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  A Prayer Diary

It is all grace~

1/28/2018

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Throughout most of my waking hours I think about prayer, faith, and God, and find myself praying without ceasing. This ‘pattern of behavior’ began in earnest approximately twenty years go when I stopped teaching and began divinity school. It was nothing I consciously chose, it just evolved. In fact, this very unconscious obsession about God is the best proof I have for God’s existence and presence in my life; never could I have decided on my own to pursue God.
      For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
 I believe God has plans for every human being, and I don’t have an answer to why some hear God’s call, and other don’t. I know and have come to believe with certainty that being called by God has nothing to do with my behavior, good, bad or in between. The only answer is grace, which is a miracle. So, I leave it at that and think about prayer, faith, and God, and continue to pray without ceasing.


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Grace

1/21/2018

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     We’ve decided to move from this old house where we’ve been living for the past forty years. Packing has begun and we’re looking for a condo in town. We want to do this while were healthy (enough), wealthy (enough) and wise (enough). Jim and I are a good team, he with financial and legal expertise, I with logistical savvy. I say this with as much humility as I can muster.
     This may sound arrogant, but I don’t feel that way. I am grateful for the blessings I have been given. If it weren’t for my faith, I’d probably take more of the credit for how my life has gone—giving a tad to Lady Luck.
    But Jesus lived a different way, and preached a different message. Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. As a Christian I know and believe that the good in my life is all grace and that I am called to do what I can to give back.
    Personal downside to moving: I won’t be able to walk across the street to the library or up the street to church. And yet, it's all about church.


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God shows no partiality~

1/10/2018

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PictureTypical functioning sink.
     Our downstairs pipes have thawed and water is running in the kitchen sink. When it happened, I was grateful—well, for a moment--but I quickly forgot about the inconvenience. ‘Fear not,’ we read. In fact, someone has conveniently counted some form of be not afraid 365 times in the Bible. No question, fear has been around a long time and is still very popular among us humans, but we seem to forget it when the good times roll.
     When our pipes froze, I wasn’t afraid in any major way, although I felt a tad of anxiety at the possibility of some flooding. Thankfully, however, I didn’t fret about this little thing. God protected me; may I remember to be not afraid when a big thing comes along. There is no difference; God shows no partiality.


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Fruits of Centering Prayer~

1/5/2018

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     We have lived in this old house for over a week with no running water downstairs. I’m talking about washing machine and kitchen sink, including frozen drains. Up and down the steep, back stairs we go to fetch water and do dishes. We could be complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves, after all, it’s a first world privilege to whine about such inconveniences. But we don’t.
     I attribute my attitude to the fruits of Centering Prayer and the Jesus Prayer. I just show up and ‘do’ them. For twenty minutes a day I sit in God’s presence, letting go of thoughts and feeling my breath. During the day, whenever I remember, I let go of thoughts and think, ‘Jesus Christ have mercy on me.’ The fruits appear; I am free of stress about a particular situation; I don’t have a judgment about something or someone; my mind is less cluttered; I return more often to praying without ceasing.
      These are miracles. Centering prayer opens up the space for God to do God’s work in my life. The Jesus Prayer keeps my heart open.

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