’t see it; from my perspective they are kind, talented, caring—all of that—but they don’t feel worthy; all they can see are their flaws. All of this harms them, so I am praying that they heal body, mind and spirit. I know deep in my heart that that is what God wants.

Boston strong, still coming together~

7/15/2013

I want to say something about prayer but I don’t know what it might be. I just got home from Boston, and am feeling especially serene. My granddaughter and I wandered about the Granary and King’s Chapel burying grounds, and then had lunch at Quincy Market, which included friend dough for dessert. The entire trip was serene. From T ride to T ride there was space between people and yet everyone seems to be bonding in a miraculous way. We were ONE.

After the Boston bombing, as might be expected, people came together. But, amazingly, they haven’t left each other. We are strong; by we. I mean everyone who comes to Boston, visitor and local. My prayerful thought is that everyone I passed on the street is feeling this too.

Do a kind deed every day~

7/13/2013

The other day the Upper Room monthly devotional, I read about a man who made a promise to himself and to God to give something away ever day. Well, it got late and he hadn’t followed through for that day, so he called a friend, woke him up, and proceed to read him a poem that expressed his friendship.

Then there is the Mormon tenet, “Do a kind deed every day and don’t tell anyone about it.” My dad loved that one.

I like the daily routine idea of doing for others. Giving something away can be either public or private, tangible or in tangible. The Mormon daily deed is a secret between me and God. For me this is the hardest, because I like to receive credit. Ah, a lesson in humility.

Comfort food to open the heart~

7/12/2013

A little comfort food to open the heart.

Why do I get in such a tizzy about little annoyances I feel from other people? My problem, not theirs! What about the friend who sometimes interrupts me? Why don’t I politely say, “Please, just let me finish?” Why don’t I dwell on all her good points and let the annoyances go? How about praying for God to open my heart, and leave it at that?

That my mental ramble of a prayer for today. Thanks for listening.

Living in hope~

7/10/2013

Tomorrow’s daily quote: “We are not perfectly free until we live in pure hope.”

     Every day I read, Through the Year with Thomas Merton: Daily Meditations from His Writings, and every day I restrain myself from quoting Merton again. This book was published in 1983, so of course it’s out of print. But, acting in pure hope, I checked AbeBooks.com and Amazon and yes, it’s available.

     This July 9th quote spoke out to me. I really want to say that it shouted out to me, but that isn’t quite the image. No, it’s more like it glowed into me. I’m reminded of Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hope is no naïve way of being; rather it is part of faith. When I hope through faith I am praying and when I am praying I feel free, free of my petty desires, free to trust in God.

     Um, what I just wrote isn’t as easy as it sounds. My faith often gets shaky and I continually fall down, but hope assures me to keep searching for things not seen, things such as peace, love, God.