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  A Prayer Diary

For All the Saints~

10/31/2014

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     I want to say a little about saints. Unfortunately, those of us brought up Protestant, as well as those unchurched, have some prejudice about the whole idea of sainthood. We seems to get caught up with the bureaucracy of the Catholic church and consequently are unable to discern the good that saints might offer us.

     This negative attitude, however, seems to be changing. I hear talk about someone being a saint, not perfect in every way, but saintly in some particularly area of his or her life. I can count on singing “For All the Saints” at most Protestant funerals I attend.

      When I read about the men and women through the ages that the Church has named as saints, I am aware that they were not perfect in all areas of their lives. But they did have a particular gift that demonstrated God’s love, and they did try to live a God-led life. I believe that we all express these God moments, that we all are saints from time to time.


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Meekness and charity~

10/29/2014

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The Cloud of Unknowing * tells us that meekness and charity are the two virtues that stand for all the other virtues: For whoever can have these two, he would clearly need no others; he would have them all. He also tell us that we can never be perfect…but we know this.

     Of the two, charity is my stronger virtue. I like to visit people who can’t get out and about; I like to take them a meal. Last night I helped at Rosie’s Place (a woman’s shelter in Boston), where as usual, I received more than I gave. But here’s the rub. In telling you about this, I am aware that meekness, the very virtue that I lack, diminishes even more. And yet, sharing ways that we experience God’s kingdom on earth, expands that very kingdom. As the Cloud of Unknowing tells us, we can’t be perfect.

 “The Cloud of Unknowing is an anonymous work of Christian mysticism written in Middle English in the latter half of the 14th century.” (Wikipedia)



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Humility~

10/26/2014

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Churches can be some of the most contentious places that we know. We try so hard to be Christian, to speak up for what we believe is right. What starts out as a good intention gets tangled up in someone else’s good intention, which of course is different from the one we hold.

    There are many ways to respond to such conflicts, one not inherently better than the other. What is important is that we prayerfully come to a decision on how we want to proceed—not just publicly but in our hearts.

    Here’s my current answer to difficult situations. I love all the people involved; I don’t know the details; I don’t want to count on hear-say and second, third or forth had information; we all have logs in our eyes; we all need humility; God loves us all; God shows no partiality. God is still speaking,…

     I have chosen to direct my thoughts, prayers and actions toward all the good that we have and can put forth for God’s kingdom on earth.


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God speaks through love~

10/22/2014

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I believe that God is still speaking..., but  I'm beginning to wonder if God only speaks through love, and thus we can only hear God when we are in a state of love. At least, I'm hearing that that is how God wants me to speak. Yes, there was the Crucifixion (the pain) but also the Resurrection (the love). That’s the Christian story: both, not just one.

     As I was writing out my prayer list for today, I realized that I was only writing the names of people with whom I agree. Wrong way!, Everyone in a given situation needs to be on the list, for it is only then that I have the possibility of praying without judgment. It's one way for my heart and mind to open to Thy will be done. Perhaps it is only way for God to hear my prayer.



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Love in the midst of church conflict~

10/20/2014

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    In times of conflict and loss of trust, especially when the church has been draw in as an unwilling participant, we as Christians are challenged to remain open to love. How difficult it can be. For hours or even days we entirely forget about love. We want to prove our point, believing that we are the only ones with the right position. We call forth our best theological reflection, we proof text, we claim to know what Jesus would do, or at least what Jesus would want us to do.

     As members, be it of a church or a theological institution, there may be  words we must profess, actions we must take. And then, when all has been said and done, we are called to sit back and pray, “Thy will be done,” and believe it.

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Now I lay me down to sleep~

10/16/2014

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When I was a child my parents taught me to ‘say my prayers’ every evening after I got in bed and before I fell asleep. This was our family version.

    “Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep, Thy love stay with me through the night and wake me with the morning light. God bless Mommy and Daddy”….and then I’d list my siblings, grandmother, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends.

     We were Protestant and Protestants didn’t kneel. Nor did we say, “If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

      The prayer ritual remains, but now that I am not a child, I pray for family and friends in the morning. However, there is something very comforting in ending the day with a prayer that reviews the day, a practice from the examen of Saint Ignatius.

      Br. Luke Ditewig, of the Society of Saint John the Evangelist, offers four questions that he prays near bedtime.

“There are many ways to pay attention to God’s action in our lives. One way that helps me is to stop and pray near bedtime. I ask myself these questions: “For what am I most thankful today? When was I most fully alive? How did I receive love? How did I give love?” * For often in these moments, God was catching me: appearing in a surprising form, being right there to save me. Stopping to reflect, I now see and say “thank you.”

When I’m hurting or afraid or anxious, it can be hard to go to sleep. So by reviewing the day, I remember I was caught, I was loved. Holding these memories close to my heart, I can go to sleep, trusting for gifts of love tomorrow.” **

* Questions by Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn. (1995) Sleeping With Bread: Holding What Gives You Life. Paulist Press.

Their similar book (2006) Making Heart-Bread is great for teaching this to children.

**http://ssje.org/ssje/2011/08/07/caught-br-luke-ditewig/



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Busy weekend prayer~

10/14/2014

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There are many reasons we ask people to pray for us: for cure, healing, wisdom, solidarity, and all the variations on a theme that we can come up with. This past weekend we attended our son’s joyful wedding in Chicago, which as you can imagine was a non-stop time with family. Aside from the heartfelt ceremony and reception, we walked, ate, and took the Architecture River Tour. We were busy!

     My point here is that the busyness of the weekend occupied, not only my prayer time, but most of my prayer thoughts. Not until the plane trip home did I really get back in touch with God.

      How could this have happened? I felt disappointed and guilty until I realized that God didn’t want me to be worrying. God had been taking care of it all while I was off eating, socializing and celebrating. What’s more, I had friends praying, holding the God space for me. That’s what I do when I am asked to pray for them while they are involved with whatever is consuming them or their loved ones, be it the concern of surgery or illness, or the joy of marriage or vacation.

    I am not in charge; God is. Once again, let go, let God.


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Airport prayers~

10/11/2014

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Working one’s way through an airport, in our case from Boston to Chicago, is best done prayerfully. Wouldn’t you know it? My husband, who hates to fly, was confronted with all the annoying security check snags; his  boarding pass printed with his given and sir names reversed so we had to return to the ticket counter to get that straighten out; his glasses in his pants pocket set off the scanner alarm. Meanwhile, I, who if homeless would live in an airport, walked right through without a sound.

   In and of itself this wasn’t really a big deal; he managed just fine. At the moment it looks like an on-time take off on this gorgeous day. I continue praying to clear all that intense, often negative, airport energy.

    P. S. All is well. Along with marathonors from around the world, we made it to downtown Chicago where we are joined with family and friends to celebrate our son Tim’s marriage to Jill. Prayers of gratitude.


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Deliberate vulnerability~

10/9/2014

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Here I am, back with a meager attempt to talk about vulnerability, my own that is. I begin by saying that I hate the topic; I hate being vulnerable. Even writing and posting this is about as vulnerable as I want to be. So, of course, that means that vulnerability is one of my God lessons.

      As stated in the Northumbria rule, "We are called to intentional, deliberate VULNERABILITY: We embrace the vulnerability of being teachable expressed in: a discipline of prayer; in exposure to Scripture; a willingness to be accountable to others in ordering our ways and our heart in order to effect change.

     "We embrace the responsibility of taking the heretical imperative: by speaking out when necessary or asking awkward questions that will often upset the status quo; by making relationships the priority, and not reputation.

      "We embrace the challenge to live as church without walls, living openly amongst unbelievers and other believers in a way that the life of God in ours can be seen, challenged or questioned. This will involve us building friendships outside our Christian ghettos or club-mentality, not with ulterior evangelistic motives, but because we genuinely care."

    I’m being told to step out of my comfort zone, to attend to Scripture with new eyes and ears. How do I do this? How to start? Perhaps by praying to be the very thing that I don’t want to be—vulnerable. I need God’s guidance.


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God's humility~

10/7/2014

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  I promised that I would write about vulnerability, which along with availability makes up the rule of the Northumbria Community. But it is evening, and after a day in Boston I’m too tired to compose anything. So instead, here is a piece by Angela of Foligno (1248-1309), sainted by Pope Francis on October 9, 2013. I leave you to your own meditation.
    "The eyes of my soul were opened, and I beheld the plenitude of God, wherein I did comprehend the whole world, both here and beyond the sea, and the abyss and ocean and all things. In all these things I beheld naught save the divine power, in a manner assuredly indescribable, so that through excess of marveling the soul cried with a loud voice, saying, ‘This whole world is full of God!’ Wherefore I comprehended how small a thing is the whole world…and that the Power of God exceeds and fills all. Then he said unto me: ‘I have shown thee something of My Power…Behold now My humility.’ Then I was given an insight into the deep humility of God towards man. And comprehending that unspeakable power and beholding that deep humility, my soul marveled greatly and did esteem itself to be nothing at all."


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