Blog Archives

The majestic storm~

10/30/2012

O Lord our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth (Psalm 8.1).

I read this as I prepared for Hurricane Sandy. Of course all the talk on TV is about preparation, about keeping our fear at bay. Now, I understanding that public officials and the media have to keep us prepared for the worst. Perhaps it is their way of keeping us safe. In their world they can’t talk about the majesty of nature.

However, as I venture into the mystery of faith, I realize that it is through God’s on-going creation of land, sea and sky, moon and sun, and night and day that I have the best chance of being humble.

Praying with Izzie~

10/28/2012

The original plan was that Izzie would be going home today; but no, she staying another week. This means that I’ll have to continuing to work around her early morning visits to the Angel Room. I’m trying my best to spend my first fifteen minutes in meditation before beginning my usual morning routine in the AR. This means NO coffee, which is a challenge in and of itself--although sitting in the silence, breathing in and out, is a bigger one. My mind wants to plan the day, etc., etc., etc.

I’m finding this early meditation practice stops me from jumpstarting into a day that gets filled with ‘to dos’ and selfish desires. (Not that that doesn’t happen.) It’s hard work to stick with the practice, and as long as I have Izzie to distract me, I have a living excuse. On the other hand, over the past few years I’ve been ‘saying’ the Jesus Prayer: “Jesus Christ have mercy on me.” And so, even as Izzie stalks across my lap, this prayer serves me in these wee small hours.

BTW, I love Izzie and don’t mind that her vacation has been lengthened.

Meditating with a cat~

10/25/2012

It’s not easy keeping my attention on the present moment. When I meditate, I try, “Breathe in, breathe out.” Of course I forget all the time, and instead, menus get planned, books critiqued, and visits considered. Alas, nothing gets accomplished. When I walk, I do better: “Thank you God for your gift of fall foliage.” Offering gratitude is always an accomplishment.

As challenging as this all is, trying to stay in the present is a worthwhile endeavor. I’m finding that some of the stress I feel about little things that I should/could do is losing it potency. All I have is NOW, and usually that’s pretty good.

There’s a humorous side to all of this. We are catsitting for the week and believe me, this wonderful, affectionate cat is keeping me in the present. In she comes, interrupting my prayer time. The operative NOW is “scratch my chin” not “breathe-in, breathe-out.”

Centering prayer again~

10/22/2012

by Hans Memling

I’ve returned to meditation, or as Christians are apt to call it, centering prayer. Recently I had been praying for the answer to something in my life. Although I believe that prayer can take the form of chatting with God, it seemed that I was overdoing this chatting—going over and over and over and over the situation. Too much analysis; too much obsession with the problem; too much anxiety about finding an answer. No wonder I wasn’t hearing God; there was no space for listening. So I decided to stop thinking about the problem, stop all the chatter that had turned into a conversation with myself, not with God. Instead I sat in the quiet, feeling my breath, and letting go of thoughts.

The answer came, God’s answer—always so simple. Isn’t that the way it is with God?

A good day for faith~

10/19/2012

Four days since I posted. Today it is raining, and as I’ve discovered over the years, dreary days can be especially poignant. In the loneliness of a gray sky, God appears without mask or disguise. God speaks with honesty and clarity. Any truth about ourselves is right on center stage; we know that God knows what it is all about it.

On days like this we can’t dismiss or avoid Jesus’ suffering, and so we feel our own as well. Relief can only come from helping someone else. This is a good day for faith.

Choosing words carefully~

10/15/2012

I haven’t been neglecting my prayer diary, although I’ve been a little lax about posting. I wrote a piece about the gas attendant, who a couple of days ago told me, “Watch your step; if you fall, you will be dead in an instant.” I was planning to post it here, until I figured that it fit better on my acottagebythesea.net blog.

     But here, where I talk as a person of prayer and faith, I want to respond some more to that comment. Whoa, just think about it! Telling someone they will be struck down dead by a little missed step, a little mistake, taking a little miss. I am reminded of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. They held back some of their money, and were struck dead. I’ve always felt that penalty was a little harsh. Slipping off a curb definitely isn’t in the same category.

      Regarding the comment itself, I don’t believe that it had any intrinsic power nor was it a sign of the future evens; I never felt in any danger of falling. But it’s negativity did pull me up short, changing my mood for a moment, until I looked around in gratitude at God’s autumn wonder.

     On a personal learning level, the situation reminded me to be careful with my own words; to be full of care for the person receiving them. It’s something to pray about, for I am aware that at times my comments are more blunt than a situation warrants. Maybe I can say that the attendant showed me the log in my own eye.

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Matthew 7.3

The Reader~

10/10/2012

I participate in a book group at the Episcopal church in town. Members choose the books; this month’s selection was “The Reader” by Bernhard Schlink (Kate Winslett won the Academy Award for best actress in the film in 2009). The story is about a man growing up in post-war Germany and living in the aftermath of the German atrocities toward the Jews. Our discussion was lively and nuanced; we all agreed that the story would remain with us in the days to come—that we hadn’t finished thinking about it.

How true, how true! This morning if occurred to me that to the best of my recollection God was not mentioned in the book, nor was there any reference to anything remotely religious or spiritual. In the story God was non-existent. And what’s more, God was not mentioned in our discussion. Um, that is really worth pondering.

Fruit of the spirit~

10/8/2012

For the past few days I have been pondering the fruit of the Spirit as listed in Paul’s letter to the Colossians: “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience” 3.12.

I’ve been socialized to show compassion, kindness and patience, and on a superficial level I can pull it off quite successfully. Like all of you, I’m a nice person. So, what I’m working on is not what I show on the outside but what I feel on the inside, where I can easily judge, resent or feel impatient. These negative attitudes just appear; I don’t want them, but there they are. How can I get rid of them? How can I change them from rotten fruit to fresh Fruit? I’m sure the answer is prayer. It always is. Prayer for the Holy Spirit to fill me with a compassionate, kind and patient heart..

I don’t mean to avoid meekness and humility, both huge challenges for me. After all, I’ve been socialized to stick up for myself and show confidence. Obviously I need prayer for that, too. Lots and lots of prayer. It’s up to me. I have a sense that I have to meet the Holy Spirit half way. Something like that. I’ll pray on it.

Forgiving yourself, again and again~

10/6/2012

I’m thinking about forgiveness again, a topic that I figure will come up from time to time for the rest of my life. After all, it appears in all faith traditions, and is central to Christianity. Why would I be exempt?

Here’s my latest vignette, which, as I write, seems so foolish and trivial. But hurt feelings are hurt feelings, and I was feeling hurt. In summary, I was hurt that someone didn’t responded to an email I sent, and so I started making up bad reasons why they didn’t. Their bad, of course.

“But wait a minute,” I told myself. “Stop making all that up; stop blaming. Talk to the person, or let it go. But whatever you do, forgive yourself for not looking and seeing through a God lens.

Feast Day of St. Francis

10/4/2012

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.