Yesterday during my walk between rain storms I got thinking about the first commandment. You know the one--to love God with all your heart, soul and mind. There I was walking along loving God with all my heart. So easy on a May day with all the flowering bushes; not difficult with the family doing well, and with no health complains. “Is that it?” I asked myself. The commandment goes on, ‘and to love your neighbor as yourself’. Easy-- at that moment I was feeling loving about myself and my heart was pretty open to others. “Is that it?” I asked again. After all, I wasn’t that ecstatic; the peace of God I was feeling wasn’t that overwhelming, nor did it ‘pass all understanding’. I was happy, content, in a good place, but not in that deep God place.
In my heart I know there is nothing superficial about loving God. It’s a full-time job, which takes prayer, grace and confession. Confession to myself about all those little (and big) places that I don’t love, and about all those inadequacies, envies, and regrets. Although my life isn’t burdened with them, they are there, lurking about, ready to pop up. What I don’t like in myself, I project onto others and at that moment all the love vanishes.
So this is big God work, this loving God, loving myself and loving others. They are all of a whole, a trinity. I can’t have one without the other.
In my heart I know there is nothing superficial about loving God. It’s a full-time job, which takes prayer, grace and confession. Confession to myself about all those little (and big) places that I don’t love, and about all those inadequacies, envies, and regrets. Although my life isn’t burdened with them, they are there, lurking about, ready to pop up. What I don’t like in myself, I project onto others and at that moment all the love vanishes.
So this is big God work, this loving God, loving myself and loving others. They are all of a whole, a trinity. I can’t have one without the other.
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