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  A Prayer Diary

Centering prayer update

3/31/2016

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     I’ve continued to show up for twenty minutes twice a day to practice centering prayer. My mind still bops all over the place, but at least I’m present, just sitting there, phone timer set. My usual times are 6AM and 1PM.
     Fr. Thomas Keating and the centering prayer spokespeople say that showing up is where to start. Makes sense to me. After all, how can I gain benefits if I don’t do it? Evidently, after years of practice some people are still struggling to empty their minds of thoughts, so how can be discouraged? I trust the process. I figure that if my willingness to sit with God pleases me, it just has to please God.


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Holy Saturday: a centering prayer day.

3/26/2016

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     I’ve never paid much attention to Holy Saturday. Growing up I don’t recall it ever mentioned in my UCC church. Just a day when nothing happened, nothing going on at church. That’s still true. I can see my church from our upstairs window and all is quiet. No cars in the parking lot. No service to attend.
And yet, I notice that Holy Saturday is very much with me this year. Not on my mind, as in thinking, but as a presence, a presence of the God of centering prayer; the God that comes to me when I stop analyzing, stop trying to figure things out, stop wanting to do it my way.
     Today I feel particularly calm; I am living a centering prayer day. I’ll be doing my regular activities-- cooking, enjoying family, reading, writing, and walking--but I sense that my mind will be empty of some of the usual, excessive and unnecessary chatter. Yes, a centering prayer day.


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Maundy Thursday: come as you are~

3/24/2016

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Holy week: Palm Sunday and then three quiet days before Maundy Thursday.
    Potluck at my church tonight means    just that. Bring what you want if you can. I figure that if it is mainly brownies and cookies, most people will be thrilled. If all we get is salads, then we’ll depart healthy. Potluck also means bring if you can. Older folk don’t cook; some come right from work; some need a break from it all. The main thing is that we are together to eat and break bread: to realize that Jesus gave that bread to one who would betray him and one who would deny him: to believe that he forgives us; and to remember that is he we try to follow. We come as we are.


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Golden Rule~

3/21/2016

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I came across this while going through my computer files. It’s dated 9/1/03. Still good.

In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets. Christian (Matthew 7:12).
 
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Buddhist (Udana-Varga 5:18).
 
Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss. Taoist (T’ai Shang Kan Ying P’ien).
 
What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. Jewish (Talmud, Shabbat 31a).
 
This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you. Brahman (Mahabharata 4:15-17).
 
That nature alone is good which refrains from doing unto another whatsoever is not good for itself. Zoroastrian (Dadistan-i-dinik 94:5).
 
No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself. Islamic (Sunnah).


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Keep showing up for prayer

3/19/2016

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     My morning devotion time starts out well, but as the day goes on I become more and more distracted by life’s happenings. At 6AM I begin my first twenty minute period of centering prayer, which leads into intercessory prayer, followed by Bible and meditation reading. Then life begins and although I do my best to pray without ceasing, the lapses begin.
I like the idea of noon devotionals, but I’m not seriously committed so they don’t happen with any regular gusto. My daily walk, however, is a fruitful prayer time for me. If my schedule allows, which it usually does, I practice the second centering prayer time at 4PM. All good, but then supper preparation begins, followed by eating and the listening to news (Need I ask if this is spiritually helpful?) After that I can’t get my mind back with God in any serious way so I read a novel and work on my ever-present jigsaw puzzle.
     The good news on all of this is that before I go to bed I listen to a daily, twelve minute devotional entitled "Pray as you go." http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/home/. I close my eyes and listen to the music, scripture and prayerful questions asked. A peaceful way to fade into a peaceful sleep. 
     Hmm, as I read what I’ve just written, I seem quite faithful, and I am. I want my prayer for others to become  a more frequent part of my daily life. As with centering prayer, I have to keep showing up.

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Venting and prayer~

3/16/2016

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     Here’s my vent. This morning started with my usual prayer time, and was feeling at peace with God, with the universe. I would be picking up a friend to take her to a doctor’s appointment. All seemed good in my world, prayer and service, just as I like it.
     But when I called to reconfirm the appointment (they had already called my friend to come an hour early to have her pace maker checked) I was told that we would then have to wait an hour to see the doctor. I must admit I lost it with the receptionist.
     “You are kidding me! This is a 93 year old woman… blah, blah, blah.” I settle down, apologized for my rant,but went on expressing my exasperation, conscious that I wanted to make a point about how important it is not to put a very elderly person through what might be too much for her.
     Well, there it is, righteous indignation, which the way it is with rants and ranters. With prayer, however, I’m calming down. All very humbling.

P.S. The good news is that none of this had to do with the added time I have to take. I could have been out of sorts about it, but, thanks be to God, I wasn’t. For that I am very grateful.


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Intercessory prayer--Thy will be done~

3/9/2016

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I thought I’d share my response to the latest question from the ‘Growing a Rule of Life’ Lenten series of the Society of St. John the Evangelist (www.ssje.org) in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
     How would you describe your unique ‘vocation’ in the world? My unique vocation in the world is to pray for people. I use the phrase to pray for people rather than to be an intercessor because it feels more like what I do. I don’t pray for specific outcomes; I pray that God will enter the person’s heart and guide them in the peace they long for. I pray Thy will be done, not that God will do what we humans want.
     I continue to be in awe of this vocation. I know and have come to believe that it is a call from God, because NO WAY would I have every thought it up myself or followed through with it on my own.
 
The following wasn’t part of my public response on the SSJE site but it will help clarify. When someone puts for a specific prayer request, it usually aligns with God’s will. For example, recently a friend asked for prayers that the school make appropriate changes to her son’s educational plan. I pray Thy will be done as I visualize God in the situation. That’s the best I can do to put it into words.



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Never too busy to pray

3/7/2016

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    The other morning I let myself sleep in, something I hardly ever do, but something I ought to do more often. I experienced those early morning dreams that are especially rich. The 'result' was that I handed over to God my ongoing/obsessive/self-centered question about what I am to do with my life now. I didn't let go of the question, but let go of my preconceived idea about what I wanted God to say, and what I wanted to do. My heavy burden lifted and I heard, once again, that I am not to DO but to BE, and that my 'doing' is to pray for people. With that came a deep prayer, without judgment and with faith that God is present.
     I receive anew that prayer really matters, and that my call to pray for people is God given, Spirit inspired, and Jesus led. I heard that intercessory prayer needs physical, mental and spiritual time, that my life can’t be filled with projects on a to-do list, and that I can’t be busy, busy, busy.


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Lifting our burdens to God

3/5/2016

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Recently I heard of a man who, after thirty years, quit smoking. He had tried numerous times; he had tried every strategy possible; and he had tried praying--“Please help me, God.” Then one day he, lifted the burden to God, handing it over to God in complete surrender. And he stopped and hasn’t smoked in four years.
We all have situations we try to change but with poor results. We want to stop smoking except for that after-dinner cigarette; we want to eat healthy, but not when fries are on the menu; we want to stop gossiping, but not about that one person at the office; we want to stop drinking, but not on New Year’s Eve.
When we learn and come to believe that we can’t do it without God, we can then surrender and turn our addictions over to God. When our faith overpowers our will, we pray with deep conviction from the heart not the head; we lift our burden to God and surrender to God’s will be done in our life.


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Latest Centering Prayer report

3/1/2016

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My Centering Prayer intention continues. Other than missing one session this past Sunday, I have shown up twice a day for twenty minutes for the past seven weeks.
     Today I want to share two noticing with you. First of all, my belief in God has strengthen. God is in here in my heart not out there in my mind as an idea. Secondly, I am getting answers to questions and situations in my life that are God led, not Bobbi led. These responses are what God is calling me toward, not what I want to do. In other words, what God wants me to do, not what I want God to tell me to do. Subtle but in the paradigm shift category.



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