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  A Prayer Diary

Faith is a mystery

1/23/2021

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 I want to keep this prayer diary going, but it is a challenge because so much of my faith (anyone’s faith) is impossible to put into words. Yes, in the beginning was the word, but I have a sense that that word was a thought, a feeling, something more in tune with the Holy Spirit than with any kind of theology written down. 
   And yet, I know, at least from my own experience, that hearing someone else try to describe their faith keeps us going to fulfill this deep longing to believe something beyond what our minds can come up with.
    And so, I persevere by sharing whatever comes through my spirit as my fingers touch the computer keys. Stream of consciousness. Faith is a mystery so I might as well stay in it. 
(I’m going to reread what I’ve just written, and if it makes any kind of sense, I’ll push the send button.)

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Letting my little light shine

1/17/2021

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If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered. 
Psalm 130:3-4


Hmm, is the psalmist telling me that if I don’t forgive, my iniquities could stand? There are many ways to interpret this complex verse, but today, that’s how I’m going to interpret it. I have to forgive. Not forget, but forgive. 
     What does that look like for me right now as I see all those videos of violence at the U.S, Capitol? It means to pray for everyone involved, the perpetrators and the victims. Pray that their hearts will open to lead them to love, compassion, and courage to do the right thing. 
     Sometimes it is hard to lift everyone up to the light. I mean, do they deserve it? Will they benefit in ways I consider appropriate? But if I don’t, then my little light will go out. We’re all in this together. I’d better starting singing, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,” and let everyone join the chorus.

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Epiphanies are ongoing

1/7/2021

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Epiphany
Google search: Epiphany is a Christian holiday primarily commemorating the Magi's visit to the baby Jesus and the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist. Eastern traditions, which usually call the holiday Theophany, focus on Jesus' baptism, seen as the manifestation of Christ as both fully human and fully divine.

Cambridge Dictionary: a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of, something that is very important to you. 

     Yesterday, January 6, Christians celebrated Epiphany. I was reminded of the many epiphanies that have come along on my faith journey—those times when I suddenly become conscious of something that is very important to my faith. Some of these epiphanies faded away soon after they appeared. Others kept returning, indicating that they were not personal whims or wishes, but messages from God.  One continues to be persistent calls from God. God’s call for me to pray for people has been a longstanding one. 
      Now another keeps coming. “Live your life for Jesus.” I’m not sure I have the wording quite right, but I’m working on it. Or, shall I say that God is working on it. Let me say that the idea keeps me hopeful and purposeful. A more encompassing reason for helping out, for being of service. 


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Thomas Merton Prayer

1/4/2021

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MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton

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