Lots going on here. One thought is that my purity of heart towards the person I’m praying for has bearing on it all. But on whom? Me? The person? Both of us? Are they separate? Maybe it’s about honesty with myself, before God. What part does my desire for the person to heal and find peace have to do with all? With the actual prayer? With God hearing and responding? Certainly honesty is a worthy place for me. But the truth is that sometimes my selfishness, jealousy, or competitiveness stands in the way of love; and this just somehow has to matter. The grace of it all is that through prayer, my self-centeredness can change to love.
Thank you for listening to my ramble. The story isn’t over.