I’m here at the cottage praying that I’m doing what God’s wants of me, praying that I will keep hearing God, etc., etc. etc. “Too much talk,” I tell myself.
I think I should be here, but I also feel I am letting people down at church. We are helping drive an elderly couple to their doctor appointments, and I’m not there to take my turn or to fill in for last minute requests.
“How will they ever do without me?” I ask…. “Um, there’s my ‘savior complex’ appearing again.”
I’m not writing this expecting any of you to come up with the answer for me. Rather, I’m writing to give you an idea about how someone thinks and prays through with this kind of spiritual dilemma, for I trust that most of you reading this go through something same but different. I write this blog so that you and I are not alone in this on this faith journey. Hearing someone else’s mental chatter might help you along the way, and if nothing else it sure helps me to put it out there.
So here’s where things stand at the moment. 1) I’ve taken care of any logistics I can about the rides; 2) I’ve turned off my email for the day; 3) I’ve taken most of the morning for prayer and meditation--centering prayer and have prayed my prayer list; 4) I’m about to walk the beach, doing my best to stay in the present moment.
I think I should be here, but I also feel I am letting people down at church. We are helping drive an elderly couple to their doctor appointments, and I’m not there to take my turn or to fill in for last minute requests.
“How will they ever do without me?” I ask…. “Um, there’s my ‘savior complex’ appearing again.”
I’m not writing this expecting any of you to come up with the answer for me. Rather, I’m writing to give you an idea about how someone thinks and prays through with this kind of spiritual dilemma, for I trust that most of you reading this go through something same but different. I write this blog so that you and I are not alone in this on this faith journey. Hearing someone else’s mental chatter might help you along the way, and if nothing else it sure helps me to put it out there.
So here’s where things stand at the moment. 1) I’ve taken care of any logistics I can about the rides; 2) I’ve turned off my email for the day; 3) I’ve taken most of the morning for prayer and meditation--centering prayer and have prayed my prayer list; 4) I’m about to walk the beach, doing my best to stay in the present moment.
RSS Feed