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  A Prayer Diary

Praying to let go of fear

2/23/2019

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​I’m back again, grappling with the news. What am I grappling with? Fear.
    Fear, the title of Bob Woodward’s recent book, sums up whose fear I’m talking about. Everyone’s! Trump’s and all his allies; me and all who are of my persuasion.
      I know that I can only manage my own fear, but how can I do that when I hear of hate talk that includes guns?
      “It’s all about guns, stupid,” I tell myself. But does that mean I get a gun, fight fire with fire, fight guns with guns?
     No! As a Christian, I know better than that.
     Thankfully, after acknowledging my fear, God appears and I hear, “It’s all about love, stupid.”
     I pray that I can pray for my enemies, which means praying that love enters everyone. Everyone includes those with guns, and people like me, who aren’t violent in physical ways, but who are violent in their judgments and in their anger of those who doesn’t agree with us.

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God shows no partiality~

1/10/2018

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PictureTypical functioning sink.
     Our downstairs pipes have thawed and water is running in the kitchen sink. When it happened, I was grateful—well, for a moment--but I quickly forgot about the inconvenience. ‘Fear not,’ we read. In fact, someone has conveniently counted some form of be not afraid 365 times in the Bible. No question, fear has been around a long time and is still very popular among us humans, but we seem to forget it when the good times roll.
     When our pipes froze, I wasn’t afraid in any major way, although I felt a tad of anxiety at the possibility of some flooding. Thankfully, however, I didn’t fret about this little thing. God protected me; may I remember to be not afraid when a big thing comes along. There is no difference; God shows no partiality.


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Fear not!

1/31/2017

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     It’s hard to stay peaceful and prayerful with all that’s going on in our country and around the world. Hard not to have legitimate fears about the well-being of individuals and families, both today, tomorrow, and well into the future.
    Jesus tells us, “Fear not.” In fact he tells us that more than anything else. “Fear not,” or “Be not afraid,” is the most common phrase in the Bible, very likely because it is so hard not to be afraid.  Clearly it is one of the most difficult directives in Scripture, and one of the most important, for when we are afraid we cannot love. We can learn to love and let go of fear through our heart not our mind. This is no intellectual endeavor. Centering prayer is a good place to start. Pray for an open heart, listen to God, and follow.


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Praying for 'inward peace'

11/17/2016

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     Amy Carmichael, a missionary in South India (1895-1951) wrote: It is good to remember that immediate answer to prayer is not always something seen, but it is always inward peace.
     I need to hear this. How hard it is to remember the basics of faith, which I sum up as inward peace and love, these days. Jesus tells us not to be afraid, a message purported to be mentioned in the Bible 365 times, one for each day of the year. When I read the paper and listen to the news and I get afraid. My heart, where prayer and inward peace abide, gets smothered by my mind.
     After centering prayer this morning, I heard that I must stay away from the news if I want to answer God’s call to pray. What is a connection between do not fear and enter through the narrow gate?
     This post is surely a work in process, and hopefully progress as well.


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Airport prayers~

10/11/2014

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Working one’s way through an airport, in our case from Boston to Chicago, is best done prayerfully. Wouldn’t you know it? My husband, who hates to fly, was confronted with all the annoying security check snags; his  boarding pass printed with his given and sir names reversed so we had to return to the ticket counter to get that straighten out; his glasses in his pants pocket set off the scanner alarm. Meanwhile, I, who if homeless would live in an airport, walked right through without a sound.

   In and of itself this wasn’t really a big deal; he managed just fine. At the moment it looks like an on-time take off on this gorgeous day. I continue praying to clear all that intense, often negative, airport energy.

    P. S. All is well. Along with marathonors from around the world, we made it to downtown Chicago where we are joined with family and friends to celebrate our son Tim’s marriage to Jill. Prayers of gratitude.


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You are not alone~

6/3/2014

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I’ve been praying for a long-time friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. At this point the prognosis isn’t clear, but with a cancer diagnosis there is always concern, life changes. Although we can’t be precise about how it will go, we know how important a positive attitude is. This friend has always been a church goer, and so I am praying that her faith will help her settle into a peace that passes all understanding.

     One of the reasons I was drawn to hospice work was my interest in how Christians deal with impending death as they walk into the valley of the shadow of death. Does their belief in an afterlife give them peace as they face death? Can they arrive at a conscious state where they feel no evil? Do they keep believing in heaven? Although each person’s answers and particularities are unique, one thing is constant. People facing death or difficult situations invariable say that the prayers of others help them know that they are not alone



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Meeting the stranger on my walk~

12/11/2013

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The other morning, while walking along the sidewalk to the beach, I passed a women who was shuffling along. As she turned to look at me I saw the saddest face. More than that, a face of despair. She look right at me as though she recognized me and was trying to come up with my name.

    I blurted out, “I don’t think I know you.”  She tried to respond but all that came out was a silent expression of grief.

     I put my hands together and said, “I will pray for you.” She nodded in relief, and I went on my way.

      What a moment! Christ was present in this woman; Christ was present in me; Christ was present between us. I didn’t feel I should stop, hear her the story, get more involved. But I have prayer for her and will continue to do so. Her ‘name’ written in my prayer book.



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Joys and concerns; where are the joys? 

10/13/2013

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How do I explain this without adding to the problem? Need I tell you about all the negativity that is being expressed in this country and throughout the world? We’re in a cycle where it seems that we start every conversation with what isn’t working, how bad it all is.

     Today the joys and concerns at church were particularly heavy. Cancer, surgery, sadness or all kinds. I don’t doubt their truth (I even contributed), but where were the joys? Were they not worth celebrating? Where was the balance?

     I’m not a Pollyanna, nor is my head in the sand. But I believe that we reap what we sow, that evil begets evil, that too much negativity can drag us down. I also have faith in a loving God, a God who greets us with gratitude. And so, I am going to greet each day with gratitude; and then as I continue along my way, I’m going to greet each person I meet with a joy. It will be my little contribution to helping us regain a realistic balance of joy and concern.

      Please join me in this little project. We can make a difference.

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God's kingdom rocks

6/26/2013

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Today I played Queen Esther at Kingdom Rock Summer Program at my church. How rewarding it was to hear the kids tell me ways to stand strong in front of the king. “You can do it,” they shouted as I parted to tell the him that I was a Jew and that his aide Haman was planning to kill all the Jews because they wouldn’t bow down to him.

      We all left church standing stronger today, knowing that God, family and friends help us do the right thing with confidence. God’s kingdom rocks.


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Praying together~

12/30/2012

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One of my ministries is to visit people from my church. Some are hospitalized or in rehab facilities, others are at home but can’t get out easily. I have no official capacity, nor is there any formal expectation that I will pray with them. However, I always go with the possibility that I may ask them if they’d like a prayer. I just wait for God to lead me. Usually these people welcome the invitation, relieved to be invited into this intimate relationship when two or more are gathered together.

      Why should this praying together be such a hurdle? After all, we worship together at church, chat at coffee hour, serve on committees with one another. Why should it be so difficult to pray together one-on-one during times of illness, when fear and loneliness are apt to come upon us, when we desperately long for God?  


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