Happy Easter everyone.
He is not here….he is risen. Alleluia!
He is not here….he is risen. Alleluia!
 So here it, Good Friday again. For some reason I’m remember the routine back when I was a kid, probably junior high age (that’s what it was called back then). Schools weren’t closed but we could take the time to go to the 12 noon to 3 service at church, and I recall going a few times. We sat there, that’s all: no reading, no music, no prayers, just the space to sit and wait with Jesus. Nowadays there is an ecumenical service in town and an evening service at my church. All fine, but I miss that empty service before the day of the empty tomb. Of course I could take that time myself; I don’t need the church structure. But alas, instead, I will be welcoming grandchildren at that time, which isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s just not the same. I know that.
 I’ve been reading about Eastern Orthodox Christianity, particularly the tradition of the staretz or elders, many of whom lived on Mt. Athos in Greece. Recently I came across The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology, a gem of a book with a must-read introduction by Timothy Ware (also known as Bishop Kallistos Ware), a current voice of the Orthodox tradition.
Just a page or two from the ancient (or not so ancient) writings of these holy men gives much to ponder. Consider the following section from the chapter by Theopan the Recluse (cited as written by Bishop Nkon of Volodak, Russian spiritual writher in the late 19th and early 20th century--giving accurate credited in complicated). “What is prayer? What is its essence? How can we learn to prayer? What does the spirit of the Christian experience as he prays in humility of heart? “All such questions should constantly occupy the mind and heart of the believer, for in prayer man converses with God, he enters, through grace, into communion with Him, and lives in God. “Prayer is the test of everything; prayer is also the source of everything; prayer is the driving force of everything; prayer is also the director of everything. If prayer is right, everything is right. For prayer will not allow anything to go wrong.” I am in awe. The questions alone give thought for a lifetime. But today I’m drawn to the powerful and mysterious phrase ‘humility of the heart’, humility, or rather lack of it, being one of my major spiritual concerns and roadblocks. That humility dwells in and springs forth from the heart rings so true. Although my mind can consider humility, humility doesn’t reside there nor can my mind make me humble…ah, if only…. Even my ‘if only’ shows pride, which of course my mind can’t get rid of. Okay, I’ll stop all that mental exercise. Let me conclude by saying that I believe that humility comes from an open heart, which can only be opened through God, through grace, and yes, through prayer. I’m working on it.  If you haven’t checked out the website for Raven’s Bread: Food for Those in Solitude, I recommend you do so. What I particularly like about it is that it is primarily written by people like me who are searching for solitude and who have a certain ‘hermit’ tendency.
Each month editors Paul and Karen Fredette pose a discussion topic and invite responses. The question for the May issue is as follows: “As I move deeper into hermit life, I am torn between the need to stay connected to a (church) congregation but also feeling increasingly “off-center” in that public setting. How do others work this out?” Here’s my response. "If I didn’t attend church and participate in its life of worship and service, I would become even more self-centered than I already am. My understanding of hermit life for me is two fold: I need solitude and community. I am called to intercessory prayer, and for that I require a great deal of time alone. But I am also called to serve God by reaching out to people face to face, and for that I must have community. Attending church every Sunday gives me the opportunity to pray with others, to keep my list of intercessory prayer requests current, to be aware of who might like a visit, to give people rides to church, and more. (Note, I am not on any committee)." My purpose is to love and serve God. Church keeps me “on-center” and connected. If I get “off-center” I return to my model, Jesus, who went off by himself to pray and then went out into the world.  Holy Week has begun. Yesterday at church there were palms and the music was serious. Being a life-long Protestant, well…, nothing too heavy about the Cross for me. We were into the Resurrection, skipping right into Easter. That Protestant upbringing, along with my optimistic disposition, has kept me from going very deeply into the theology and dogma around suffering and the Cross.
With that acknowledgment, where do I stand on the drama and events of this coming week? As I enjoy the evening sunlight on the water here at the cottage, I find it a challenge to even consider suffering, Jesus’ or anyone else’s. But I only have to glance at the names on my ‘top ten prayer list’ to be reminded: people involved in surgery and chemo; friends grieving for loved ones; individuals feeling alone, isolated and unloved; people agonizing over serious life decisions and relationship gone amiss. In suffering the humiliation, betrayal and pain of the Cross, Jesus experienced them all. But of course his story didn’t end, not with the crucifixion, not even with Easter. With the continual coming of the Holy Spirit it is a story without an ending. Clearly suffering doesn’t have the last word.  I don’t mean to be secretive, but sometimes it’s best to keep my prayers and their success between me and God. I had one of those situations today. I prayed to let go of a result that I wanted and to trust that God was working through my predicament. I can’t say I let go and trusted 100% but I was as close as I could get and I was willing to try. I am happy with the result and I believe that those involved are also satisfied. Now for prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving.
 It seems reasonable to say that prayer people believe that it is important to pray for the world—world peace, an end to violence, saving environment—those big issues that are on the nightly news. Lately I’ve been praying more seriously for them instead of limiting my prayer for individuals and situations that I am intimately involved with. And lest I forget to do so, I’m reminded every Sunday in church at the conclusion of joys and concerns when Terry asks for prayers for ‘peace in the world, peace in our families and peace in our hearts.’ It’s become a sacred part of the service.
I don’t believe that I have to be an expert on current events in order to pray for the world. Not that I’m against being informed, but immersing myself in the news fills me with judgments that detract from my prayer. After all, prayer is about ‘Thy will be done’ not about what the government should do. God’s will is love, which is the context for my prayer for non-violence, for caring for the poor and for the environment, and for world peace. I’m praying that we can come closer to ‘Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven.’  Like the nineteenth century Russian pilgrim in Way of A Pilgrim, I, too, have been intrigued with St. Paul’s instruction to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 4:17). And thanks to that pilgrim, I’ve been saying the Jesus prayer now for a couple of years as a way to do just that.
Jesus Christ have mercy on me, a sinner. Until recently I omitted the sinner part. After all, being brought up Protestant, sinner was hardly a part of our vocabulary, much less our theology. But lately, due in part to reading The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality, I am now including it, having surrendered to the idea and belief that I indeed am a sinner. What follows are quotes attributed to Father Maximos, an Anthonite monk and friend of the author Kyriacos C. Markides. I’ve repeated a few from a previous blog and included many more, which I will also add in the ‘Books’ section. It (the Jesus Prayer) is the practical way of mobilizing the mechanism of the heart to open up to Grace….embedded in the name of Jesus is the very power of God. By invoking, therefore, the sacred name repeatedly we invite the Grace of God to take possession of hour hearts and mind, protecting us from harmful effects. {The Prayer} opens the road for Grace to visit the heart. And when that happens, then the heart works by itself independently of whatever else you do. It enters into an ongoing relationship with God. When you practice the Jesus Prayer systematically, it is as if you move about within a polluted city wearing an oxygen mask over your face. Nothing can touch you.” When the spirit of the Jesus Prayer takes over the heart, only then do people get healed within the depths of their being. The flame of God has now been ignited in the heart. Do the Prayer and God will take care of the rest. He will lead you to Him through the Prayer. The first thing you need to do is to be convinced of the power of the prayer, that it is real and that it can affect not only you personally, but also those for whom you pray. All sense of isolation, of being unloved, of being disliked, of being envied, disappears with the power of ceaseless prayer. Through the Prayer you begin to commune with the living Christ, who is at the very depths of your being…The name of Christ itself has power. It brings tranquility to the soul. When we get into the habit of continuous prayer, we can then get involved with several other activities simultaneously….Prayer goes on ceaselessly in the heart. With the habitual recitation of the Jesus Prayer, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in the heart and gets activated there. It is beyond works and meanings. It is metanoia (repentance) that will bring humility and it is humility that will pave the way for the acquisition of spiritual gifts, by necessity. That’s how the Holy Spirit works. Only humility has the power to attract God’s Grace to the human soul…Humility renders the person immune to anger and incapable of making anyone else angry.  Today on my walk I got thinking about how it impossible to explain the multifaceted nature of prayer. Since any description puts limits on what I might mean, I’m sticking with my current one-line definition: prayer is how I communicate with God and how God communicates with me. I’m going to leave it at that and not get into the details. Anyone who can accept it, who can say, “Oh yes, I get it,” doesn’t need much more. They have a freedom to pray in their own way.
I say this, and yet I am fascinated with ideas and beliefs about prayer, and I read widely on the subject. Most of the writers, both past and current theologians, start with the premise that the reader believes in prayer and is searching for answers and further explanations. On the other hand, today’s enlightened skeptics, in response to my definitions and explanations are likely to ask, “But, who is God?”, which of course gets us into a tangential conversation. I’m not going there.  I’ve decided that I’m not going to attempt to describe my faith any more. Those who have faith don’t need an explanation. Agnostics and atheists are working from a different paradigm, so whatever I say gets filtered through their particular lens.
I used to hide my faith, scarcely admitting that I went to church. But as it becomes more and more central to who I am and who I am becoming, that seems to be changing. I don’t want to be a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde any more, although I still haven’t completely let go of that ‘safe’ dual persona. But ‘someone’ has to take it’s place. Where to begin? What to say? Living in liberal New England, where people take great care to be PC about everything, adds its own particular burden on people of faith. Oh, I’m sure that each part of the country has its own unique burden; here in the northeast, mum is the word. Of course, I don’t have to take that burden. As Jesus says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30). Where to begin? What to say? Jesus is a good place to start. |
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