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  A Prayer Diary

Fruits of Centering Prayer~

1/5/2018

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     We have lived in this old house for over a week with no running water downstairs. I’m talking about washing machine and kitchen sink, including frozen drains. Up and down the steep, back stairs we go to fetch water and do dishes. We could be complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves, after all, it’s a first world privilege to whine about such inconveniences. But we don’t.
     I attribute my attitude to the fruits of Centering Prayer and the Jesus Prayer. I just show up and ‘do’ them. For twenty minutes a day I sit in God’s presence, letting go of thoughts and feeling my breath. During the day, whenever I remember, I let go of thoughts and think, ‘Jesus Christ have mercy on me.’ The fruits appear; I am free of stress about a particular situation; I don’t have a judgment about something or someone; my mind is less cluttered; I return more often to praying without ceasing.
      These are miracles. Centering prayer opens up the space for God to do God’s work in my life. The Jesus Prayer keeps my heart open.

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Breath or sacred word?

10/18/2017

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    Tonight I’m leading a session on Centering Prayer at my church. I’m no expert, but I show up daily to be in God’s presence, and that’s all that’s required. Show up and sit for twenty minutes with a clear mind. When a thought shows up, let it go, and return to be in God’s presence.
     Fr. Thomas Keating, who in the 1980s articulated contemporary Christian meditation known as Centering Prayer, suggests we chose a sacred word or symbol (such as Om, love, peace) to return to when a thought comes into mind.. “The primary function of the sacred word is not to push thoughts away or to thin them out. It is rather to express our intention to love God, to be in God’s presence, and to submit to the Spirit’s action during the time of prayer.”
      I find a sacred word too distracting.  Like many other meditation practices, I choose to return to my breath, which is always with me. My breath is in my body, whereas a word is in my mind where my thoughts are. And thoughts are the very thing I’m trying to let go of during this time.  
        Sacred word, breath, choose the one that eases you back to faith and love toward God.

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Centering Prayer revisited~

5/1/2017

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By practicing Centering Prayer I know and have come to believe that faith grows and deepens when I take time to be with God, without anything added. During this prayer time, the idea of God gets out of my head, and the spirit of God enters my heart.
Committing to a daily practice of Centering Prayer continues to be a challenge. It work best when I begin the day with twenty minutes, but sometimes I find an excuse-- too much to do, or, I want my morning coffee. Now that I’ve admitted these lame excuses, however, I find it harder to skip the practice.
This morning I was tempted, once again, to pour that early cup of coffee, fooling myself into trusting that and combination of Centering Prayer and sipping coffee might work. But I didn’t, and thanks be to God, I remained in God’s presence for longer periods of time than usual. I felt an understanding come over me. Nothing new, but from my heart, not my head I heard: Let go of pre-conceived outcomes; let go of all; let go, let God.  


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Let go, let God.

2/11/2017

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For the past few days I have wanted to write, but I can’t come up with the words. You see, when I feel God’s presence, there are no words, because God is beyond words. I just know/feel God.
     That is the best I can say, but perhaps I can explain how this presence without words has come about. First of all, I have let go of trying to figure it all out: “Here I am God,” is about it for words. Also, I am practicing Centering Prayer daily, the essence of which is no words. Finally, I am reading, and, what is amazing and totally unexpected, is God’s presence that comes over me from time to time when I have book in hand.
     Today my mantra is, “Let go, let God.” Give it a try.


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Centering prayer report~

8/23/2016

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Here’s the current report on my centering prayer commitment. Sorry to admit that I’ve gone from A+ to a B. The grade is for showing up, not for content. Remember those A for Effort, B for Content from junior high school?
Life has been happening—company, sleeping late, any other excuse that I can think of. If I get up early I’m pretty good at getting in that early morning twenty minute session, but if I’m home in the afternoon, I am very good at getting in a nap instead feeling the breath.
All that being said, I continue to hear benefits and will not give up. Here are three awareness that I recently wrote in my journal that I attribute to CP: 1) We all breathe—that is our common identity; 2) Teach me to number my days—living long gives wisdom about life after life; 3) What we want for ourselves we must want for others; 4) Not participating perfectly in CP is humbling.


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Prayers answered~

8/18/2016

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     Prayers answered; my sister had a good report from her ophthalmologist, and Ellen is will be released from the hospital in a few days after successful brain surgery. My cousin, on the other hand, is still waiting for a kidney donation. I must remember to give thanks, and to keep praying. I don’t try to determine exactly how my prayers figure into all of this, but I’m quite certain that my rational brain has very little to do with it. It’s all in getting rid of my thoughts (judgments and fears) and opening my heart so that the channel between me and God is flowing only with love, only with Thy will be done.
    Centering prayer has offered me the following understanding. What God created was good. In fact when God created humankind, it was ‘very good’. When we are very good (no judgments or fears, only love), we are at one with God and thus prayers are answered—in God’s time and in God’s way, however. Accepting this is the challenge of faith.



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Centering prayer update~

4/27/2016

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Since I began the daily practice of centering prayer in January I’ve been spending less time figuring out about God. God just is; God leads; I follow. Well, it’s not that simple, but that’s the idea. That being said, I admit that I’m still terrible at it. I ‘feel the breath’ a few times and then started planning menus or making travel plans. But I show up, and that, I am told, is all I have to do. Showing up twice a day for twenty minutes means I am committed to this mysterious practice of being with this mysterious presence that I call God.

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Contemplative prayer at SSJE

4/17/2016

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Yesterday I attended a workshop on contemplative prayer (synonymous with centering prayer) at the Society of St. John the Evangelist in Cambridge. About forty of us sat in a circle in the general purpose room of the undercroft of the monastery listening to Br. Robert and practicing letting go of thoughts as we felt our the breath. It is simple as that. And yet, how hard it is to expand that space between thoughts!
Br. Robert opened the session reading Mark 6:1-6. Jesus is at his hometown synagogue, teaching but not praying. He prays when he goes off by himself, which is a model he has given us for contemplative prayer,
Here are a few nuggets gleaned the workshop.
• Prayers is about relationship with God.
• The purpose of contemplative prayer (and life) is union with the Divine.
• Develop a daily routine for contemplative prayer and follow it. If on a given day you don’t want to, do it anyway. Give up all excuses.
• Br. Robert’s first thought when he wakes up in the morning is about coffee, not God.


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Centering prayer update

3/31/2016

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     I’ve continued to show up for twenty minutes twice a day to practice centering prayer. My mind still bops all over the place, but at least I’m present, just sitting there, phone timer set. My usual times are 6AM and 1PM.
     Fr. Thomas Keating and the centering prayer spokespeople say that showing up is where to start. Makes sense to me. After all, how can I gain benefits if I don’t do it? Evidently, after years of practice some people are still struggling to empty their minds of thoughts, so how can be discouraged? I trust the process. I figure that if my willingness to sit with God pleases me, it just has to please God.


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Holy Saturday: a centering prayer day.

3/26/2016

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     I’ve never paid much attention to Holy Saturday. Growing up I don’t recall it ever mentioned in my UCC church. Just a day when nothing happened, nothing going on at church. That’s still true. I can see my church from our upstairs window and all is quiet. No cars in the parking lot. No service to attend.
And yet, I notice that Holy Saturday is very much with me this year. Not on my mind, as in thinking, but as a presence, a presence of the God of centering prayer; the God that comes to me when I stop analyzing, stop trying to figure things out, stop wanting to do it my way.
     Today I feel particularly calm; I am living a centering prayer day. I’ll be doing my regular activities-- cooking, enjoying family, reading, writing, and walking--but I sense that my mind will be empty of some of the usual, excessive and unnecessary chatter. Yes, a centering prayer day.


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