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  A Prayer Diary

Compassion from the heart~

12/30/2016

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     Today is my birthday. On Face Book I asked my friends to send me the title of a book they thought I’d enjoy. I’m on a reading binge and am planning to join the Goodreads Reading Challenge, committing to reading 52 books in 2017. I’ve received many suggestions and if any of you want to send me a title, I’d love to hear from you either via email (bobbifisher.mac@mac.com) or as a blog comment. Later in January I’ll post the list.
     I’ve already begun, finishing THE CLASS CASTLE and starting HALF BROKE HORSES, both by Annette Walls. These two books, along with the provocative titles suggested by my friends, are leading me toward new spiritual insights, specifically toward compassion. Not more compassion but compassion from the heart rather than the head.
     Life isn’t about getting it perfect, but doing the best we can with what we’ve been dealt, which is never a full house. The people we read about in story, be it fiction or memoire, show us how to cope, overcome and be resurrected. They find God in the midst because God is there for them. Jesus didn’t have it easy, so why should we ever imagine we will live in a glass house? But by his example as the Resurrected One, we can have such moments in our own life when there is light and clarity. We play with the hand we’re dealt, but Jesus is there to give us new cards. He’s the best dealer I know.


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Give thanks in all circumstances~

12/26/2016

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Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess 5:17-18).
 
I love this scripture. In fact, pray without ceasing is my favorite. What intrigues me is the little preposition in, and the little adjective all. Give thanks in all circumstance.
It’s not easy to do that. Do I even want to in the midst of horrendous situations? Can I even remember at those difficult moments? My answer is no and no, but I am called to keep trying. That’s why I practice gratitude during the good times. Hopefully the habit will stay with me when things get tough.


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No more 'Doubting Thomas'

12/20/2016

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Tomorrow, December 21, the church recalls and gives thanks to St. Thomas, known to us as ‘Doubting Thomas.” Yesterday, I started celebrating him early. I was totally into my head about God, Jesus, Christmas, and about what God wants me to DO. My heart had left my body. This morning the unnecessary head stuff is gone. Maybe it was the caroling with my church yesterday evening. Singing opens the heart.
My prayer is that tomorrow I will give thanks to St. Thomas without having to reenact his doubting words to the disciples in the upper room, or his experience with Jesus eight days later (John 20:24-29).


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"Wow, that's a lot, God."

12/14/2016

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My last two days here! What does God want me to do with them? How does God want me to be? This is what I heard as I walked around the city this morning. and as I sit here relishing my second cappucchino of the day. 1) Keep noticing things for which to be grateful. 2) Stay in the present. 3) Pray one last time in your favorite churches. 4) Pray for you enemies. 5) Immediately release all judgments. 6) See Christ in everyone you pass on the street. 7) Enjoy creation. 8) Be grateful.
“Wow, that’s a lot, God.”


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Walking in the rain in Florence~

12/14/2016

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     As I have explained previously, sometimes I have thoughts about God to add to my cottagebythesea post. Since its focus is on silence, solitude, and simplicity, and speaks to those who are ‘spiritual but not religious,’ however, I add them here on aprayerdiary before repeating the CBTS blog post.
      Today I have more to say about a rainy day.

    I believe that those who long for solitude, and then make a concerted, consistent, and serious effort to attain it, are called to a spiritual/religious way of living. Examining childhood memories of times alone, helps crystallize this call. As we know, our childhood is not separate from our life today; we are now reaping what was sown.
    As a child I was most content playing alone on a rainy day. In fact, playing alone were my happiest times. I didn’t use of God language, but I felt peaceful, free, open, accepted, loving, and whole; all qualities God wants for us. Now in my seventies, I feel the grasp of those same qualities when I walk with God. I am the person God wants me to be when I take extended periods of time alone. That’s why I come to Florence. For that, I am very grateful. And once again, I am very grateful for my mom.
 
     It’s raining here. Hearing the rain this morning while sitting in Santa Trinita activated vivid memories of those rainy days of my childhood, those days called latency before imaginative play becomes tempered by hormones. On such Saturdays or summer days I always knew my mom would give me the entire rainy day to live alone in my world. She never pried or spied; she had deep respect for the individual’s journey and knew that privacy was a necessary ingredient.
     A rainy day continues to catapult me back to childhood. Those memories energize the spiritual longing I have now. I have always been walking with God, knowing that rain is serious, rain is profound, and rain is hopeful. I walk and play in it, and then embrace a sunny day.


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Prayer walk in Florence

12/12/2016

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       I want to share yesterday’s cottagebythesea blog post about my morning walk to some of the churches in Florence. Every morning I start the day with a prayer walk before prayer in a church. This walk took a little longer than the usual hour, but as usual I stopped for a cappucchino along the way. Here are only five churches due to technical difficulty adding pictures to the slideshow.

     Even though I am living in this city for only two weeks, right now it is my home. So I decided to take an early morning walk to survey the exteriors of the major churches that have been a large part of the city’s history and that draw me here. These churches as we know them today were built, often on preexisting foundations, toward the end of the thirteen century to accommodate a rising city population. Although subsidized by city government, many represented a particular religious order.
     I started at Santa Maria dei Fiori, stopping along the way to take pictures of each façade, and to enjoy a couple of cappucchini. Santa Croce was my last stop.
Santa Marie dei Fiori: Cathedral church of Florence
Santissima Annunziata: Servites
San Marco: Domenican
Santa Maria Novella: Domenican
Ognisanti: Umilita
Santa Maria del Carmine: Carmelite
Santo Spirito: Augustinian
Santa Trinita: Vallumbrosan
Santi Apostoli
Badia Fiorentina: Fraternity of Jerusalem
Santa Croce: Franciscan


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Praying at La Badia

12/11/2016

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   La Badia is open for prayer every day but Monday. The liturgy is sung; the rest of the time is silent. There is always a volunteer, sister, or brother present, holding the space for those worshipping. The other morning I was the only person there other than a woman volunteer. In the midst of the silence she came to me and, in Italian, told me a long story about needing to leave to call her doctor and would I stay there. She departed and soon reappeared to continue her story and then look for one of the brothers so she could leave. Moments later a brother came in and knelt in prayer, and the woman left.
    What might I discern from this small happening? That I am part of this community just by being their daily. Maybe the woman has seen me before, or maybe she trusted me from the energy. God energy is more powerful and pervasive that we can articulate. It’s beyond understanding, but we know it when we feel it. God energy is expressed through prayer.
    Can you imagine the energy in the world if everyone prayed? Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. This idea profoundly appeals to me. It is the reason I have chosen not to pay attention to the news, but to pray the news. It’s another way of holding the space.


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Living at San Marco

12/10/2016

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     The other day I returned to my favorite, non-church prayer spot, the Convent of San Marco. On this visit I was able to be in more the moment in those cells because I didn’t take many pictures (archived from past visits). Thus it was easy to picture myself living there in simplicity, free of chattels and too much to do. I’d be dividing my time between gazing at the Fra Angelico fresco in my cell, and looking out the widow onto the cloister.
    If my cell contained the painting of Jesus and Mary Magdalene in the garden after the Resurrection, I would be very grateful--along with, I must admit, a tad of vain glory. On the other hand, if my fresco was one of those of the crucifixion (and good chance since there are many), I’d pity myself and probably plot to change my room. Ridding myself of jealousy, anger, privilege would be the challenge. “Thou shalt not covet.” All of those sins; where there is one, there’s bound to be others.
Dreaming is okay. Being grateful for whatever God has giving me is where I want to be. Right now, I am in Florence, and I am very grateful for that.


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The birth of Mary~

12/9/2016

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     Before I reflect some more on Mary I want to set the record strait. Last night while enjoying a glass of wine as we awaited the lighting of the Christmas tree by the Duomo, my Baptist friend informed me that this December 8th feast day was about Mary’s immaculate birth.
Here’s what Wikipedia tells us:
     “The Immaculate Conception, according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, was the conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the womb of her mother, Saint Anne, free from original sin by virtue of the foreseen merits of her son Jesus Christ.”
    Who knows the truth of Mary’s immaculate birth or the virgin birth of Jesus. From a spiritual perspective, there is no point in getting hung up about the truth of them. In fact, a scientific perspective would weigh on the side of ‘No.’ But the point is to offer through story the truths we are strive for, namely, ‘To love God with all our mind, heart and soul, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.’ These are the words of Jesus, born of a woman who started out with a pure mind, heart, and soul.
     The lighting of the tree was brilliant and Mary’s love permeated the crowds.


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Mary saying, "Thy will be done."

12/8/2016

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     This morning I was out of the apartment a little after 7. I walked along the Arno, and wound my way past Santa Croce to La Badia, my favorite prayer church in Florence. I love hearing the monks and nuns sing Matins. It is all about the Holy Spirit, which is what I preciously need in order to get rid of judgments and critique, which are barriers to prayer. When I analyze what should be done, I am praying ‘My will be done,’ not ‘Thy will be done.’
     On this important day in Italy, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, people were praying to Mary. Although doing so is not in my Protestant tradition, I am learning to appreciate Mary. There she is, saying ‘Thy will be done.’


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