Blog Archives

Thomas Merton embraces gratitude

2/28/2014

In spit of various internet difficulties, I’ve been staying very grateful, and for that I am also very grateful. Think about it! If I’m mad at God about technology, like God cares or is even remotely responsible, what do I say when human difficulties come along? Difficulties such as cancer, alcoholism, gun violence, poverty?

     Whatever the circumstance, Thomas Merton embraces gratitude.

My Lord God,

            I have no idea where I am going.
            I do not see the road ahead of me
            Nor do I really know myself,
            And the fact that I think I am following your will
            Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

            But I believe the desire to please you
            Does in fact please you.
            And I hope I never do anything apart from that desire.
            And I know that if I do this,
            You will lead me to the right road
            Though I may know nothing about it.

            Therefore I will trust you always though
            I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
            I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
            And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone. Amen

Listening to Constance Demby~

2/26/2014

Yesterday a writer friend came for tea. We had a marvelous, conversation about life and about our writing. I was totally energized, but then, by 7, I felt incredibly sleepy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open to read, and yet it was too early to go to bed. I also felt very content and complete, and so I lit the candle my friend had given me, and sat in the chaise on ‘the deck’, listening to Sacred Space Music by Constance Demby. I usually keep the cottage silent, but last evening God seemed very present in the music.

Parental blessing~

2/24/2014

My dad would have been 109 on February 20th; he left us in 1984 but the memories are palpable. The last thing he said to me was, “Oh, Bobbi, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re my spiritual director.” I had come to visit, which I did every few weeks toward the end, and he was still up and about and very cognizant of what was happening to him (prostrate cancer). I don’t know which memory is more vivid, his words or his smile and welcoming outstretched arms as he walked across the yard to greet me. Blessings, for sure.

Snow benefits~

2/21/2014

Like everyone else around here, yesterday morning my car was buried in snow and my windshield wipers frozen solid. Of course I turned them on before attempting to thaw them loose, and out they popped—out as in not attached at all. This sunny morning I located an automotive repair shop and drove the two miles for help. In five minutes the owner had snapped everything into place.

    “What do I owe you?
    “Not a thing. Glad to help you out.”
    “Thank you. Do you have anyone you would like me to pray for?”
    “Yes, please pray for my son.”
    “What’s his name?”
    “Nicholas. He just got back from his third tour in Iraq. He has troubles.”
    “I’ll put him on my list. Thanks again.”

     If you have a moment, please offer a prayer for Nicholas, and for all the other service people who are ‘in trouble’.

Jesus loves you from the beach~

2/19/2014

Yesterday, between snow storms, I walked the beach. High tide was waving in so the expanse of sand was limited. But never too limited for treasure. The day’s treasure was a rock with “Romans 6:23” written on it. I pick it up, turned it over and there it was, the Sunday school message that lasts a lifetime: “Jesus loves you.”

The beach was empty of people except for a couple way up at the end; maybe they had just left the rock, for it was clean and un-weathered. I put it in my pocket and headed home to open my Bible. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Probably not the scripture I would have chosen. Um, maybe just the scripture I should prayer on.

This rock is not mine to keep. It will sit with me here at the cottage for a few days and then I’ll return it to the beach. Maybe I’ll paint my own rock to leave about, but for now, this one is enough.

 Desiderata, by Max Ehrmann

2/17/2014

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

 Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

Prayer of peace~

2/15/2014

One of my ‘best’ prayers for people is that they find peace in a difficult situation and thus radiate that peace out to others. Right now I’m praying for a friend whose grown son is about to undergo complicated surgery to remove a malignant tumor in his stomach. I’m not saying that it is easy, or even possible, to be calm in such a situation. On the other hand, her son doesn’t need an agitated mother to worry about, thus piling worry upon worry. He needs a mother to accompany him, no matter what. As a Christian my friend has the grace of knowing God’s redemptive power through Jesus Christ. That’s where her prayer, my prayer, all prayer finds hope.

God shows no partiality~

2/13/2014

Did you ever notice that when you start praying for someone in a particular situation, the others often get short changed, or worse still, lost in the shuffle? Yours friend needs prayers, but what about her alcoholic husband? Or what’s happening to the person with Alzheimer while you’re so busy praying for her caregiver? A divorce is announced and we take sides.

When we make the shift to pray for everyone in a given situation, an amazing thing happens. We stop judging. We realize that we don’t know the whole story, nor do we need to know it. I believe that this is when prayer is begins, prayer that God hears. After all, God shows no partiality. God reigns equally on the just and the unjust.

Merton on humility~

2/11/2014

Slowly, very slowing I am working my way through ‘The Journals of Thomas Merton.’ I’m still on Volume One 1939-1941. At this point in my reading, Merton is planning to become a priest but is still teaching at Columbia in NYC. Here’s what struck me yesterday.

“I wish nobody had ever told me it was a good thing to attempt to know myself…. Knowing myself—it was really a sort of desperate substitute for confession and penance. That’s why it was so silly and so lamentably useless. For the only valid kind of self-knowledge is the amount needed for a good examination of conscience to make a good confession. But both these are something God will give us if we pray humbly to Him for grace and love, and the important thing is God’s love, not ourselves and what is in us. We don’t want to know what is in ourselves in order to dwell upon it, treasure it, meditate upon it unless it is not of ourselves but of God. So everything that is of our own worldly desire and fear must be cast out so that we can see God within us and everywhere outside of us too. What we want to know is not ourselves but God” (p. 96).

Here’s what I’m thinking today. Merton is talking about humility, something I am mighty short on. He’s talking about a paradigm shift, not some self-effacing way to present myself, some mask that poses as humility but is really pride and vain glory. Humility is about accepting God’s grace and acting on it for the good of God’s kingdom.

"Isn't prayer wonderful?"

2/8/2014

Today a friend and I were talking about some good outcomes to situations that for which we had been praying. I was focused on the details—what people did and said-- until she said, “Yes, isn’t prayer wonderful?”

The power is in the prayer itself, not in our words or in specifics we might get into with God. In fact, it is very likely all our chatter could get in the way. It is the lifting up, the giving it over to God that is wonderful.