Because I believe that God loves everyone, I know that everyone is given grace. I am grateful for the grace that has lead me on my faith journey, guiding me to live more from the heart than from the head. I have not desire to evangelize, but I hope that others can discover the grace that is present that gives them hope.
I believe that regardless of our particular circumstances, especially when they are challenging, we can be hopeful, we can shine light. We can’t do this alone through our own willingness and determination, but we can when we let go of thinking (the mind at work) we are in control and instead open up to the possibility of the spirit (the heart at work).
Because I believe that God loves everyone, I know that everyone is given grace. I am grateful for the grace that has lead me on my faith journey, guiding me to live more from the heart than from the head. I have not desire to evangelize, but I hope that others can discover the grace that is present that gives them hope.
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This weekend our kids and grandkids gathered to celebrated my husbands 85th birthday. We all did our part to make it a joyful time, which it was, but I know this joy wasn't just of our own doing. Some might call it some variation of luck, or fate, or good fortune. I don't dismiss any of those, but what about grace? Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. The lyrics of that well-known song were written by John Newton, a slave trader until God found him and saved him with His amazing grace. I'm not thinking about God saving me from some wretched way of being. But I am pondering what part grace played in our wonder-filled weekend. My faith tells me that grace was an essential ingredient. Grace comes as a sweet sound when I stop assuming that I am control of everything that is going on. Some might say that God and I are in partnership, or that I am co-creating with God. Words can't express what is beyond words, but here's my try today. When I open up and listening to God, when I commit to following the Golden Rule to love my neighbor as myself, grace appears and finds a space to be in my life. I’m flying to Florence tomorrow, returning the 30th. Same wonderful plan: walking around with God, sitting with God in churches, drinking cappuccino, writing, visiting museums, eating the best food ever. It all fills me with delightful anticipation, appreciation of the moment, and deep gratitude. The rhythm of the early morning-- a walk before dawn, a pause for that first savory cappuccino, more walking as the light hits the Arno, a stop in a favorite church, time at a café where I will enjoy another coffee and a brioche as I write. All of that brings me to 9AM; the day has just begun. I have no rational understanding of why this beautiful routine has been offered to me. But I do know that the offering is not of my own doing. It is God's grace and I do my best to use it well and to offer it back to the world. I feel, I believe, I know that prayer works. I don’t know how, nor do I know that even though I don’t get the result I want or even pray for, I still believes prayer works, or to be specific, it is working. Wow, what a wordy sentence! I’m not even going to attempt to edit it. It is the best I can do to explain about prayer, because, in my heart, I know that prayer is unexplainable. My heart also lets me know when prayer is making a difference. My heart, touched by grace, tells me that I have to pray, and so I do. Theophan the Recluse (1815-94), saint in the Russian Orthodox Church expresses it this way. “—the turning from the outside world to one’s inner self, and the subsequent turning from self toward God." Theophan the Recluse say we can do this 'when we are quickened by grace,' but WE HAVE TO DO IT. It is easier, one would think, to pray on Iona than in my backyard or in the Angel Room at home. I believe this is so. At least here on the island the physical surroundings and the time is right. Even in the rain and mist, I know God is here in this liminal place. My time is open to pray, even when I’m eating delicious meals prepared by someone else. But as Richard Foster writes in Celebration of Discipline, “We must always remember that the path does not produce change; it only places us where the change can occur. This is path of disciplined grace.” I can come to Iona to ‘walk around with God,’ only to find myself tapping into the news or fretting about this and that in my life. OR, I can come here and choose to walk the path of disciplined grace. It is God grace that has enabled me to come here; it is up to me to discipline myself to embrace this grace and walk around with God. Lately I’ve been thinking about the ‘role’ of those of us blessed to be positive, optimistic, and to see all things, good or bad, in the light of hope, love, and possibilities for GOOD. Everything that happens is grist for the mill. No matter what is before us, we can work through to a positive win/win solution. It takes time, effort, and commitment, and even moments of falling short in order to keep it going, but we do. I believe I have a part to play, and a choice in moving forward with love, or in joining in hate (gossip, schadenfreude, etc.). I don’t’ believe this is of my own doing, although I am aware of the benefits inherent in the time and place of my birth. What I’m emphasizing here is disposition. My faith and my church community help me fulfill this ‘role’. Grace doesn’t offer any excuse, nor get me off the hook; rather it obliges be see my role as to live a life of service. I admit I fall short all the time, but I try my best to keep the purpose in front of me. Throughout most of my waking hours I think about prayer, faith, and God, and find myself praying without ceasing. This ‘pattern of behavior’ began in earnest approximately twenty years go when I stopped teaching and began divinity school. It was nothing I consciously chose, it just evolved. In fact, this very unconscious obsession about God is the best proof I have for God’s existence and presence in my life; never could I have decided on my own to pursue God. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). I believe God has plans for every human being, and I don’t have an answer to why some hear God’s call, and other don’t. I know and have come to believe with certainty that being called by God has nothing to do with my behavior, good, bad or in between. The only answer is grace, which is a miracle. So, I leave it at that and think about prayer, faith, and God, and continue to pray without ceasing. We’ve decided to move from this old house where we’ve been living for the past forty years. Packing has begun and we’re looking for a condo in town. We want to do this while were healthy (enough), wealthy (enough) and wise (enough). Jim and I are a good team, he with financial and legal expertise, I with logistical savvy. I say this with as much humility as I can muster. This may sound arrogant, but I don’t feel that way. I am grateful for the blessings I have been given. If it weren’t for my faith, I’d probably take more of the credit for how my life has gone—giving a tad to Lady Luck. But Jesus lived a different way, and preached a different message. Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. As a Christian I know and believe that the good in my life is all grace and that I am called to do what I can to give back. Personal downside to moving: I won’t be able to walk across the street to the library or up the street to church. And yet, it's all about church. Sometimes, like right now, I sit down without a clue as to what I’m going to write about. God, my faith, prayer are always on my mind and in my heart so I trust that something will appear on the screen as I tap away. Ah, and there it is, that very idea that my life has become more and more surrounded, led, and challenged by God thoughts. Well, let’s delete the word thoughts and just leave it at God. It is God who challenges, not my thoughts. This isn’t to say that I don’t think un-godlike thoughts or don’t act in surly ways, but more and more quickly God calls out to me and pulls me back to deal with it all. Try as I might, I can’t get away from God very easily or for very long. It's grace. In my readings I often come across various renditions and compilations of the ‘fruit of the spirit’. The best know is this collection in Galatians By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things (5:22-23). A quick read and I say, ‘Sure, of course these are important way of being; I’m not a bad person.’ But as I examine how I’m doing, I recognize that I have a mighty long way to go, and if I’m attentive I can catch myself failing miserably on each one. However, when I read that there is no law against these things, I feel a sense of relief and hope. Although it is up to me to work toward expressing these fruits in my life, I can only do so with God’s grace. That lightens the burden because it affirms what I already know--that on my own I can’t be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, generous, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. I need God’s help. I need to know that God’s way doesn’t expect me to be perfect, that I will fail again and again, be forgiven again and again, but because of God’s grace I will have moments when I express spiritual fruit. That’s the best we humans can do. |
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