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Walking around Florence with God~

1/14/2016

Yesterday I wrote the following to a friend who composes and performs folk songs: “You sing, I walk around with God--same but different--opening up our souls to the good and sharing what we have.” Peg, who attends a Unitarian Universalist church, wrote back that she liked what I wrote.
Her comment caused me to notice that I have been mentioning God more and more in conversations, and once in a while God even sneaks into my cottagebythesea blog. As you readers of aprayerdiary know, I keep these two blogs separate—I never mention this prayer blog to the cottage readers. Each blog has a different focus, a different mission. Also, many cottage readers want no part of organized religion, spiritual conversation, or serious discussion about prayer. And yet, I trust that underneath their longing for solitude, they are looking for something beyond a rational, self-centered, worldly existence.
I see no good reason to join the two blogs, each of which in its own way serves me and hopefully my readers. On the other hand, I believe that the word God is slipping into general usage and becoming more acceptable out in the world. More people are able to hear and claim the word for their own good use.
That being said, I am considering using the word God occasionally in the cottage blog. I believe I can do so without people feeling offended, or concluding I want convert them, or being turned off by what I say. I’ll give it a try by first explaining more or less what I’ve written here—another example of thought and language, of how writing helps us know what we are thinking.

Carrying silence, solitude and simplicity with me wherever I go~

5/6/2015

Finally, I’m back to posting. I took a break while finishing Very Grateful, which is now off to the copy editor and then on to production. I was surprised at the relief I felt the moment I wrote my response to my editor’s final suggestion. It had to do with ending my cottage-by-the-sea days. This past winter would have been my sixth season, but the owner became ill and wasn’t able to go to Florida, so I stayed home.

In that final writing i discovered that I don’t need the cottage any more, that I can carry silence, solitude and simplicity with me wherever I go.

This realization wasn’t an answer to a particular prayer, but I believe it was a response to the prayerful work I have been doing to keep God in the forefront of my life. Oh, I fail miserable, but every morning I pray for God’s presence to be with me throughout the day, and so even though I’m not conscious of it all the time, I believe it is there. The more intentional I am about it, the more certain it will be.

It is a comfort to believe and come to know that our intention and effort at prayer continues to work in us whether we are aware of it or not.

God doesn't pull strings~

1/27/2015

Here’s that cliché again: “Where does the time go?” Since I posted four days ago I have learned that the cottage isn’t available this year because the owner had a stroke and won’t be going south; and I have made plans to go to Florence (yes, Florence, Italy) from February 22-March 5.

   Here’s the theological challenge. The elation that I’m experiencing as I plan my Florence trip is only possible because of my cottage friend’s illness. Had plans gone as expected, he would be playing tennis is Florida and I would be shoveling in Maine. My time and money would be committed to the win-win situation that he and I have had for five years, and that would be fine with me. But personally, this winter plan is working out beautifully. I’ve loved being home with my husband all winter, and now I love the idea that I will be in Florence visiting my favorite spots and writing in my favorite libraries and cafes.

    I don’t feel guilty that I have this fabulous plan while my friend is struggling to heal; my good fortune hasn’t happened at the expense of my hia illness. That isn’t the way it works with God. God isn’t ‘up there’ pulling strings. Life happens, the good and the bad, the joys and concerns. We are called to pray and to respond in God’s way, which is the loving way.

    P. S. Also, since I posted we have had 18 inches of snow and it’s still coming down. To quote my mother, “We’re not in charge of the weather.”

God is waiting to be found~

11/24/2014

Forgive me. I try to post every other day, but that commitment slipped away this past week. We visited friends, our granddaughter came to visit, and voila, the week had passed. Today I finally got back to what I consider a normal schedule, which to a large extent means that I have the morning for prayer and spiritual reading. I miss it when I’m away or am busy, but I am also very grateful for these non-routine times in my life.
If things had gone as planned, if the owner hadn’t gotten sick, I’d be at the cottage now. But life happens and we adjust, or to use a friend’s term, we ‘re-arrange’. The good news is that the owner is better. However, I doubt that I’ll get up there until after the New Year. That’s okay with me. God follows me around wherever I go. When I’m busy, God seems to hang out toward the back or to the side. God is easier to find when I’m settled in at home, which includes my cottage home. The truth is that all I need to do is remember God and there God is. That’s how I find God. God is waiting to be found.

Pray without ceasing~

11/15/2014

The following is yesterday’s post on my cottagebythesea.net blog. I want to add a little here about the part that prayer played in my response to the delay. I believe that my acceptance was God led, God’s answer to my prayer that my heart be open to love. I keep practicing to pray without ceasing the Jesus prayer, Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me. And then, when I least expect it, God shows me of a moment of grace; my first thought is about someone else, not about me.

   A change in the journey. Yesterday I received a call from the man from whom I rent the cottage-by-the-sea. From his hospital bed he told me that he was dealing with a little medical problem and thus would not be flying to Florida on Sunday as planned. Could I hold off coming to the cottage for a couple of weeks until….?

     “Of course. The important thing is that you get better. I’m fine wherever I am,” I told him. And I meant it. My first thought was that he get better so he could play tennis in the Florida sun. I readily admit that on another day, in another situation, I could have thought first of myself, of my loss. But this was a good day!

       The good day continued as I noticed how content I was with the changing plans: the shift from days of solitude watching the water and walking the beach, to the inherent sociability of my life at home; the readjustment I would have to make to schedule writing my memoir.

      I’m fine wherever I am these days. Six years ago, as I prepared for my first season at the cottage, I wouldn’t have been in that place of satisfaction. Back then I longed to experience silence, solitude and simplicity and figure out what it meant in my life--past, present and future. Now I have a sense of it; I own it deep inside. Wherever I go I carry silence, solitude and simplicity with me.

       I hope this works out for us. I hope my friend can get to Florida. I hope I can have another season at the cottage. Regardless, our journey will continue to change.

Mercy and gratitude~

1/5/2014

This morning, sitting here in my cozy cottage by the sea, sun streaming in, water sparkling, snow giving off light, I read this by Thomas Merton: ‘Only the man who has had to face despair is really convinced he needs mercy.’

    ‘Mercy,’ I say to myself, ‘Is that true for me?’ I’ve never, and I mean never, faced despair. And that’s not just because I’m an optimist and was born to see the cup half full. The truth is, my life has not had despair: no tragic deaths in family during my lifetime, not even early deaths; good citizens; good health for all.

    Questions arise. Has there been despair, that due to lack of compassion, I just haven’t noticed or let into my heart? If so, could that be a good thing because in responding in the light more than the dark, I offer hope? Am I prepared for despair? What is mercy, anyway?

    I know these are questions to ponder, not to be answered in any definitive way. As I sit here, light pouring into the cottage, I try to stay grateful and offer light. It’s my way. Maybe it’s God’s form of mercy to me.

Prayers heard and answered~

11/18/2013

I’m at the cottage, so grateful to wake up in this sacred place; the silence, solitude and simplicity is palpable. I arose at 5:15 and sat of the deck (living room) for almost two hours, just being in God’s presence as it washed over me—it remains with me still. I am blessed to be here with no obligations other than to take care of myself in the most rudimentary ways--eat, sleep and be safe. But blessings are not to be coveted or selfishly held, and so I know I have another obligation, one that God has given me, and that is to pray for others. When I am here, it is easier for me to clear out the cobwebs of chatter, judgment, critique and analysis that get in the way of being with God. When I am here, the space between God and me (and others) is transparent, and that, I believe is when prayer is heard and answered.

Prayer, God, faith, hope, all such mysteries, and yet today I sense I have a handle on it all. I am especially praying for a friend whose son just took his life, and for a few others who are walking a precarious road. I know that my prayers are being heard and answered. ‘Very grateful.’

Off to the cottage~

11/16/2013

Tomorrow I’ll be settling in again at the cottage. For those of you who are wondering, What cottage? here’s the quick story. This is the fourth winter season that I have rented a cottage right on the ocean. It’s an hour and a half drive from my home, so I can easily go back and forth, and that is just what I do. Usually I’m at the cottage during the week and at home on the weekends.

I love the silence, solitude and simplicity there. I watch the sunrise every morning--even when it’s cloudy. Also, in no particular order, I pray, read, write, enjoy jigsaw puzzles, walk the beach, and gaze at the ocean. I check my email twice a day, morning and evening, and I don’t talk on the phone. Sometimes I cover the clocks and live a timeless day.

It is in this simple, silent life of solitude that I let go of the chatter (read judgments) in my head. Then, I can pray for others, which is why I go to there-- to pray and to be with God.

Jesus and 'The Three Sieves'~

8/12/2013

More about the three sieves. Is it truthful, kind, and necessary? Before you tell a story about someone you know or know of, try sifting it through these questions. They may keep your story from slipping into gossip. (See my 8/11/13 entry on www.cottagebythesea.net). Of course, not all stories fall into this category. Case in point, the parable, one of Jesus’ favorite teaching tools (defined on merriam-webster.com as “a usually short fictitious story that illustrates a moral attitude or a religious principle.”) Jesus never stepped into the gossip arena, never told a story that needed to be put through ‘The Three Sieves Test’. When he spoke about a particular person he spoke directly to him or her.. Way to go. As Jesus said, “Follow me.”

Three small white wooden crosses~

5/2/2013

To the best of my recollection this is the first time that my two blogs have shared the same entry. But today is the day for a new first. Today there is no seam between my cottage by the sea and my prayer diary.

In my last blog I wrote about the open-air memorial on Copley Square to the victims of the Boston bombing. When I was there, it felt that it had sprung up from the heart of every visitor and that that love continued to tend it day after day.

     I now have some more information about this phenomenon. I quote from the First Parish of Sudbury Unitarian Universalist 327 Concord Rd., Sudbury, MA 01776 newsletter. The words are those of Interim Minister Rev. Tracey Robinson-Harris.

(For the full text of John Millspaugh’s reflection go to http://www.uuworld.org/life/articles/285333.shtml)

       “The Rev. John Millspaugh was on Boylston Street recently. He writes, In front of a shuttered storefront, three small white wooden crosses stood with elegant simplicity, each bearing the name and picture of one of the three victims who died on April 15. . .adorned with ribbons and paper hearts, mementos and religious figurines . . . Because the police’s physical investigation was drawing to a close and Boylston Street would soon reopen, DPW workers were relocating the objects from the impromptu shrine to a larger one in Copley Square. At first, we passersby simply watched the DPW men as they loaded . . . items into their white van. Gradually . . . we flowed past barricades to help them with their holy labor. . . Both spectators and DPW workers seemed hesitant to remove the three wooden crosses standing alone on the granite sidewalk.

      “The DPW official in charge, noticing the clergy garb John was wearing from a Standing on the Side of Love rally supporting immigration reform earlier that day, asked him to say a few words before the crosses were loaded and the shrine dissolved completely. John’s prayer ended with, “May we all be the rebuilders.” John continues.

     “One of the DPW workers spoke softly to the official, who then turned to me and asked if I would carry Martin Richard’s cross to the van . . . I can’t describe the feelings that surged in me as I lifted the memorial to this 8-year-old boy. Sorrow, humility, and reverence for the sacred privilege come close. The destruction of that day cannot be undone. But it can be answered. Already we are busying ourselves with healing. . . There is much to do on a symbolic level. I’m beginning to ask myself how to move beyond the symbolic. I’ll be searching for ways to answer the destructive acts of these two individuals with actions grounded in my own highest values. I’ll be looking for ways that we, together, might re-consecrate sacred ground.

In the midst of our joy and our sorrow may we be (re)builders of the future.

In faith,

Tracey

(For the full text of John’s reflection go to http://www.uuworld.org/life/articles/285333.shtml)”