The challenge is to live a spiritual life with ambiguity, to accept what McColman suggests, “…you can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in” and work from there. That dark, that imperfection is there as a way to see the light.
What is your core spiritual issue? Carl McColman https://carlmccolman.com/the-paradox-of-radical-trust/ addresses this a blog posted titled, “The Paradox of Radical Trust.” Upon reading it I immediately want to name my core spiritual issue and then solve it so it wouldn’t be an issue any more. But that’s not McColman’s point, nor is it God’s point. How arrogant of me to think that I can be perfect. In fact, that is very likely my core spiritual issue—that I think I can figure out my faults and get rid of them.
The challenge is to live a spiritual life with ambiguity, to accept what McColman suggests, “…you can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in” and work from there. That dark, that imperfection is there as a way to see the light.
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The church I attend has no air conditioning, so with yesterday’s 95 degree forecast, Sunday service was held on line. Instead, I chose to worship at the Greater Framingham Community Church. Gfccnet.org . And worship I did. I’m still in awe of how praise and thanksgiving was front and center of the entire service. Praising God and thanking God through the music of a live band and singing, and through word expressed by the pastor and the ‘amens’ from the congregants. But it was more than that. Gratitude encompassed everything—it took over. What I’m trying to convey here is beyond words. Too many words don’t help; in fact they hinder. John 1:1 tells us, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” One word, gratitude; one word, love; one word, Jesus. There is much more to say about yesterday, but not now, not yet, maybe not ever. Perhaps I’ve said it all in the one word that was at the core of yesterdays service. I trust that when I go return there to worship on another Sunday I will receive the same Word. But I’ll go again, just to hear it and be refreshed (they have air conditioning). (I didn’t take any photos because I went as a worshipper, not as a tourist or blogger.) On this muggy New England morning I am trying to stay present to God’s world just as it is. The heat helps because my body wants to stay put, to sit and look out the window, and be with God—that’s all. The good news is that we have no central air in our house, no artificial means to distract me from the climate and temperature at this July moment. The heat outside has slowed my body down God does not separated mind/body/ spirit, and neither do I in my longing to be in God’s presences. I rejoice that my body is coming in sync with my contemplative mind and spirit. I am grateful for this heat. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of air conditioning, and I pray for those who have no choice and who live in desperate heat around the world and at the southern border.) A friend’s husband is back in the hospital again. Yes, again, after many previous stays during the past few years. My friend continues to be grateful for all the good times and prays that God will do what’s best for him. To be more precise, she knows that God is doing what’s best. Her prayer is that this will be apparent to all. What faith. I’m reminded once again that gratitude is the core of faith. When we start prayer with gratitude, we surrender to God; we start with Thy will be done. From there we can humbly offer our petitions. I sit here in my lovely yard enjoying the flora and my family. I could write about that. Or… I sit here in my lovely yard worrying about the racism that has a grip on our president and so many in our country. I could write about that. But… Neither of those scenarios help me, a person who God keeps calling to another way of living that is beyond enjoying or worrying. At church we lift up joys and concerns because that is where we are settled in our lives. But then we are asked to soar above them, to let them go, to stop allowing them to take over. We are asked not to think them away but to pray them away. Again and again I return to Paul’s plea in 1 Thessalonians: pray without ceasing. When I pray the Jesus Prayer, Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me, my dependence on the joys and concerns of life lose their power and the peace of God that passes all understanding takes over. Of course I have to keep practicing this, but the results keep me at it. |
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