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  A Prayer Diary

Praying in Florence

3/24/2022

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Why do we become stuck in the belief that prayer happens best when we are in a church, or when we sit down in some pious way in some quiet spot? Thankfully I’m moving away from those ideas as the only or best prayer ways.             
    Yes, I have some  favorite player churches here in Florence, but the entire city is becoming a favorite prayer landscape. In the parks I can be thankful for God’s creation. Every person I pass along the Arno can receive God’s love through me. My prayers for Ukraine feel pure and hopeful, as a walk along with God and God walks along with me. Try it!

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Who is God in Edinburgh?

6/19/2019

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     As I walk the streets of Edinburg I carry Krish Kandiah’s question in my mind and heart: Who is God?
       I ask it as I smile at the statues of Oog Willie placed throughout the city. Who is God for the designers of these hopeful statues celebrating children.

      

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​       I ask it as I enjoy fish and chips and a beer. Who is God for me, so fortunate to be able to take this trip?
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​       I ask it as I watch waiters and waitresses clear tables. Who is God for people who have steady jobs? 
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​I asked it yesterday as I wandered Inchcolm Island in the Firth of Forth. Who was God for the Augustinian monks who lived here from the 400s to 1450? 
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           I ask it as I pass homeless men and women on every block of Princes Street, along the Royal Mile, and places in between. Who is God for those whose home is the street?
      I offer no photos, not because I want to avoid the sadness of it all, but in deference to these human beings. I am a tourist but these folks, with their blankets and jars where I can place a coin, are not tourist attractions.
    Who is God for them? Who is God for me as I walk by, sometimes dropping a coin, but usually ‘passing by on the other side’?


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Obsessed with prayer~

11/10/2018

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Here I am again, working through my ongoing conundrum about prayer. How does it all work? Is there a right way to pray? The questions take many forms. I’ll probably keep writing about this until I get it right, which will never be, so either put up with me, or find some other blog to capture you interest. The name of this blog, however, shouldn’t fool you. I’m obsessed with prayer; writing about it helps. So here I go again.
 
     When praying for people in a difficult situations, is there a right or better way to it? Sometimes we are asked to pray for specific results, such as for cancer cure (doesn’t give God any wiggle room). I understand the humanness of that I one, and at times I feel comfortable telling God what to do. But, really, that is more about God and me than about God and the person being prayed for.
      In other prayers we ask for good to happens, such as that medical staff use wisdom. That makes sense because I believe that God, as love, wants us to do our loving, compassionate best  and wants the best for all of us.
     The prayer I feel most called to offer is to lift people to the light as I image them walking with God. I both figurative and literally step out of God’s way, and open up energy for that light to shine (that’s what I think I’m doing). I have NO idea what God plans for anyone, but I trust that it is of the good.
      What keeps me going with the prayer obsession is my belief that we co-create with God, that we live in community with God, and that the universe needs our prayer/love. God has no power all by God’s self.
       So I pray as though life depends on it, and that my prayer makes all the difference. It sure does for me. My guidelines: pray in faith: be positive and loving.


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Walking around Florence with God--again~

1/17/2016

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Walking around with God in Florence should be easy. Solitude in a beautiful, safe city with good karma and feng shui. The challenge is mine, and not any different than at any other time or place in my life. I just have to remember, remember God, remember that that’s what I doing, walking around with God.
     Sometimes I ask myself why I have to do all the remembering--how self-centered to think I have to do it all. The part that God plays is beyond anything that I can imagine. I only have to do the part I know, and have faith God will do the rest.
      Rilke tells us to ‘live the question.’ In this case I’m going to ‘live the answer,’ which is that God is remembering and that with both us remembering, we’re a great team.


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Prayer and a yipping dog in a car~

8/20/2015

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On today’s cottage by the sea blog I wrote about a dog who yipped at me from a passing car while I was on my walk. I was startled, scared, and although I knew I was completely safe, I felt attacked. The feeling stayed with me all the way home and created enough energy for me to write about it on both blogs.

    How do I pray about this? Is it even worth a prayer? For whom do I pray? For whom do I ask forgiveness? Myself? The dog? The driver of the car?  Is this worth all the energy I’m putting into it?

     After sitting in silence, I’m hearing, most clearly, to let it go. But why was I attacked? I’m also hearing that I may be startled again, maybe by the very same dog, in the very same car, on the very same road. Many none of the above will happen.



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Thy, not my, will be done~

8/17/2015

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Although I believe that the best intercessory prayer is some version of Thy will be done (such as Here it is God), I admit that it is difficult to get myself to a place where I can let go of all my judgments that get in the way of praying with purity of heart. In other words, how to pray Thy will be done with really meaning my will be done. It is a challenge that all of us have, that even Jesus had. How to remove the human me and pray from my divine self!


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What do you want of me today, God?

1/3/2015

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      During my morning prayer time I’ve been asking God what plans God has for me for the day: “What do you want of me today?” I ask.

    Lately I’ve heard some version of the following: write the book about you and your mother; spend time praying for people; whenever you find yourself thinking or saying negative thoughts, let them go.

     There are others, but these seem to be the one’s God wants me to work on right now. It is pretty clear that God is not suggesting that I become involved in any kind of he-said-she-said. Rather, it seems that I’m supposed to be rather quiet.

    I suggest you try this little prayer and see what God sends you.


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God speaks through love~

10/22/2014

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I believe that God is still speaking..., but  I'm beginning to wonder if God only speaks through love, and thus we can only hear God when we are in a state of love. At least, I'm hearing that that is how God wants me to speak. Yes, there was the Crucifixion (the pain) but also the Resurrection (the love). That’s the Christian story: both, not just one.

     As I was writing out my prayer list for today, I realized that I was only writing the names of people with whom I agree. Wrong way!, Everyone in a given situation needs to be on the list, for it is only then that I have the possibility of praying without judgment. It's one way for my heart and mind to open to Thy will be done. Perhaps it is only way for God to hear my prayer.



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August 24th, 2014

8/24/2014

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“Here’s the thing, say Shung. The thing I believe. God is inside you and inside everybody else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside find it and sometimes it just manifest itself even if you not looking or don’t know what you’re looking for. Trouble do it for most folks, I think. Sorrow, lord.”

     This idea of faith is puzzling, no getting around it. Maybe some of my questions resonate with you. Why do I have faith, while others claim to be atheist or agnostic? Why do I go to MCC and not to another church? Why am I Christian, not Jewish or Muslim? Why is my faith not as strong as someone else's?

    Then there is Shung’s comment about faith in Alice Walker’s, The Color Purple (quoted by Gerald G. May in The Dark Night of the Soul.) Why can’t I express belief in God as succinctly, and from the heart, as she does?

     I’m probably missing the point, not in asking the questions, but in expecting answers. I’m thinking that the answers are in the questions and in the questioning. After all, answers to questions of faith are never definitive: we’re not talking about science here!  



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Bob Pazmino and church attendance~

8/18/2014

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Bob Pazmino, my professor of Christian education at Andover Newton Theological School, has written a marvelous memoir. It’s a humorous, honest, faithful story of his days growing up in Brooklyn. He offers many nuggets to ponder. How about this one?

    “The weekly commitment to church attendance is a critical issue if church life is to be formative in the lives of both youth and adults.”

      How do we make this happen? Can we make it happen? Should it be our goal? Is the idea that weekly church attendance, and belief in Jesus as the Christ, an idea of the past, now relegated to the archives? There are many situations to ponder. Here’s one.

      I was brought up in a church-going family. All four of us went to church each Sunday with both of our parents. And yet, only the two oldest continue to attend church. The younger two (six years younger) are good people, but they have no part in church, or to my knowledge, in the Christian faith. This makes me wonder what effect the times in which we were raised has to do with church going and belief. My older sister and I were children of the fifties; my younger sister and brother of the sixties.  

      I believe that my weekly church attendance as a child made an important difference in my current involvement in church, and in my intentional journey as a person of faith. I agree with Bob that weekly church attendance is crucial for faith formation. But, this isn’t happening. What does it mean to individuals and to Christianity? Can the world express Christ’s message of love without intentional prayer and without opening up to the Holy Spirit? If God is still speaking, how will we hear God if we don’t take the time to listen. Church is one of the best places for that.


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