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  A Prayer Diary

Remember the Sabbath~

4/29/2012

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Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy…. you shall not do any work (Exodus 20.8,10). That’s what were told by God via Moses and the tablets. On the Sabbath, on Sunday I usually go to church, which I figure gets me on the right track with God as far as the Sabbath is concerned. But who am I fooling? Myself, maybe, but not God. I don’t believe God keeps track, although attending church has a long track record in all religions.

     But what about the rest of the day? What happens when I get home from church? How do I continue to remember the Sabbath? Remember what? Genesis tells us: So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation (2.3). Maybe Sunday is a special day to remember God’s creation, remember God in my life. Maybe it’s a time to extend church past morning worship and fellowship and into an afternoon of Sabbath prayer time of gratitude. To do that, I know I have to slow down on all the work that’s waiting to be done.


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Is life a bowl of cherries?

4/26/2012

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The other day was a good day. I spent a productive hour making decisions and moving ‘stuff’ out of the spare front room. I made calls to visit two church folks in the afternoon and went to the supermarket. I added to my Very Grateful list:

13. Waking up in the night and going right back to sleep.

 
          But then, sitting in my Angel Room, sadness came over me. I missed my mom and wondered if she ever felt a similar sadness in the midst of being very grateful. Here I was, writing gratitudes and knowing that it wasn’t just about sleeping through the night, nor that, as the song says,  “Life’s just a bowl of cherries.”

     I don’t think keeping a ‘sadness list’ is the way to balance this, but I do know that without the sadness, yes, tragedies, the gratitudes hold no power. Writing the gratitudes seems to create a container for the sadnesses.


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One Thousand Gifts--give it a try

4/22/2012

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In One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp writes about a challenge to name one thousand blessings, gifts, things she loves. The dare came across her computer from a friend in the form of an email one November morning as she was preparing breakfast for her six children and farmer husband. Ann picked up a pen and scrap of paper and wrote:

1. Morning shadows across the old boards
2. Jam piled high on the toast
3. Cry of blue jay from high in the spruce


    I liked the idea, so I’ve begun a list of my own. What I’m discovering is that it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’ve always consider myself to be a rather grateful person, but the gratitudes just aren’t flowing from me. Where are they stuck? Am I blasé about all the blessings in my life? Maybe I  take them for granted? Anyway, here’s number one and number eight.

1. Mom’s last words
8. Purple finch at the feeder

I’ll keep working on it.


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Be grateful--my new mantra~

4/19/2012

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This morning I was delighted that gratitude was my first thought upon awakening, seeing that gratitude keeps coming up as the place where faith begins and ends. Just the other day I read that the serpent’s sin in the Garden of Eden was lack of gratitude. St. Paul starts most of his letters with gratitude, and Eucharist means ‘to give thanks.’ My mom’s last words, ‘very grateful’ summarized her faith.

     Every day I write in the gratitude diary that my daughter and grandchildren gave me for Christmas in 2006. Currently my entry has three parts. First, in red pen, I write a prayer for myself, for my needs. Today’s was, “Give me a compassionate heart.” Next, in black, I offer a line of gratitudes: lofty ones such as health, family, friends, my church: the mundane, morning coffee, the book I’m reading, my yoga class; and the worldly ones, the creation, the weather (whatever it is), and moments of peace in the world. On the third line, in green, I include something that is true for me that day. Today’s was, “Don’t judge; just pray.” 

    I thinking that “Be grateful” or “I am grateful” might be good mantra to start staying. How awesome it would be blurt out words of gratitude while sitting in traffic, when I smell burnt toast or when plans with family or friends fall through?  


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What to pray for~

4/16/2012

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    I’ve been watching Boston’s unique, one-of-a-kind double header: the Boston Marathon (starting at 9:30), and the Boston Red Sox (first pitch,11). When I was a kid I remember announcing to my father, “God doesn’t love me; God is an Yankee fan.” But then, few years later my beloved Brooklyn Dodgers won the World Series, I saw other signs that God loved me, and besides, maybe I matured in my faith. I learned not to involve God into my life as a sport’s fan, and not to pray for my for my favorite teams.

     I am, however, intrigued with the gratitude shown by players who lift their hands toward the sky after a home run. And I’ve been praying that all those Marathon runners keep those fluids flowing in this 90 degree day.


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"Very grateful" for the cottage~

4/13/2012

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Sunrise this morning at the cottage.
My last full day at the cottage. I’m feeling a little selfish because truth be told, I wish I had another month of weekdays to spend here. But, in my mom’s last words, I’m feeling ‘very grateful’ for the time here.

    People have asked me what I have learned from my winter at the cottage. My responses are hard to articulate, hard to share, because they are God answers, which are often better left in the mystery. Let me just say that I feel closer to God, whatever that means; I feel called to pray for people, whatever that means; I feel less need to explain myself and to ‘get it right’, whatever that means; I feel less judgmental, whatever that means; my ego seems less important, whatever that means.  

     In summary, I’m saying ‘very grateful’ more often, and am beginning to know what that means. For certain, I’m more grateful for Mom.


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Don’t judge; just pray.

4/11/2012

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Don’t judge; just pray.

Today I’m working on this simple idea. Yes, simple, but also serious. In fact, its very simplicity helps me stay hopeful and prayerful in tough situations. When there is nothing I can do, Don’t judge; just pray, keeps me from giving up God. Actually, just pray, is all I really need, but I add the don’t judge to keep me in prayer.

     Here are some of the prayer concerns on my list today. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have something similar on yours.

      The person who doesn’t feel he has any purpose in life.

      The person who doesn’t believe he has enough money to pay the rent.

      The person who feels deceived by his children.

      The person whose daughter needs an organ transplant.

      The person who has gone in for an MRI

      The student who is overwhelmed with school work.

    

Just pray!!


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Easter continues~

4/9/2012

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Easter, the most important holiday in the Christian calendar, is over for another year. The day was wonderful for me--sunrise service, church service filled with joyful music, the message of hope, and a sense of community: family walks and dinner. As the expression goes, “It was all good.”  

    Yes, the celebration is over. But what has amazed me this year is how comforted I feel now that the festivities and rituals are over. In fact, I am closer to God in today’s afterglow than in yesterday’s singing of “Christ the Lord Has Risen Today”. The resurrection has happened; Jesus is here  for me on my own road to Emmaus. Something has shifted. I know and have come to believe that I won’t feel as alone when difficulties arise, or when I am angry, envious, jealous. The death I might feel when things don’t go right, has lost its sting.  Easter season will continue.

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Silence on Good Friday

4/6/2012

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We can learn much from Jesus on Good Friday. All four Gospels give examples of how he conducted himself, what he said and what he didn’t say. Today I’m learning not to defend myself. Sometimes it’s no use arguing about decisions that I have prayerful made. Jesus knew when to be silent in response to Pilate’s questions.

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Holy Week prayer~

4/5/2012

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Moonrise yesterday evening
Holy Week offers everything in terms of prayer, and isn’t that a comforting thought? Whatever kind of prayer I offer is just fine, fine with me, fine with God. I read books about prayer, I try to figure out the right way to pray, and then this week I just have to laugh at myself. All this trying to figure it out. Just pray.

     Except for the prayer that Jesus offered when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, we don’t really know much about how Jesus prayed. What we do know is that he offered praise and thanksgiving, and petitioned (which include confession) for himself and others. That pretty much sums it up. Not a lot to go one, but maybe that’s what opens up the possibilities for each of us.

    So this week I am full of all kinds of prayers. Praise and thanksgiving for the time I have had at my cottage by the sea; petitions for myself and others. I’m not just praying Thy will be done, but am asking for specific healing for people. I want a friend’s daughter to receive a lung transplant, a fourteen year old girl to be cured of cancer, a friend to find hope in his life. I want killing to stop in the streets and countryside throughout the world. In the long run, I know it will be God’s will that is done, but in the short run, I’m a human being praying for those I love. Thy kingdom come on earth…as it is in heaven.


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