There is doubt, madness too.
In this solitary love of a God
who is at the same time
Absent and all absorbing.
…I hope; but what I hope for is out of sight…
that tortures me as I face him.
All the torment has direction and meaning there
Where it is hidden in God, as though coming to birth:
JOY, yes, but wrapped in NIGHT.
Fr Christian, translation by Rev’d Dr. Christopher Armstrong, in Lost in Wonder, by Esther de Waal