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  A Prayer Diary

Do not be afraid~

12/30/2011

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Picture
Annunciation, by Fra Angelico
1 don’t like to consider the idea of fear when I’m in the holiday season. I want to be in consistent joy. However, the Christmas and Christian message is a lot about dealing with fear. Mary must have felt some when Angel Gabriel  visited; Joseph didn’t have an easy job on the way to Bethlehem; the wise men feared Herod—and we haven’t even gotten through the first two chapters of Luke. In the Gospels, though parable and action, Jesus helps us with ways to conquer fear.

     Our faith just doesn’t let us forget that in order to embrace the message of joy, we have to face pain--our own, that of those we know and love, and the of the world. We need to go through this fearful pain in order to come to the epiphany that we do not need to be afraid because God is with us. Jesus had to experience the Crucifixion before the Resurrection. So do we. 

        “Oh, come oh come Emmanuel.”

Luke 1.30


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Peace in dying~

12/29/2011

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I’m not afraid of death. In fact, I spend a fair amount of time, as the expression goes, dealing with the death issue. I can visit with the dying because I believe and have come to know that they are surrounded by the peace of God that passes all understanding. I saw this time and time again when I was a spiritual care counselor for hospice.God was always there accompanying the dying into the mystery of the next unknown.

     However, I don’t have the same certainty about the myriad circumstance surrounding death. Each death is different. God shows no partiality. Recently I attended the funeral of a 57 year old woman who, in the space of a week, went from not feeling well to dying in the hospital. Then there is a friend, also in her late 50’s, who has entered hospice after a six month cancer diagnosis. And what about my mom, who slowly and peacefully went to God at age 101? All very different experiences, and thus different grieving for each of the families. For the loved ones of the dying, the peace of God seems less certain. It may not be apparent the God is with them, but I have to believe God is there in the whirl wind or in the small voice.  



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From Christmas nostalgia to hope~

12/26/2011

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There’s no easy way to get away from Christmas nostalgia. Even if you turn off the radio so you don’t have to hear Bing sing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” or  “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” one more time, memories of childhood Christmases pour in. Remember the time when you got just what you wanted? From my grandmother I remember the play soda fountain that I had starred four times in the F.A.O Schwarz catalog. Fortunately, my memory of the year when one of our sisters got the big gift is mighty dim and even brings a smile.

      But as Martin B. Copenhaver wrote today in “Still Speaking”, the Christian message is not one of nostalgia, but one of hope, for, yes, the best is yet to come. How comforting this is. Sure, I have wonderful Christmas memories, memories that fill my heart, memories never to be forgotten, memories that enrich my faith. But the Christmas message of the hope of things to come, of things not seen, transforms nostalgia into hope that will never end, no matter where we are on life’s journey.

      I saw this hope live in my mom right up until the end of her 101 years, and I believe it is with her now. God doesn’t leave us during this life, nor did God leave Mom when she took her last breath. Nothing nostalgic about that!! It’s hope that never dies.

 

From “Still Speaking,” December 26, 2100, by Marten B. Copenhaver. [email protected]

“In either case, nostalgia is always suspect from a Christian point of view. That's because we affirm that the good old days--even when they really were good--are nothing compared to what God has in store for us. Even the triumphs and joys of the past will be surpassed by what is to come. That is the understanding that allows the Apostle Paul to testify:  "This one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead."”



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Finding spiritual time~

12/23/2011

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Isn’t it strange, no, alarming, that as Christmas sneaks closer, the true meaning creeps away. The groceries take up all the room on my kitchen counter; putting them away and cooking them up swallows up all my time, or so it seems. It doesn’t have to be this way. Sure the busyness of the holidays takes up much of our physical and psychic time, but with just a tiny change of heart we can allow spiritual time take over and express the Christmas message of love in everything we do. Worth praying for.


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Christmas caroling~

12/21/2011

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Christmas is coming. If you’re not certain, go and sing Christmas carols at your local nursing home facilities. That where many of us from church found ourselves gathered for the past two evenings. Although we went to sing to a particular church member, the cheer immediately spread out to all who were living together in their current home away from home--most with memories more vivid than the routine of their every day activities.

      These women and men, many of whom have limited mobility and fading memories, immediately joined the singing. The Christmas carols that they had learned as children and had sung throughout the years came forth from deep within them. In fact, many knew the words better than we did. Who knows what they were remembering or perhaps missing? Maybe they didn’t even know.      

          Memories can be both bitter and sweet, but the smiles and singing that came forth from these folks was the Christ’s message of the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4.7).

 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4.7


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Best Christmas Pageant Ever~

12/18/2011

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Picture
by Rogier van der Weyden
       Today at church, as in many churches throughout the country, it was “Christmas Pageant Sunday”. Little children dressed up as angels, shepherds or kings; older children read snippets from the Gospel’s of Luke and Matthew; and everyone sang Christmas carols. The kids were ‘with the program’ to the best of their concentrating ability. Well, what do you expect from a two and a half year old angel? Parents, particularly alert for a Sunday morning, were taking pictures while giving the ‘parent eye’ to their little angel. Well, what do you expect from a proud parent?   

      I wasn’t personally involved in any of this, but there I was, surprised to find myself tearing up about my mom. I was missing being with her during the Christmas season, and remembering that she and I shared a faith. Gratitude and memories, gifts of the Christmas pageant.

       (Sorry I didn’t take any photos in church.)



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Please answer me, God.

12/15/2011

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The Standing Post was still there today.
If I am God’s project, why am I making a project out of God?

If God has called me, why am I shouting for God?




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Thinking about compassion~

12/14/2011

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Today I’m thinking about compassion. We all like to think of ourselves as compassioned people, but I must confess, my level of compassion varies. Case in point: it is easy for me to express compassion when I see pictures of people starving on the other side of the world. I know how to act and look compassionate, which I show in my face and through a few well-practiced words from that ‘Lexicon of Compassion’ booklet that we all know about. Please, I don’t mean to sound cynical, but, truth be told, expressing compassion for those I don’t know, especially if I can’t do much for them (other than send money), is, to borrow from Bonhoeffer, ‘cheap compassion’. Not to be given up, but to be acknowledge for its limitations.

    The challenge for me is when the call for compassion is in direct competition with my own ego needs. For example, here I am at my cottage by the sea following my bliss. But what about the friend who is lonely?  No, she doesn’t need money. She would appreciate a face to face visit. Sometimes compassion calls for action.

    There is much to say about compassion, but for today I’ll end by saying a word about its relationship to prayer. I believe that prayer leads me closer toward compassion. If I feel no compassion, prayer will open my heart. If I have excessive compassion, prayer will right the balance; if I have lost my compassionate spirit, prayer will return it to me. Compassion shows God working prayerfully through me.


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Ronald Rolheiser and the struggle with contemplation

12/12/2011

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Can you see the two gulls?
I’m still reading The Shattered Lantern: Rediscovering A Felt Presence of God,  by Ronald Rolheiser; still reading and rereading very slowly, just a small section at a time, like a meditation. Rolheiser thesis: “our struggle with unbelief, the struggle to make God more real in ordinary life, is really a struggle with contemplation,” which he says is distorted by “narcissism, pragmatism, and excessive restlessness.” Needless to say, all three of these distortions get in the way of my contemplation, of my leading a prayerful life.

    Today at the cottage I’m considering restlessness. I came out on the deck with my lunch, promising myself that I would sit and be in the moment, savoring my soup and sandwich, delighting in the beauty of the clear sunny day-- contemplating God. I made it through, but my task became one of contending with my restlessness more than resting in contemplation. Mentally, I had to tie myself to the chair so I wouldn’t start reading or writing. In other words, my restlessness was in wanting to do something, a theme of mine for the past three seasons at the cottage, no, actually for my entire life. Not a bad way to be, but as Rolheiser suggests, excessive restlessness keeps us from God.

     My gull friends know how to relax and be in the moment. They sat perched on the rocks during my entire lunch time. No excessive restlessness for them. Were they contemplating? That’s a question I won’t get into.


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Messiah Sing

12/11/2011

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The Messiah Sing at church this afternoon was a prayer worth singing about.

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