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"Gone Writing"

11/29/2014

Here’s what I just posted on my cottage-by-the-sea blog. For all you prayer people, I would ask that you say a ‘soft prayer’ that I will answer God’s call and finish sharing Mom’s message of love and faith.

“It is time,” as the expression goes. Time to start writing again in earnest; time to finish ‘Very Grateful’. A memoir? A biography? An autobiography? All of the above? none of the above? Somewhere in between? I don’t know what to call this celebration of my mother life, but I do know that I need to finish it, and that I need to do it now. I need to share the gifts that my mother gave to me, her family and the many people who knew her because these gifts are treasures worth spreading beyond her circle of acquaintances. Her gifts are for daughters and sons who are living with aging parents; they are for men and women who are circling seventy; and they are for everyone in between. They are gifts of love and faith.
In order to immerse myself in this writing, I must let go of the other writing I am doing, particularly for this blog. I must dedicate all my physical and psychic time to it. And so, I’m going to hang up a “Gone Writing” sign for a while. Every Saturday I will check to let you know how I’m doing, and maybe I will add a quote along the way. But during the week, I have "Gone Writing”.

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God is waiting to be found~

11/24/2014

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Forgive me. I try to post every other day, but that commitment slipped away this past week. We visited friends, our granddaughter came to visit, and voila, the week had passed. Today I finally got back to what I consider a normal schedule, which to a large extent means that I have the morning for prayer and spiritual reading. I miss it when I’m away or am busy, but I am also very grateful for these non-routine times in my life.
If things had gone as planned, if the owner hadn’t gotten sick, I’d be at the cottage now. But life happens and we adjust, or to use a friend’s term, we ‘re-arrange’. The good news is that the owner is better. However, I doubt that I’ll get up there until after the New Year. That’s okay with me. God follows me around wherever I go. When I’m busy, God seems to hang out toward the back or to the side. God is easier to find when I’m settled in at home, which includes my cottage home. The truth is that all I need to do is remember God and there God is. That’s how I find God. God is waiting to be found.

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Replacing fear with awe~

11/18/2014

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In the psalms, whenever I read of fear connected with God, I always think awe.

The fear (awe) of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever. Psalm 111.10

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear (are in awe of) him, and his righteousness to children’s children. Psalm 103:17

      The following verse has ignited awe in me and thus I want to share with you what God has done for me lately.

Come and hear, all you who fear God and I will tell you what he has done for me. Psalm 66:16

    I don’t deny that things happen in life that can strike fear—among family, friends, church, organizations, our country, the world. But the awe of God can lead us to new ways of thinking of and responding to the givens of earthly life.
      This past year God has done all kinds of wonderful things for me and life has continue to happen. The awe is that in difficult situations God seems to be easing me toward understanding and acceptance, and finally to love.
     “What can you do to bring love to this situation?” I hear God asking me.
    When I find myself judging, criticizing, gossiping, worrying and being anxious about things that aren’t my business, I don’t hear God at all. Maybe God only speaks through love.

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Pray without ceasing~

11/15/2014

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The following is yesterday’s post on my cottagebythesea.net blog. I want to add a little here about the part that prayer played in my response to the delay. I believe that my acceptance was God led, God’s answer to my prayer that my heart be open to love. I keep practicing to pray without ceasing the Jesus prayer, Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me. And then, when I least expect it, God shows me of a moment of grace; my first thought is about someone else, not about me.

   A change in the journey. Yesterday I received a call from the man from whom I rent the cottage-by-the-sea. From his hospital bed he told me that he was dealing with a little medical problem and thus would not be flying to Florida on Sunday as planned. Could I hold off coming to the cottage for a couple of weeks until….?

     “Of course. The important thing is that you get better. I’m fine wherever I am,” I told him. And I meant it. My first thought was that he get better so he could play tennis in the Florida sun. I readily admit that on another day, in another situation, I could have thought first of myself, of my loss. But this was a good day!

       The good day continued as I noticed how content I was with the changing plans: the shift from days of solitude watching the water and walking the beach, to the inherent sociability of my life at home; the readjustment I would have to make to schedule writing my memoir.

      I’m fine wherever I am these days. Six years ago, as I prepared for my first season at the cottage, I wouldn’t have been in that place of satisfaction. Back then I longed to experience silence, solitude and simplicity and figure out what it meant in my life--past, present and future. Now I have a sense of it; I own it deep inside. Wherever I go I carry silence, solitude and simplicity with me.

       I hope this works out for us. I hope my friend can get to Florida. I hope I can have another season at the cottage. Regardless, our journey will continue to change.

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Piero della Francesca's Resurrection~

11/10/2014

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At the funeral service on October 17, 2014 for Thomas Shaw (Brother of the Society of St. John the Evangelist and Bishop of the Boston Diocese of the Episcopal Church), Br. Geoffrey Tristram spoke of Shaw’s favorite painting, the ‘Resurrection’ by Piero della Francesca. “In pride of place, right in the center, and covered with candle wax drippings was this painting, which he was praying with during his last days. It was one he loved and preached about and led a meditation on at Convention.”

Tristram went on to remind us that for Shaw it was Christ’s eyes. “The glory is Christ’s eyes. They gaze at us, steadily and lovingly. But they are eyes which have gone through the night: for 3 days they have been wrestling with death – but have finally conquered.”

Piero della Francesca is one of the most compelling painters of early Italian Renaissance, and definitely my favorite. I feel an affinity with Shaw because I have the Resurrection painting hanging in my the angel room; I have a postcard of Christ’s head with those eyes staring at me, those eyes that penetrate right into my soul. If I’m not truthful those eyes know, and I find myself turning away from them.

http://ssje.org/ssje/2014/11/01/funeral-service-m-thomas-shaw-ssje-br-geoffrey-tristram/

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Emmet Fox on prayer~

11/8/2014

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    Emmet Fox has articulated something fundamental about prayer.

It may boldly be said that in prayer, the more love, the more power; and this is why people of developed spiritual perception take such constant pains to keep themselves free from thoughts of criticism and condemnation.

    The more we exist in an attitude of love, the more powerful our prayer. To be loving we must be free of judgment and opinion, or to use Fox’s words, ‘free from thoughts of criticism and condemnation.’ I am not claiming this is the only way to live a spiritual life, but it is for me because I feel called me to pray for people. That is why I don’t follow the news. That is why I am not a good storyteller. That is why, when I listen to people I try, as St. Benedict suggests. to listen with the ear of my heart.

    I am learning that a life of prayer is a solitary one and that it can lead to a certain kind of isolation and separation. I definitely don’t want to argue with anyone, but more subtly I don’t want to join a conversation where the participants agree about everything that is wrong with the world—politicians, the medical world, sexism, racism, you name it. I want to stay away from intellectual elitism.

   In writing this piece, however, I am aware that under the guise of spiritual elitism. I am indulging in just that. I do my best to be humble, which in and of itself is very humbling. I have many painful miles to go.

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Prayer is awesome~

11/4/2014

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I continue to be in awe of prayer. Specifically how prayer leads me to 'right' decisions. These usually aren't definitive, as in forever-- but are answers to what I should do at the moment, in the current situation. I pray for guidance and then I let go for a while. Answers usually don't come immediately and often they indicate a stance that God wants me to take, not a yes or no, not a do this or do that. So I live into the answer.

Sometimes circumstances change and I hear that now is the time to do something else, something maybe just a little different. Other times I hear a big shift. And then there are the times when I have to sit in the ambiguity, and I hate that, but I also know it is where God wants me to be. The good news is that God is with me in the midst of it all. I know that God is still speaking, but of course, I have to keep listening/praying.

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"Gone Writing"

God is waiting to be found~

Replacing fear with awe~

Pray without ceasing~

Piero della Francesca's Resurrection~

Emmet Fox on prayer~

Prayer is awesome~

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