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Faith is a mystery

1/23/2021

I want to keep this prayer diary going, but it is a challenge because so much of my faith (anyone’s faith) is impossible to put into words. Yes, in the beginning was the word, but I have a sense that that word was a thought, a feeling, something more in tune with the Holy Spirit than with any kind of theology written down.
And yet, I know, at least from my own experience, that hearing someone else try to describe their faith keeps us going to fulfill this deep longing to believe something beyond what our minds can come up with.
And so, I persevere by sharing whatever comes through my spirit as my fingers touch the computer keys. Stream of consciousness. Faith is a mystery so I might as well stay in it.
(I’m going to reread what I’ve just written, and if it makes any kind of sense, I’ll push the send button.)

Letting my little light shine

1/17/2021

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.
Psalm 130:3-4

Hmm, is the psalmist telling me that if I don’t forgive, my iniquities could stand? There are many ways to interpret this complex verse, but today, that’s how I’m going to interpret it. I have to forgive. Not forget, but forgive.
What does that look like for me right now as I see all those videos of violence at the U.S, Capitol? It means to pray for everyone involved, the perpetrators and the victims. Pray that their hearts will open to lead them to love, compassion, and courage to do the right thing.
Sometimes it is hard to lift everyone up to the light. I mean, do they deserve it? Will they benefit in ways I consider appropriate? But if I don’t, then my little light will go out. We’re all in this together. I’d better starting singing, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,” and let everyone join the chorus.

Epiphanies are ongoing

1/7/2021

Epiphany
Google search: Epiphany is a Christian holiday primarily commemorating the Magi's visit to the baby Jesus and the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist. Eastern traditions, which usually call the holiday Theophany, focus on Jesus' baptism, seen as the manifestation of Christ as both fully human and fully divine.

Cambridge Dictionary: a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of, something that is very important to you.

Yesterday, January 6, Christians celebrated Epiphany. I was reminded of the many epiphanies that have come along on my faith journey—those times when I suddenly become conscious of something that is very important to my faith. Some of these epiphanies faded away soon after they appeared. Others kept returning, indicating that they were not personal whims or wishes, but messages from God. One continues to be persistent calls from God. God’s call for me to pray for people has been a longstanding one.
Now another keeps coming. “Live your life for Jesus.” I’m not sure I have the wording quite right, but I’m working on it. Or, shall I say that God is working on it. Let me say that the idea keeps me hopeful and purposeful. A more encompassing reason for helping out, for being of service.

Thomas Merton Prayer

1/4/2021

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton

The annunciation is still going on

12/17/2020

Filippino Lippi

Paintings of the Annunciation are my favorites. In Florence, there is one at every turn.
    What’s going on here with Mary? In some painting she seems to be saying---wait a minute, not me; not now, not yet. In others she seems to acquiesce, sometimes reluctantly, other times with joy. Whatever we might be feeling about God’s call, we can find a companion in Mary.
    We might not like the what God is calling us to do or be, but too bad; God will persist; God will win.
    If we don’t want to believe God is calling us, we might as well let that go, too. God is calling us whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not. As Christians, that what we’ve signed up for.
   But fear not, all will be well. It won’t be easy or without suffering, but we will be redeemed. Like Mary, we will might as well say, “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38).

Celebrating in Florence the Feast of the Immaculate Conception

12/7/2020

From my apartment window

Tomorrow is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, which celebrates Mary’s conception. It’s an orthodox holiday, certainly not one observed in my United Church of Christ calendar. That being said, I love the holiday because for three years running, 2016-18 I watched it celebrated in Florence. Everyone was out in the street for the 5 PM lighting of the Christmas tree in front of the Duomo, Santa Marie dei Fiori. One year I watched from the apartment I rented right on the on the piazza.
(The Immaculate Conception is a dogma of the Catholic Church which states that the Virgin Mary was free of original sin from the moment of her conception. Wikapedia).

Oliver Herford

12/2/2020

Betsy Thompson

I heard a bird sing
   In the dark of December
A magical thing
   And sweet to remember.
“We are nearer to Spring
   Than we were in September,”
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December

by Oliver Herford

Thanksgiving from Sr. Vassa

11/26/2020

“Then as he entered a certain village, there met him ten men who were lepers, who stood afar off. And they lifted up their voices and said, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!’ So when he saw them, he said to them, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And so it was that as they went, they were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. So Jesus answered and said, ‘Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?’ And he said to him, ‘Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.’” (Lk 17: 12-19)

This Thanksgiving, when we all have learned how it feels to be “lepers,” who must “stand afar off” from one another, the above-quoted passage about a healed “leper” giving thanks to the Lord speaks to me in a new way. Because I’m alive and well amidst a global pandemic, I feel like a healed leper with a choice: I can either be grateful and give thanks to the Lord, or I can do the opposite.

This 2020 I choose to be grateful for myself and anyone reading this: 1. For being alive; 2. For the medical professionals who care for the sick and dying amongst us at this time; 3. For the scientists who have been working on producing vaccines, to bring us out of this pandemic; and 4. For those amongst the civil and church authorities who are making oft-unpopular decisions to keep us safe. Coffee with Sister Vassa

Practicing meditation again!

11/15/2020

If through the years you’ve read my posts, you’ll know that I keep having a go at meditation. The accurate phrase is ‘to practice meditation’, the idea being that it is not something to be achieved but to be present to, to practice.  And so, from time to time I practice meditation, and in doing so, new experiences, insights, and awarenesses appear. I say appear, because that is the closest word I can come up with to describe what happens.

    Here is this morning appearance as I was practicing. I set out to let go of all thoughts and be in God’s presence, and so I went to that time-honored practice of returning to the breath.  I noticed, however, that I wasn’t letting go of my thoughts because the following thought kept coming up: “You are not feeling your breath, you are thinking about it.” And then, a miracle happened. I stopped thinking, well at least I ‘think’ that’s what happened. For a while I wasn’t thinking, I was practicing meditation. At least that’s what I thought had happened after I started thinking again. The miracle was a feeling of peace and oneness with the Holy.

   Don’t be concerned if you don’t understand what I have just written. Perhaps if you don’t think about it, you’ll know what I’ve said, perhaps you’ll intuit my point, my blah, blah, blah.

Mini-paradigm shifts

11/10/2020

We are reminded to read the psalms in their fullness, for it is there that we can feel God’s redeeming presence and power. It is then that the shifts in phrase draw us away from self-centeredness and return us to God. We are brought back to the purpose God has called us to, which is to live for God, not for self. I think of theses as mini-paradigm shift,

Every Christian has his/her own way of expressing this. For Fr. Congreve, SSJE: Everything should become by degrees an act of communion with God.

Mine is more personal: Jesus, walk with me in all I do today. Let it be so today as visit my hundred year old friend and as I help distribute groceries at Open Table, a local food pantry. Let it be so as I pray for our democracy.