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  A Prayer Diary

Centering prayer update

2/8/2024

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Here's an update on my commitment to practice centering prayer. A month ago I set the goal do so twice a day for 15 minutes, morning and afternoon. Recently I set my timer for 16 minutes, with the thought to move it up one minute every week until I reach the suggested to 20 minutes. Truth be told, I'm not commitment to that length of time, even though it is the standard time expressed by everyone who practices centering prayer. 
      The good news is that except for two days, I have fulfilled this commitment. The other good news is that there isn't any bad news because I have fulfilled my intention--I have shown up.
     When I meditate my mind is all over the place, but I return to my sacred word--God--whenever I become aware enough to let go of a thought.  Fr. Thomas Keating and others would say that I'm doing fine because I  show up.  I'm not concerned with how I'm doing, which is big step forward for someone like me (and you?) who is performance driven. Alas, this is NOT about performance, it is about showing up to be with God. 
      Since staring this practice, I have become aware of experiencing God's presence throughout the day in new and surprising ways.  And that is good news.

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Prating centering prayer...again

1/6/2024

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Prayer is not a request for God's favors. True, it has been used to obtain the satisfaction of personal desires. It has even been adopted to reinforce prejudices, justify violence, and create barriers between people and between countries. But genuine prayer is based on recognizing the Origin of all that exists, and opening ourselves to it…. In prayer we acknowledge God as the supreme source from which flows all strength, all goodness, all existence, acknowledging that we have our being, life itself from this supreme Power. One can then communicate with this Source, worship it, and ultimately place one's very center in it.
​         Piero Ferrucci, Ineffable Grace (p.254) quoted in Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, by Cynthia Bourgeault,  


 I've returned to 'practicing' meditation. I'd like to say 'trying,' not 'practicing,' but I know how that word can imply failure. When we try, we hope for success but know that failure is always a possibility. When we try, our endeavor ends and we go on to something else. 
      When we practice, however, failure or success isn't a part of it. We keep going, sometimes being in the moment, sometimes being some place else, sometimes being with God, sometimes with some else. 
      The goal in practicing centering prayer is to be totally open to God, which has not no end. That's what I'm practicing.

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Fruits of Centering Prayer~

1/5/2018

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     We have lived in this old house for over a week with no running water downstairs. I’m talking about washing machine and kitchen sink, including frozen drains. Up and down the steep, back stairs we go to fetch water and do dishes. We could be complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves, after all, it’s a first world privilege to whine about such inconveniences. But we don’t.
     I attribute my attitude to the fruits of Centering Prayer and the Jesus Prayer. I just show up and ‘do’ them. For twenty minutes a day I sit in God’s presence, letting go of thoughts and feeling my breath. During the day, whenever I remember, I let go of thoughts and think, ‘Jesus Christ have mercy on me.’ The fruits appear; I am free of stress about a particular situation; I don’t have a judgment about something or someone; my mind is less cluttered; I return more often to praying without ceasing.
      These are miracles. Centering prayer opens up the space for God to do God’s work in my life. The Jesus Prayer keeps my heart open.

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Breath or sacred word?

10/18/2017

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    Tonight I’m leading a session on Centering Prayer at my church. I’m no expert, but I show up daily to be in God’s presence, and that’s all that’s required. Show up and sit for twenty minutes with a clear mind. When a thought shows up, let it go, and return to be in God’s presence.
     Fr. Thomas Keating, who in the 1980s articulated contemporary Christian meditation known as Centering Prayer, suggests we chose a sacred word or symbol (such as Om, love, peace) to return to when a thought comes into mind.. “The primary function of the sacred word is not to push thoughts away or to thin them out. It is rather to express our intention to love God, to be in God’s presence, and to submit to the Spirit’s action during the time of prayer.”
      I find a sacred word too distracting.  Like many other meditation practices, I choose to return to my breath, which is always with me. My breath is in my body, whereas a word is in my mind where my thoughts are. And thoughts are the very thing I’m trying to let go of during this time.  
        Sacred word, breath, choose the one that eases you back to faith and love toward God.

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Centering Prayer revisited~

5/1/2017

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By practicing Centering Prayer I know and have come to believe that faith grows and deepens when I take time to be with God, without anything added. During this prayer time, the idea of God gets out of my head, and the spirit of God enters my heart.
Committing to a daily practice of Centering Prayer continues to be a challenge. It work best when I begin the day with twenty minutes, but sometimes I find an excuse-- too much to do, or, I want my morning coffee. Now that I’ve admitted these lame excuses, however, I find it harder to skip the practice.
This morning I was tempted, once again, to pour that early cup of coffee, fooling myself into trusting that and combination of Centering Prayer and sipping coffee might work. But I didn’t, and thanks be to God, I remained in God’s presence for longer periods of time than usual. I felt an understanding come over me. Nothing new, but from my heart, not my head I heard: Let go of pre-conceived outcomes; let go of all; let go, let God.  


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Let go, let God.

2/11/2017

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For the past few days I have wanted to write, but I can’t come up with the words. You see, when I feel God’s presence, there are no words, because God is beyond words. I just know/feel God.
     That is the best I can say, but perhaps I can explain how this presence without words has come about. First of all, I have let go of trying to figure it all out: “Here I am God,” is about it for words. Also, I am practicing Centering Prayer daily, the essence of which is no words. Finally, I am reading, and, what is amazing and totally unexpected, is God’s presence that comes over me from time to time when I have book in hand.
     Today my mantra is, “Let go, let God.” Give it a try.


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Centering prayer report~

8/23/2016

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Here’s the current report on my centering prayer commitment. Sorry to admit that I’ve gone from A+ to a B. The grade is for showing up, not for content. Remember those A for Effort, B for Content from junior high school?
Life has been happening—company, sleeping late, any other excuse that I can think of. If I get up early I’m pretty good at getting in that early morning twenty minute session, but if I’m home in the afternoon, I am very good at getting in a nap instead feeling the breath.
All that being said, I continue to hear benefits and will not give up. Here are three awareness that I recently wrote in my journal that I attribute to CP: 1) We all breathe—that is our common identity; 2) Teach me to number my days—living long gives wisdom about life after life; 3) What we want for ourselves we must want for others; 4) Not participating perfectly in CP is humbling.


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Prayers answered~

8/18/2016

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     Prayers answered; my sister had a good report from her ophthalmologist, and Ellen is will be released from the hospital in a few days after successful brain surgery. My cousin, on the other hand, is still waiting for a kidney donation. I must remember to give thanks, and to keep praying. I don’t try to determine exactly how my prayers figure into all of this, but I’m quite certain that my rational brain has very little to do with it. It’s all in getting rid of my thoughts (judgments and fears) and opening my heart so that the channel between me and God is flowing only with love, only with Thy will be done.
    Centering prayer has offered me the following understanding. What God created was good. In fact when God created humankind, it was ‘very good’. When we are very good (no judgments or fears, only love), we are at one with God and thus prayers are answered—in God’s time and in God’s way, however. Accepting this is the challenge of faith.



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Centering prayer update~

4/27/2016

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Since I began the daily practice of centering prayer in January I’ve been spending less time figuring out about God. God just is; God leads; I follow. Well, it’s not that simple, but that’s the idea. That being said, I admit that I’m still terrible at it. I ‘feel the breath’ a few times and then started planning menus or making travel plans. But I show up, and that, I am told, is all I have to do. Showing up twice a day for twenty minutes means I am committed to this mysterious practice of being with this mysterious presence that I call God.

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Contemplative prayer at SSJE

4/17/2016

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Yesterday I attended a workshop on contemplative prayer (synonymous with centering prayer) at the Society of St. John the Evangelist in Cambridge. About forty of us sat in a circle in the general purpose room of the undercroft of the monastery listening to Br. Robert and practicing letting go of thoughts as we felt our the breath. It is simple as that. And yet, how hard it is to expand that space between thoughts!
Br. Robert opened the session reading Mark 6:1-6. Jesus is at his hometown synagogue, teaching but not praying. He prays when he goes off by himself, which is a model he has given us for contemplative prayer,
Here are a few nuggets gleaned the workshop.
• Prayers is about relationship with God.
• The purpose of contemplative prayer (and life) is union with the Divine.
• Develop a daily routine for contemplative prayer and follow it. If on a given day you don’t want to, do it anyway. Give up all excuses.
• Br. Robert’s first thought when he wakes up in the morning is about coffee, not God.


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