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  A Prayer Diary

Prayer of Invocation, December 28, 2014

12/30/2014

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Dear God,

We are here, not knowing if it is the beginning or the end.

We can be quite certain, however, that we are coming to the end of 2014 and that the beginning of 2015 will follow in three days.

But beyond that, beginnings and endings are confusing. Advent embraces the beginning of Jesus’ life; a beginning that we don’t want to end because we know what Jesus will go through; and yet, after the Crucifixion, comes a new, more permanent beginning, the Resurrection, a beginning that never ends.

Our church is continually experiencing beginnings and endings, births and deaths. This year in the Christmas Pageant the designated Baby Jesus was about four months old at the beginning of her life; following close behind appeared an undesignated, un-costumed one and a half year old angel who wandered up and down the aisle looking for Jesus or perhaps being Jesus. And the rest of us in the pews, young, middling, and beyond, were doing the same thing. We were try to follow Jesus, and we were trying to be like Jesus—something we often do, never certain which stance to take at a given moment, and most of the time failing miserably.

Yesterday in this sanctuary we experienced another ending and beginning. We said goodbye a dear friend and member of our church. It was the end of her 96 year-long earthy life, but the beginning of her eternal life with God.

As we start the beginning of a new year, dear God, help us to live with the ambiguities of our own particular endings and beginnings; help us to wander up and down the aisles of life trying to following Jesus, trying to be like Him.

Amen


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More lessons from Christmas~

12/26/2014

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Pictureand Women.
More lessons from Christmas this year: too much chatter, not enough silent spaces. The nativity stories in Luke and Matthew seem to suggest that a balance surrounded Jesus’ birth. The Gospel message is one of both—conversation and activity, and silence and simplicity. Throughout his life Jesus called for both-- feed the poor and pray. He never suggests that more conversation the better but again and again he tells us to go off by ourselves and pray. In John’s Gospel he rebukes Martha for her excessive activity, while acknowledging that Mary has chosen the better part.

    My Christmas had activity and silence, and for that I am very grateful; but sometimes I felt there was too much chatter. I understand that life out there in the world has to be active and conversational. Leaders must speak up and take action. Not everyone can retreat to Mt. Athos and lead a life of prayer. Feeding the poor takes planning, conversation and action. However, I wonder if we need the amount of chatter, gossip, critique, judgments that we all engage in in our personal lives? I wonder if we are adding to the negative energy out there in the world? What if everyone remained silent, for say a half hour? My Christmas lesson is to practice more of that.  


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Christmas Eve, again and anew~

12/24/2014

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New feelings about Christmas Eve this year. Our son and daughter-in-law are here; that’s all; no grandchildren; no stockings to be hung by the chimney at night. We will eat early so I can be at church by 6:30 to usher for the Candle Light Service. It’s just where I want to be, welcoming friends and strangers, listening to the bell ringers, hearing scripture that I know by heart, singing ” O Come All Ye Faithful”,  “O Little Town of Bethlehem”, and then “Silent Night” as we light candles and walk out into the wondrous night following the star.

     My memories of Christmas Eves are best moments in time. And tonight will be another best moment. Jesus is coming both again and anew.


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Pray without ceasing~

12/20/2014

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I get discourage every time I realize that I have forgotten God. I go along seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling and reacting and responding to everything through my Bobbi lens, and then, every so often, I become aware of God floating around in my presence. What bothers me is that I feel guilty about this pattern because the forgetting God segment is so huge.

      Why the guilt? Because somewhere I have settled onto the idea that I should be perfect, which would mean that I would think about God all the time. Today on my walk I realized the absurdity of it all, and for that I am very grateful. On the other hand, I continue to believe that by following the Way of the Pilgrim and praying without ceasing the Jesus Prayer, I will remember God and carry on with my life at the same time. It will be a different kind of completeness, not made up of parts. It will be a mystery, not described in words, but felt in my heart.

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Keeping watch, letting go~

12/18/2014

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Soon I will be off to be with two friends: my friend age 96 who is dying, and my friend, her daughter who is keeping watch. It will be a poignant yet peaceful time.

     Once someone has decided to let go and go to God, a canopy of calm surrounds the room. The struggle is over and the peace of God that passes all understanding floods every nook and cranny and embraces every soul.


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A musical weekend~

12/14/2014

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When I attend a concert, I create the excellent possibility that I can  get out of my head and into my heart. Yesterday I attended the Concord Chorus Concert featuring a healthy dose of Handel, along with “Dona nobis pacem” by Peteris Vasks,  and some guitar pieces by my friend Dave McLellan. I went with my friend Cheryl and as we drove over we both agreed that we were pretty wound up. After the concert, our mind/body/spirit was calm.

      Today that unwinding happened again, this time at the Annual Messiah Sing at my church. What a musical weekend. I should be set for the week.


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Volunteering at the Concord Prison~

12/11/2014

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I’m with my sisters in DC; fortunately Margot lives in the area and offers a five star B&B. Speaking for fortunate, I realize how very true that is for me. That being said, I’m aware that my being fortunate is based on my ‘luck’ of birth, and, how fragile that fortune is becoming. I am now part of the racial minority in this country. The walls are coming down. Why has it taken so long for me to hear Jesus’ message—feed the poor, don’t be like the scribes and Pharisees.

     So what to do? I’m considering volunteering at the Massachusetts Correctional Institution, referred to around here as the Concord Prison. I need to put that out there. Um, is that what God is calling me to?  



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Thank you, I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you~

12/8/2014

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A new prayer grouping has formed in my prayer book: families members who are estranged from one another, mainly grown children from their parents, but it can happen the other way.

    We all have had times when we have been close to our parents, and times when we have needed distance. Children need to get away to become independent, to become adults, and we know that some parent/child relationship are closer than others. All of this is part of the normal human condition.

    But it is not normal for grown children to cut themselves off and disappear from their parents. It is certainly a deep heartache for the parents, and I have to assume that it is also so for the children who have chosen to isolate themselves.

    God knows there are reasons, and thus much to forgive. I pray that everyone can make the leap to forgiveness, for when families are cut off from each other, time, which can never be regained, runs out. Grandchildren grow up, grown children get older, parents can count a limited number of remaining years, and the call comes too late.

    Here is some universal wisdom for a peaceful end: thank you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, forgive me, I love you. But don’t wait until the end; don’t wait until it’s too late.   



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Holy Spirit Handshake~

12/5/2014

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I’m back after a week long hiatus from blogging. If you’re interested you can catch up on how it went on my cottagebythesea.net blog.

     I may have taken a break from blogging, but not from praying. Once again I’ve been working on praying without ceasing, do my best to say the Jesus Prayer all the time—when pouring the coffee, getting the newspaper, putting the groceries away. When I do this,  prayer becomes a more vital part of me.

     Speaking of habit, I want to tell you about the Holy Spirit Handshake, which we learned from the granddaughter at a church member’s memorial service last week.

    It takes two people. Your hand faces the other person’s hand, not touching but close enough to feel the energy between them. Then place your hands to your heart.

     A great way to pass the peace, especially during flu season, but really good anytime.


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