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  A Prayer Diary

Joan Chittister helps me out~

8/29/2016

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     Sometimes, no, usually, I keep my faith to myself. Although I often brag about my wonderful church, I rarely mention God. That has got to change, and I believe it is, slowly, but with confidence, with faith. Part of the difficulty is that it isn’t easy to explain God because God is in my heart, not my head. But that’s no excuse.

“Vision and Viewpoint: a weekly newsletter from Joan Chittister” has helped me this morning. Joan Chittister <visionviewpoint@benetvision.org>
 
I believe in….
 
Belief is not contrary to fact. It simply transcends it. To believe something is to know its truth not so much in our minds but in the center of our souls. 
 
We believe in goodness, for instance, because, however effective evil seems to be, it contradicts the highest aspirations of humanity. We believe in love rather than hate, because love draws out the best in us, while hate feeds on our smallness. We believe in people whose hearts we hold in our hands, whatever the situations that challenge that certainty, because we ourselves are nourished by that relationship. We believe in the spiritual because the material is simply not enough to justify the sense of the unfinishedness of life that lurks in every human heart.
 
In sum, belief is the ability to know what we cannot see. None of our beliefs, if they are really “belief,” are sure in the way that chemicals on scales are sure. Belief is sure in the way that truth is sure. It rings in our hearts like tines of crystal….

 
    I’m making a commitment to mention God once a day to people out there in my world who are not part of my church circle. Today I will start with my sister.

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Rule of Availability

10/5/2014

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More about the Rule of Life of availability of the Northumbria Community. We are called to be AVAILABLE to God and to others.

It makes perfect sense for a Christian to aspire to be available to God and others; the two are interwoven, of one seamless cloth. But how to stay available, when, as I believe, this means being available all the time? For me one of the stumbling block is that I forget the all the time part; put another way, one of the biggest challenges is to remember. I meet someone in the store or sit down at a meeting and my mind immediately takes over as we share family news or discuss who is bring bread for communion.

     In calling me to be available to God and others, I am being asked to welcome the Christ in everyone I encounter--all the time. That can only happen if I begin from my heart, not my head. At least it’s a place to start.

 We are called to be AVAILABLE to God and to others:
"Firstly to be available to God in the cell of our own heart when we can be turned towards Him, and seek His face; then to be available to others in a call to exercise hospitality, recognizing that in welcoming others we honor and welcome the Christ Himself; then to be available to others through participation in His care and concern for them, by praying and interceding for their situations in the power of the Holy Spirit; then to be available for participation in mission of various kinds according to the calling and initiatives of the Spirit."


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Being sacrifice~

9/22/2014

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Every so often I get thinking about sacrifice, and what that means for me as a Christian. For the most part I hate the word because it brings up the idea that I have to give up something. Although I might not like it, I understand that sacrifice might include giving up some, or even all, of my possessions and privileged life style. Giving up who I am, however, or what I think I need in order to be who I am….Well, that does sit right.

     But what if sacrifice isn’t what I do, but who I am, as Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel suggests? “We do not sacrifice. We are the sacrifice.” When I think of it that way, so much changes. I start with who I am and from there I choose to do. I also noticed that my prayer for others becomes a lifting up to God, not a responsibility of mine to get it right. Being sacrifice is what Jesus calls us to be.




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Prayer diary~

11/24/2013

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I was stunned, well at least surprised, to learn that C.S. Lewis and JFK died on the same day. Maybe I already knew it, but this year, on the 50th anniversary, was the first time really thought about it.

     C.S. Lewis, an intellectual, a Christian, who wrote, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

    JFK, a politician, a Christian, who said, “Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.”

    Scholars don’t have to hide behind their faith.; those in public life do. So where does this position the rest of us? It’s something I ponder for myself, and although I don’t talk much about my faith, writing this blog seems just about right.



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Obedient to God~

11/20/2013

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On my walk today I got thinking about what it means to be obedient to God. Obedience is an emotionally charged word, especially when linked with the demands that organized religion gives as criteria for membership in its particular denomination. Where does one’s obedience lie? In religious (or social) norms that we adhere to, or in ourselves, in the God within? Sometimes the two dovetail and that makes it easy. Other times, big conflict.

     Right now I’m not talking about issue of obedience that we study as part of church history. I’m talking about obedience now, in the twenty-first century, as the obedience button is being pushed over acceptance of gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/queer persons. While my denomination, UCC, has officially welcomed all of God’s children, others are speaking out a little less boldly, and some individuals, lay and clergy alike, are defying their denomination and acting from conscious to marry (and welcome) couples from the GLBTQ community.

     One such individual is Rev. Frank Schaefer who yesterday was found guilty by a United Methodist jury in Pennsylvania of performing a same-sex wedding six years ago for his son Tim, and of “disobedience to the order and discipline of the United Methodist Church.” Within thirty days Schaefer has been told he must decide if he can uphold the Book of Discipline in order to retain his “ministerial credentials”.

      I mention this, not to get involved in church politics, but as a way to gain some clarity about obedience to God. I have to believe that Schaefer acted out of obedience to a God of love, to Jesus who preached love, and to the Holy Spirit who entered his heart with love. Whatever I’m pondering, I have to look into my own heart to see what is right for me, to discern what I want to be obedient to. My sense of right and wrong isn’t always clear cut, which is why I walk the beach praying for answers, hoping to hear God leading me to my obedient answer. 

My source of information: The United Methodist Reporter: An Independent source of news and commentary on the life of the United Methodist Church http://unitedmethodistreporter.com/2013/11/19/schaefer-jury-30-day-suspension-possible-surrender/


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‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’

11/19/2013

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I just got word that a young mother, a wife, friend, a woman full of light and love has died. What can we make of such unfairness? We lament like Job, like the psalmists. Like Jesus we call out, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’

     I am grateful for all these laments, especially for Jesus’ words that let me know that I can be angry, that anger, despair, and even hopelessness are all part of the human condition. Simone Weil writes: “Affliction constrained Christ to implore that he might be spared, to seek consolation from man, to believe he was forsaken by the Father. It forced a just man to cry out against God, a just man as perfect as human nature can be, more so perhaps, if Job is less a historical character than a figure of Christ.”

     Jesus  and Job called out to God in their affliction, but they never left God, they never stop believing in God’ love; they just didn’t understand. 

That’s where I am now, trying to understand, waiting in hope for the resurrection. Thank God the story isn’t over.


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Thinking as prayer~

11/13/2013

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I’m finding there is more than one way to pray without ceasing. There is the traditional “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me,” which is the way of the starets of the Eastern Orthodox tradition. I like that one, humming in my mind at various times, like intentional background music.

    Recent news that a friend’s son had taken his life catapulted me into a new level of praying without ceasing. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, about his mom, about his family and friends. The thinking, which was the prayer, kept going, without form or words. All I knew was that I was joining everyone in their array of emotions. I was doing this all my waking minutes, including the last minute before sleep and the first in the morning, and, I have to believe, while sleeping, as well. God was right in there, right in the midst of it all. It was the best I could do and it was good.

    Then I heard myself praying for my friend’s son. God was leading me to pray for him during those three days as his soul was leaving. God was asking us all to help him on his way. And then I saw God reach down and scoop him up into God’s embrace.

     Don’t ask me if I actually saw this, or if it was actually happening. I’ll never know. What I do know is that my friend’s son is with God and it is good.



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God is not a baseball fan~

10/15/2013

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These days everyone in Boston is pretty excited about the Red Sox. Fair weather fan that I am, I am intermittently into it, too; if they win, I read the next day’s paper. So you can imagine that with Big Papi’s grand slam, I had a looong cup of coffee yesterday morning.

     But you know, I haven’t been praying for the outcome that I want. In fact, that never occurred to me until I started writing this. You see, growing up a Brooklyn Dodger fan, when October came around, I just knew that God was a Yankee fan. But I stopped believing that kind of thing, not because the Dodgers went to LA and became another team altogether, but because I got older. My understanding of God matured, became more nuanced, deepened. It happened to me and it happens to you. It will continue with me, it will continue with you. God is still speaking,’ (with a comma).

     We know that God isn’t a baseball fan, not even close. God doesn’t even know about baseball. God is on another plane, in a different category. In some mysterious way, more mysterious than any spectacular hitter or pitcher, God can give us peace, no matter what team we’re rooting for. I can pray that for all the teams and fans. Peace has no limits.

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Joys and concerns; where are the joys? 

10/13/2013

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How do I explain this without adding to the problem? Need I tell you about all the negativity that is being expressed in this country and throughout the world? We’re in a cycle where it seems that we start every conversation with what isn’t working, how bad it all is.

     Today the joys and concerns at church were particularly heavy. Cancer, surgery, sadness or all kinds. I don’t doubt their truth (I even contributed), but where were the joys? Were they not worth celebrating? Where was the balance?

     I’m not a Pollyanna, nor is my head in the sand. But I believe that we reap what we sow, that evil begets evil, that too much negativity can drag us down. I also have faith in a loving God, a God who greets us with gratitude. And so, I am going to greet each day with gratitude; and then as I continue along my way, I’m going to greet each person I meet with a joy. It will be my little contribution to helping us regain a realistic balance of joy and concern.

      Please join me in this little project. We can make a difference.

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Advent continues~

12/25/2012

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View from the Angel Room this morning.
The day we’ve all waited for is here. This Christmas we have no little people waking us. Strange? Certainly different from past years and from what the commercial world tells us our Christmas will be. I’m not sad or nostalgic; my memories are of gratitude.

     This Christmas morning I have time to sit here in my Angel Room and think about the long awaited Jesus in my life. All Christmas accessories have disappeared from mind as I ponder the familiar Gospel stories from Luke and Matthew. I don’t even need a Bible to tweak my memory; the words are deep within me.

      As I write this, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are resting in me, surrounding me, leading me,…. But today is Jesus’ special time and I feel his presence, that he is available to talk with me. Advent continues, this new beginning, a beginning that will begin again and again and again, and last forever. I am comforted as I remember Jesus words: “And surely, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

     You doesn’t mean just me; it means you and you and you, everyone. So, I offer you, my readers whoever you are, a blessed Christmas, yes, a Merry Christmas.




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