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  A Prayer Diary

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life

3/26/2021

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Here are seven “I AM” sayings that the writer of John’s Gospel choses to describe ways that Jesus presents his divine nature to us. 
       “I am the bread of life” (John 6:35).
    “I am the light of the world” (John 8:12). 
    “I am the gate for the sheep” (John 10:7).
    “I am the good shepherd” (John 10:11).
    “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25).
    “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6).
    “I am the True Vine” (John 15:1).


    Although Jesus is all of those things to me, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6) is my default ‘I AM”. When my life is steady, which is it is most of the time, I call on Jesus to walk with me so I will be more honest, loving, generous, available, and humble, and thus be less self-centered. 
      The challenge is to remember that the “I” is Jesus, not me. Truth be told I want want my way, my truth, my life with Jesus as my disciple.

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Today's Road to Emmaus

3/16/2021

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     The other evening Brothers Jim and Sean (SSJE) shared some ways of thinking about story of The Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-34).  Like the two unnamed disciples, I am usually unaware that Jesus is present to me as I walk along the roads in my life, and yet at times I feel my ‘heart was burning’ (32). 
      Realizing that Jesus is with me, even when I am not conscious of it,  releases some of the thoughts about God that I have held onto for a long time—like my entire life! Now I’m hearing that  I don’t have to figure out how this all works, nor make up what God is saying to me, nor believe that God is only present when I am conscious of it.  I notice myself releasing some of the controls and conditions that as a human I’m quite good at creating and holding onto. All roads are Emmaus roads, if only we recognize them as such.

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Praying for grace and mercy

3/10/2021

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All this intercessory prayer chatter! Explaining a situation to God,  giving God choices, or worse, telling God what to do. Being called to pray gets me into these binds. I know they are binds because I don’t feel God is listening, much less responding to my directives, and the situation doesn’t improve or get solved to my liking. Furthermore, none of this leads me to a feeling of peace.
    So, I’m working on giving up on this way of chatting with God, especially when I go on and on and on. Instead, I’m praying for grace and mercy. I’m not chatting about it; I’m lifting it up. God and I seem to have a good understanding of what grace and mercy means between us we enjoy silence, solitude, and simplicity together.

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My Christian Midrash

3/3/2021

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One more thing about Nicodemus. At the end of John’s gospel the writer tells: There are also many other things that Jesus did; if every one of them were written down, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written (John 21: 24-25). 
      The idea of Jewish midrash has me considering what other conversations Jesus and Nicodemus might have had. Imagining such conversations helps me along my faith  journey with Jesus. Very likely, as I do, Nicodemus chatted in this head with Jesus—explaining what he was thinking, asking for help and guidance, lamenting and venting. If this was true for Nicodemus, if must have been so for Peter, for Lazarus, for Mary Magdalene, and for those not mentioned by name in the gospels. And so, conversation with Jesus must also be open to you and me. Christian midrash.

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