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  A Prayer Diary

Gratitude and a cup half full~

6/23/2017

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Again, I am sharing this acottagebythesea post (for people who are looking for silence, silence, and solitude and who sometimes like to be alone) with you who read my aprayerdiary (thoughts about prayer and my Christian journey).
 
Sometimes I wonder about keeping up this blog—like right now, and especially during the past two weeks since my return from Scotland. While on my trips, I feel I have something to share about solitary travel, as well as pictures of far away place to delight my armchair traveling readers. But when I get home, a writing lull sets in; I don’t need the socializing that writing offers me when I’m alone.
And then, what do I have to say that is new, interesting, or worthwhile? Here are some quick answers that just came to mind as I wrote that question. Writing helps me figure out what I’m doing and why; posting gives me meaning and purpose. If that’s true for me, it must be true for you who read the blog (over 100 a day). You must be gleaning something from my thoughts about silence, solitude, and simplicity. I knows some of you, but not many. I like to believe that this blog joins us together mysteriously in positive ways, if for no other reason that I am committed to write from a seat of gratitude with a cup half full always by my side.
 
Here’s my Christian thoughts on the topic.
For a moment, let us consider that Jesus’ ministry was a kind of blogging. In preaching to the crowds, he did two things that resonate with my purpose in speaking out. He was trying to figure out what God was calling him to do and be out in the world— his meaning and purpose. And, he was sharing with others what he believed to be of value and benefit for them—their meaning and purpose.
Did Jesus ever wanted to stop his ministry? I don’t have an answer to that, but scripture tells us that it was hard work. The good news for all of us is that Jesus tells us to go off by ourselves, to spend time alone with God, and to pray.
    
 


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Forgiveness is from the heart

6/13/2017

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     Lately I’ve been thinking about forgiveness, but I must admit nothing new has come to mind; just questions and feelings. Maybe forgiveness has no definitive definition or modus operandi; maybe it is found in the heart.
     Whenever I hear of a situation in which someone asks (insists) that someone apologize as a condition for forgiveness, I get confused. Who is to forgive whom? Does it matter who forgive first? Does the other person have to accept the forgiveness to legitimize the transaction? Is transaction the right word to us?Whew, I give up! Too much language, too much in my head.
     Here’s today’s simple thought. I can’t make someone else forgive; I’m only in charge of what I can forgive, which is contingent on what is in my heart. A place to start is to explore the likely possibility that I have to forgive myself. It might be something I have specifically done—that’s the easy part. Very likely it includes an attitude of judgment, superiority, pride, jealousy—you know the list. As Jesus tells us: take the log out of your own eye first.
     Then, maybe, but maybe not, say, “I forgive you; please forgive me,” and leave it at that!



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Love, not violence~

6/6/2017

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    Here is Scotland there is intense solidarity with those who experienced the mayhem in Manchester and London. I just watched the replay on BBC of a live Pentecost service led by Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury and with worship leaders Matt Redman and Tim Hughes at Holy Trinity Church, Folkestone. It was a powerful example of races/cultures/economic backgrounds, and faith communities joining together. In this case it was different Christian traditions, but regardless, the common denominator is love. 
   No question, those who commit violent crimes have lost their moral compass. But I don’t want to take the stance that it is ‘me versus them’ because then I forget that they are human being, too. Although I have little fear that I could ever reach that point of violence, I do know that anger, prejudice, and arrogance gets the better of me from time to time. That why I pursue this faith journey; it gets me out of my head and into my heart. I wonder if too much intellectualizing can send us down the slippery slope toward the bully platform, where it’s all about me, violence is acceptable, and humility has no home.


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Seeing the world through Jesus' lens~

6/4/2017

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    I’m sitting this morning in an Edinburgh café sipping coffee and enjoying a butter croissant. My writing is going well. Each day I post about it on my cottagebythesea blog. Today after church at St. Andrews and St. George West  Church near St. Andrew’s Square I’ll meet a friend for lunch. My days are grace filled.
     How easy to see my life through this grace-filled lens, to stop there and wallow in the blessings God has given me, and thus allow vain glory to creep in. The way I see it, vain glory is the sin of believing that God has singled me out for a special relationship, more special than God has done with others because I am so wonderful. No wonder vain glory is at the top of the sin continuum, separating us from God more than such sins as pride, envy, wrath, gluttony, lust, sloth and greed. Why? Because it removes us from thy will be done, replacing it with my will be done.
     I feel God calling me to view the world through a different lens. I see homeless men (and a few women) begging on the streets here in Edinburgh. On Iona Mark Braverman, a Christian Jew (author of A Wall in Jerusalem) spoke about the sin of violence against the poor and the refugee that is accepted and normalized in the name of religion. President Trump is neglecting human rights in his foreign policies, and choosing not to speak out against hate crimes in our country. My home church cut its outreach to the poor in order to balance the budget.
     Jesus saw the Roman Palestine of his times through the eyes of the oppressed, the poor, the powerless. If I am to follow Jesus, my gaze must go there, too. This is a humbling thought, with no place for vain glory, but definitely grace filled. I feel God is leading me to something new.
"Speak, for your servant is listening," 1 Samuel 3:10.


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Heartfelt service in Edinburgh

6/2/2017

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     Yesterday I attended the 12:30 Communion service at St. John’s Episcopal church here in Edinburgh. The church is located at the west end of Princes Street Gardens and adjacent to the Parish of St. Cuthbert, the oldest Christian site in the city. The service was held in the Mary Chapel, with four of us in attendance. And yet, it was the most intimate of services. The rector offered many categories of prayers and left time for us to pray through our hearts.
     There is something comforting about the familiarity of the Communion service from the Book of Common Prayer, regardless of the Rite chosen for the day. Although I am not Episcopalian, I have attended Eight O’clock Eucharist often enough to allow the words into my heart. This morning these words came to me: Make in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me.
     After the service, as I walked through the garden, a renewed sense of the meaning of heartfelt came to me.


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