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  A Prayer Diary

I did not go blind!

9/9/2023

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     A long time without a post. Here's why.
    On  August 1st I went to my primary care physician because I was waking up with terrible headaches. I left with several appointments on my calendar  for different tests and a tentative diagnosis of Giant Cell Frontal Arteritis. With confirmation three days later I begin taking 60mg per day of prednisone (thankfully now reduced to 20mg) and acquired a rheumatologist. The good news is that it was diagnosed and treated quickly: I DID NOT GO BLIND!
     I could write a book of all the prayerful thoughts and blessings that this condition is offering me. Although the prednisone  jags me up, and give me four or five hours of sleep of night, seven on a good night, I remain positive, full of productive energy, and not fearful of the future.  
     There is much to learn, to gain, and to benefit from it all. Here is the first God message I wrote in my journal:
     I am not in the supreme controller of my life. God is and waits for me to submit to co-control with Him. 

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Soul-life, by Richard Jefferies

8/19/2023

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I want more ideas of the soul-life. I am certain that there are more yet to be found. A great life--an entire civilization--lies just outside the pale of common thought…A nexus of ideas exists of which noting is know…a cosmos of thought. There is an Entity, a Soul-Entity, as yet recognize;…it is in addition to the existence of the soul; in addition to immortality; and beyond the idea of the deity…There is so much beyond all that has ever yet been imagined.
The Story of My Heart, Richard Jefferies
(quoted in The Mystic Vision, compiled by Andrew Harvey and Anne Baring)

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Praying as a human

8/16/2023

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 A friend shared with me how she prays with particularity for everyone on her prayer list. Healing, peace during a difficult situation, the gift to answer God's special call, to 'let go and let God'--what they ask for or what she hears God leading her to pray. 
     I am trying it, trying to be more expansive and personal, and if feels right. My tendency is to pray Thy will be done and leave it at that. That may be the ultimate prayer, but God can handle more intimacy, more humanity, more transparency from us humans. Jesus was both human and divine. I am mostly human, why not offer human prayers? "Hey God, help, do something, heal my friend, heal me." 

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Called to pray for people

8/6/2023

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We have many ways to pray for people--lift up their names….tell God exactly what we want God to do … and everything in between. Theologically this is called intercessory prayer, but the term feels too formal, too impersonal, too privileged, too…. 
    For me to say, "I am called to be an intercessor," sounds highfalutin--a call that suggests vain glory, not a God call which, by its very nature is humbling and replete with mercy. 
    Occasionally I tell people, "I feel called to pray for people." But not often because the call is in the doing between God and me, not in any proclamation to the world. It is not a job, such as teaching . It is between God and me, and sometimes I feel called to let people know I am doing it. Fine, but that's not part of the call. 

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Cleaning the AR (Angel Room)

7/25/2023

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 I've started cleaning the AR (Angel Room). Really, started! After many mornings of putting it on my 'to do' list but never lifting a little angel or a book, today I've dusted and rearranged a couple of shelves, at least to feel enough success that I can stop for the day. Sometimes I wish I could channel by older sister who cleans all the time. I'm serious. Of course she doesn't have all the little sitters that I have. She never accumulated any, so there are none to get rid of. 
     My little stacks of books on the shelves are some of the many I have. These are primarily devotional readers, which I can read and ponder, a page or section at a time, rather keep the continuity going as with a book. 

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Hey God, help them out...

7/24/2023

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This in the today's reading in The Daily Word: 
When I pray for others, I look beyond the challenges they face and focus instead on the truth of their being. 
    I resonate with this, and when I read it this morning, I thought, "Yes, that's the way to pray." And it is, but if that becomes my main/only guide, then I will lose some of the compassion that is part of the prayer that one human being offers to another, especially someone we know well. 
    I pray for friends who need specific help and relief. I can pray Thy will be done,  and I will. But I'm also going to pray, Hey God, help them out of this terrible situation. ​

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Saint Fin Barre's Cathedral, Cork. Ireland

7/17/2023

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Saint Fin Barre's Cathedral in Cork. Ireland, sitting  on the site of a 7th century monastery, was concentrated in 1870. 
The cathedral was designed by William Burges, an avid follower of thirteenth century French Gothic architecture. He designed every part of the building including the stained glass windows and  1, 260 pieces of sculpture. The cathedral has a wealth of detail, symbolism and high quality design. 

Today the cathedral is a living community of liturgy and prayer, enriched by a centuries-old choral tradition. 

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Corcomroe Abbey; God is still there

7/14/2023

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Two beautiful days in Ireland. Perfect for visiting abbeys. They say they are ruins, and  yes, in the usual definition, they are--no  monks following the daily office of prayer, work, and study. But I love wandering about and getting a sense of peace and monastic purpose. God is still there. 
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Give it forward

7/9/2023

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Ann Voskamp, in The Broken Way: A Daring Path into the Abundant :Life, suggests we consider the phrase, "give it forward," instead of "pay it forward." Give instead of pay! I like that little change because pay suggests that money is involved, that goods need to be exchanged, and that I can only play this marvelous game if I have cash or things. But more that that, pay it forward implies that I expect something in return. 
     Giving, on the other hand, opens up a panoply of opportunities, services, and simple gestures such as smiles. But more than that, give it forward, opens up my heart.  

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Letting in God's light

6/27/2023

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As you may know, I commit the first hour of each day praying for people, followed by reading scripture and spiritual works, and ending by writing seven gratitudes in my gratitude book. That's pretty much how my early morning goes--letting in God's light. I do not open my computer to check on the news or respond to emails. 
        My day starts with a clean slate, not my slate  (my will be done), but God's slate (thy will be done), which is always clean unless I get in there to dirty it up or try to clean it up myself. 
    As I write this, two men from SSC Window Cleaning are cleaning our sunroom windows. They have committed two hours of their morning to letting in God's light. I do not open my mouth with any suggestions, but gratitude for their work will be noted tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, The Brownie Fairy will thank them when they leave.  

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